you are back
returned
to haunting me
stalking my dreams
you and the other
monsters
all ghosts seem
to return at once
I can taste you
feel you
wanting another
pound of flesh
for your larder
hedonistic as ever
too much
was never enough
for you
panic rises
black dots fusing
as always
obscuring light
******* the oxygen
out of my room
the air replaced
with your scent
each inward breath
suffocates me further
tick tock tick tock
slowing down the clock
dragging out nights shadows
I left you long ago
why can't you
just let me go.

© J.C.

Underwater bells ring
candles fire flickering
burning down
to waxen embered nub
thunder rumbles
as lightning strikes
flashes through
my dreamscape
kicking up through
the undertow
hoping to wake
his cool hands
pull on my ankles
trying to keep me
down with him
where deep underwater
bells ring
where deathly angels
with sweet
voices sing.

© J.C.

Waking up
panic rising
like bile
choking me
without you near
black dots fuse
together as fear
turning on all the lights
checking rooms
in the dead of night
pulse racing
heart thumping
there's no erasing
it
every sound has me
jumping
focus focus focus
on my breath
in

count

out

repress the urge
to scream and shout
as panic surge
after surge
holds me tight
in its grip
relentless
like a bad acid trip
feeling out of control
the seams tear and rip
counting hours til dawn
never felt so alone
lost in nights chasmic yawn
all I can do is
rock rock rock
try keep it tight
on lock
ride it out
knowing
what it's all about
doesn't mean
I can fix it though
some things
you cannot unknow
just hanging on
til first rays
of morning sun
some things
just can't be undone

© J.C.

woken by sultry rain
droplets big fat splots
upon my window pane
feeds the need
to feel your skins warmth
next to me
in nights dark pitch
knowing
at my fingers reach
you are here
closer, so near
not kept from me
by swirling vast seas
It hurts
pulling your pillow
in close
wrapping my body around it
whispering your name
is not the same
as feeling your breath
upon my skin
your touch
that I need so much
the rain falls
on and on
pushes me
through this barren night
til dawns light
breaks me apart
with it tears at my heart.

© J.C.

From ******* sweet tips
and curve of hip
milky thighs and sighs
of feminine mystique

Its the inner sighs, smiles
and why's,
the mothers touch
that heals so much
the loving reach,
across the breech,
soothes woes of man
she is Woman.

© J.C.

when I'm sick
with physical malaise
and pain gives way
to anxiety in waves
of rising panic
you soothe me
with tender care
ease me through
to peaceful calm
tending
so I come to no harm
with you
I feel safe
for you to see me
stripped and bared
of my outer armour
fragile weak scared
returned to
a child-like state
needing reassurance
kindness
and 'there-theres'
to know that
someone cares
I feel it all with you
I feel cared for
nurtured
I feel you
I feel loved
deep and true.

J.C.