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Oh my love
I am so sorry for how they treat you
I promise to protect you
To love you
To take care of you

I will keep you safe from greedy hands
I will stop their fingers from leaving undeserved marks on your precious skin
I will hold you in my own warmth and adoration because men have only left you cold
I think we almost kissed
I think we almost touched too good
I think we almost got too close to the thing we spend our time pretending isn't there

I think we're almost out of almost's
You and I
Are like
The moon and the sun
We circle in the same atmosphere
Loving the same sphere of life
Yet we never intersect

We are in an enternal rotation that forbids our love and yet we are legends to everyone around us

You shine so bright it's almost blinding but anyone who gets too close, burns
I captivate people with mystery and intrigue and soul but carry untold stories no one on earth could bear to hold

But then there is the rare moment
A brief second where we give into the gravitational pull between our bodies
And the eclipse of our love is something even the galaxies are jealous of
Truth is I have no idea how you are
I've come up with a million versions in my head
I guess I could call you and ask
I mean I used to call you all the time

But we don't talk anymore
And what if you're doing really well?
What will I do then?
If losing me didn't wreck your world
The same way you leaving wrecked mine
Oh sweet friend
I failed you tonight
I don't know how to say I'm sorry
For the feelings we hid in actions
You needed me to be selfless
You needed me to be different
You needed someone to prove to you that life is not the sad, empty space you see it as

But I was none of those things
I saw what I wanted
What I thought I needed
And all I did was take from you
The way everyone has always taken

My heart is so heavy
My brain torn apart
Because I love you so much my dear
But I did not act like it tonight
This is a weird time
The never ending pain of my broken heart left by a careless soul is beginning to reside
I no longer am forcing myself to do things but am remembering the beauty of being swept up in such deep passion that my love for life energizes me through the day
I am laughing more than crying, smiling more than wiping away tears, and chasing the world rather than being crushed by its weight

And there days where I still miss you
And there are nights where I have to go on drives and listen to our songs to feel you in the way my heart yearns
But these moments are few
And now every one ends with a smile
Because while I am thankful for who you were,
I am most thankful for the heartbreak you caused that has made me who I am

It's a weird time
Because I read old poems that perfectly describe the hurricane the last year of my life has been
And my heart sighs in unison with their words
But I also am writing new poems about a new man
And they are full of hope and promise and maybe a happy ending

It's weird
Because I'm watching the end of you
Fade into someone who is more than I could ever imagine
And looking at him
It's not hard to let you go
I am so terribly calculated and impulsive at the same time I am constantly causing my own meltdowns

I'm not sure if patience is a virtue but I am pretty sure good things don't come to those who wait because the early bird gets the worm and there's still movement in slow and steady because you can't win a race if you don't move

My mentality has always been "if you have to think about wanting me then you probably don't deserve me" and I will never wait around for a man to decide whether or not he loves me because he's only wasting both our time



But with you...
Well everything slows down
And the things that I never stop thinking about escape my mind when I sit next to you
And I hate waiting more than anything else in this world
But looking at you and wondering what my hand would feel like in yours and what it would be like to wake up next to you
For the first time in my life
I feel like I found something worth waiting for
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