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Even the deepest blue couldn't make you feel as though it's all okay
Strangers arms grasping at your empty bones
Filling the gaps in your soul
Cars racing past the window on dark cold nights
Leaving you silent on grey balconies
The city is busy and you're alone
Smoking your cigarette
Hoping that chemicals will be better than crying
Blasting music and dancing in your skinniest little dress because at least the mirror loves you
Ripping up photos of forgotten memories
Memories that broke you and shattered your heart like a glass piggy bank
Wrapping lonely duvets around your  broken silhouette
Your body curls and your heart races and your senses spike because being alone is horrifying without someone by your side
I love you so -

*"dont lie"
the light seeped through the window and i lay awake with my head on your chest
i watched as the sun rose and cast shadows along the structure of your face
i'd run my fingers along the edge of your cheek bone
and listen as you mumbled sweet nothings in your sleep

sometimes i wondered what secrets you kept in the hallows of your skull
so i'd play with your hair and attempt to sneak my way into the life you'd locked away
sometimes i wondered if those secrets were the reason you became so cynical
and if those secrets were the reason you no longer talked to your father

the sun rose higher and played tricks on your arms
the arms you'd covered in purple and blue bruises
some days i wanted to reach into your skin and pull those blood vessels closed

eventually you'd wake and see me staring again
staring at your questionable eyes
blue, green, brown?
a combination of all three

and the sun would be high in the sky shinning through our window
creating mirages all over the lavender room that matched the spots on your skin
you'd smile and pull me close because your only reaction was to love
love someone else, but not yourself
 Nov 2013 Savannah Charlish
Jay
Here Lies The Teenager:
Somewhere between awkward love making
and suicidal tendencies.
 Nov 2013 Savannah Charlish
Jay
I'm sorry I left, my darling.
I get ****** up in my own
world. Your words have
touched me so, that I haven't stopped
thinking about them,
and how I can't let them be for me
anymore. Your words are
far too precious to be mine
and I do not deserve you.
 Nov 2013 Savannah Charlish
Jay
I miss you.

I miss you so much tonight.

It hurts.

And I don't know why.

I just

always crave

your words.
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