First, I found My feet. My toes, And heels, And arches. They dug in deep And I reached. Next my legs Emerged, My calves, And shins, And thighs. They thickened And I soared. And in the end, I bent Into feet and legs, Muscle and bone, And found grace.
Some days (Especially those that echo with “Move,” and “Hurry,” and “Do, do, do... but don’t!...”) Those days I may just sit, And breathe, And come back to sitting And breathing And if it takes Every moment Of my practice To arrive, Still, I find myself there.
My mat Feels Somehow Simultaneously Too big For the small Space I’ve squeezed Myself Into And Too small To contain What’s leaking From My bursted seams.
I peer Towards the flame From behind The gauze of, “I wish,” And “What if,” And “Why can’t,” And it is dark There. And it is dark Until My breathing seeps Between the edges Separating Wishes from Cants And why nots From what ifs. And here I am now In the clear Flickering Light Of the morning.
I forgot, Today, To pick A beat To set My flow. Instead, I found The rushing Of my breath And the creaking Of my bones And the popping Of my joints And the whispered screeching Of my muscles In the silence. I remembered, Today, To hear My flow Set my beat. And the closing chords Were lovely.
Wandering, Ragged, And worn, I stumble on To my mat. And reaching Past its Rubber edges I gather The pieces Of me Strewn about - Knees and elbows, Tips and toes, A bit of flesh, An ***** or two - Each finding Its place So I can find mine Before sunrise.
Yesterday I needed To feel The ground Solid And deep Under My feet. I needed To feel My legs Solid And strong On top of My mat. And when My legs Felt weak Yesterday I needed To feel. And when The ground Felt Shaky Today I needed To need. And it was ok Because I’d practiced.
I found My mat, Today, Squeezed Between Housework And workwork In a space Too small And too quick To expect The twists And bridges And wheels That unfolded there. I smiled, At the end, Folding forward In thanks For the unexpected That shows up In the in-betweens.
The rhythm comes Easily tonight, With a day’s-worth Of doings And thinkings And feelings Looking to settle. And the breath Shares the beat With the body On repeat - Pulling, Folding, Melting, Breathing. I pull. I fold. I melt. And breathe. And breathe. And breathe... I’m all colored bits Bound in wax paper When your voice Whisks me back - “Baby?”
Today That space I seek And find Was slippery And sloped. I found myself, Over And over, Sliding forward Into Tomorrow, Into Next month, Into And Then Into What If And One Day. But When I let go I found, At the bottom, The sought.
When the time Arrived, I didn’t. I made an appearance - A quick Hello - Then scampered off To solve Problems, To anticipate Issues, To recall Details My mind provided For careful (And Urgent!) Examination. My body stayed, Working Excuses into Polite Conversation. Just in case. And in the end, It left alone.
I woke Hesitant To do so, Not quite ready For the next To be now. Yet So it was, (And so I woke) And so it kept Being. Now. And now. And now. And now. And then, In a moment, Still and shadowed, I caught up. And woke again.
Today I practiced All The most Important Details. I breathed, And I felt Myself Breathing. I listened, And I heard Myself Living. And I planted my feet, And I reached Way past Where I usually Stop. And later, In his eyes, I saw what I practiced for.
I watch The words Dance Full grown, Well mannered From your lips, And the threads They call To existence Weave Perfectly Together A start, An arc, A seamless Resolution Where worlds Spin With sense. And I am Lonely Shrouded In your tapestry Clinging to my ****** Beneath.