Oh sweet friend
I failed you tonight
I don't know how to say I'm sorry
For the feelings we hid in actions
You needed me to be selfless
You needed me to be different
You needed someone to prove to you that life is not the sad, empty space you see it as

But I was none of those things
I saw what I wanted
What I thought I needed
And all I did was take from you
The way everyone has always taken

My heart is so heavy
My brain torn apart
Because I love you so much my dear
But I did not act like it tonight

There is a box
On the top shelf
In the corner of my closet
That I have to climb if I want to reach it

It is filled with everything left over from us

I don't open it anymore
Most weeks go by and I forget it's even there

I hope you're happy
And I hope sometimes you think about me too

We found each other again in my dreams
I guess my heart's still missing you
I still know every detail of your kind face
I know every tone of your soothing voice
I guess my heart just can't give up the hope that we're still meant to be

Time will only tell
If fate will bring you back to me

Maybe one day you will love me
But if not
Please know how thankful I am for your kind eyes and tender heart in my life

Maybe if you'd known
Maybe if you'd realized
The hardest thing for me to ever do was walk away from you
I could not bear the feeling of giving up on someone I loved
Let alone someone I loved as deeply as you
Maybe if you understood the torture that has ensued on my soul over leaving you
You would've never asked me to go

Maybe if I could grasp
Maybe if I could conceptualize
That the only one hurting in this ending is me
Walking away would be the biggest relief

They tell me that I will find him one day
But I've also heard that one day turns into today
So how will I know the difference?
When do I get to tell my heart to stop hoping because someday has passed?

I walked back into the room
Exhausted
Ready to fall apart
And there you were
Simply cleaning
And all of a sudden it occurred to me
That that is how you love
Little acts of kindness
When I'm ready to break down
Not by loud actions
Or soft touches
Just by doing the little things
That never get done
And you do them
Because you love me
And I wonder how
I ever doubted your love before

Take as much air as you can
In one inhale
Then let it go
And try to let everything else go with it
Even for the split second you're exhaling
Just so you can see
Even for a moment
How simply beautiful it is
To live with out all these heavy things
That make breathing so hard

Maybe being this lonely
Isn't a bad thing

Maybe that's what being a poet it all about
The greatest writers were always alone and crazy anyway

I watched one am turn into two am
And then three crept around the corner
That's when I knew I was a poet
Because poets are slaves to the night

Oh restless heart of mine
What must I do
To quench your greedy lips?

Oh anguished soul of mine
What must I do
For you to stop plaguing my helpless mind?

You were a good thing for a wonderful period of time
And then you were a terrible thing for a long period of time

And it was this
Watching you change and our tangled lives slowly unweaving themselves from each other
Which taught me the beginning of the complexities of human beings

I miss you, a lot.
All of the time actually.

Your goofy smile.
The way your cheeks turned red when I caught you singing.
Hearing you call me intelligent before anything else.
How your big, strong body didn't scare me,
I only ever felt safe around you.

I never realized how much I liked you until you left.  
It hits me every time I want to tell I miss you but I don't know if your girlfriend would see.
It's very rare I find myself liking someone,
So I don't have a lot of practice turning off these kind of feelings you left me with.

It's been awhile since we talked and I wonder if this friendship meant anything to you
I know things between us got complicated
And it's probably for the better that we keep our distance

But if you're ever wondering
I miss you, a lot.
And I won't call you,
But if you ever miss me,
I won't hesitate to pick up.