Boys taught me if I wasn't beautiful
Then I was nothing
They abused my emotions
Until I did whatever the hell it took
To become whatever attractive was
I've been told that I am now
But I could never explain to you why
They always mention my eyes?

Boys taught me if I wanted to get anywhere in life
Then I needed to manipulate their desires
So they'd fall into a trap
And feel things that could never be fulfilled
They trained me to walk and smile a certain way
So I could get what I needed
As they held it in their hands

Boys taught me that my body is the greatest feature I could ever offer
Bottle up any emotions
Because they'd rather not deal with mine
Because feeling is scary
And girls are supposed to be easy
They'd make me dependent
Without taking any responsibility for my mental well-being

Sure
Girls are insane
But wouldn't you be too
If you had the weight of man's world
Suffocating you?

Sure
Girls are crazy
But wouldn't you be too
If your whole life you were taught that you wouldn't be hurt
If you were beautiful
But when you become beautiful
It becomes their greatest form of abuse?

I had never seen her face like that before. It was so... heavy. Her blue eyes had turned gray. Her comforting smile was resting as lifeless lips on her face. It was as if you could tangibly see the weight pulling her down into a darkness one doesn't return from.

"That's what you do when you love people. You sacrifice. Even if it means giving up your world for their happiness and security."

She was silent for a long time. Then she cleared her throat and I could've sworn I saw water in her eyes.

*"We die for the things we love. Then hope those things miss us after we're gone."

I am gently teaching my heart to move on
There are nights she still asks for you
Moments when I have to remind her why you left

She asks me often how we lost you
And every time I softly whisper,
*”You are not the one who lost in this story.”

And just like that
She up and left
She took all she had
And everything that she was
And she disappeared

I think this place became too much for her
There were too many reminders bumping into her on the streets
Too many people who had hurt her
Too many people she had hurt

We all see the spot she used to fill
Looming around us like a tender ghost

I wonder if when she left
She stayed herself
Or if she left so she could become someone new
I like to think that if I found her
I would still know her

I hope that when she left she realized that she was already everything she needed to be
It was just us that didn't know how magnificent she was

You said you wanted to be a part of my world.
But my world has too many demons for someone as beautiful as you.

I laid there
So bare, so vulnerable
I didn't know how to be this way
But then I felt your fingers caressing my skin
Tracing each and every line of my body
Your breath trickling down my neck
And your eyes were a way they had never been before

You're beautiful

You drunkenly whispered to me
Your sweet nose
Touching my ear
And when my shy eyes met yours
I finally understood all the reasons for the scars of my past
And you,
Are worth each one of them

People will tell you not to fight for love
They will say things like "set it free and if it's yours it will come back to you"
Or "if you have to fight for love then it's already over"
And "you deserve better than having to fight for someone who doesn't appreciate you"

But these things are not right
Love knows no boundaries
Sometimes people need to be fought for
Life is distracting and has a tendency of keeping us from listening to our hearts

So fight
Pour your entire soul into reminding them of the love that has been shared between your intertwined souls
And if then
They still don't remember of the magic of your smile
You can let go
And you will not be burdened with any regret
Because you fought
You gave it your all

*And if they are willing to walk away from someone who loves them enough to fight for them
Then they were never ready for your love
And there's nothing wrong with you
The tragedy rests solely on them