Savannah Charlish

Savannah Charlish May 2017

I'm not sure I even know what I'm writing anymore

I think I'm just a tool
The middle piece between life and legacy

I watch my hand and hope the words come out in a way that sounds good and maybe helps some people along the way

Savannah Charlish May 2017

Six Years

It's been six years
And one light brush of your finger against mine
And I know exactly what you want
It's been six years and the way you love me is exactly the same

Only in waves of convenience
Only on your designated time

It's been six years
So the sinking feeling in my chest is my fault
Because I am not the woman you loved all that time ago
But you're still the fool who is dumb enough to keep letting me go

But this time I'm letting you go
And I hope when you watch me walk away
You will see what I went through
Every time you forced me to say goodbye to you

Savannah Charlish May 2017

I'll Only Ask Once

I do not ask that you understand my choices
You need not support them
Or agree with them

But please
Do not look so hurt
When I made it clear my dreams
And you refused to get out of the way

Savannah Charlish May 2017

The Last Time

I have been loved a million times over for my body
If that's all you want
Get in line with the rest of the want-to-be men I've rejected in the last year

But if you can see my mind and want that
If you desire deep conversations past our capabilities to understand
If you want someone who knows how to never stop talking
But also knows when holding hands in silence is the most powerful statement of love
Then I will try with you

If you can look at my heart
And see the broken, mismatched pieces
And still want to love and be loved by it
Then I am yours

But if you don't want those things then please,
Do not ever bother me with petty lust not deserving of time

Savannah Charlish May 2017

Before You

Before I met you
I never thought I'd find someone who responds to small questions with large answers
Because you know the little details are important and you want to be honest and not leave anything out

Before I met you
I didn't think someone could listen as well as they talked
You love to listen but I love the sound of your voice
You don't like asking questions and I never can decide on a answer
But you're still the only person I never want to stop talking to
Because you're the only person I know who likes conversations just the way I do

Before I met you
I let men cut corners on things I loved because I thought I loved them
But then you came along
And showed me that all the things I thought I didn't need
Were the things always missing

Savannah Charlish May 2017

Maybe You Didn't Deserve My Love

Maybe I told you too much how much I loved you

I know I spent a lot of time coming of with ways to show you how truly extraordinary I thought you were

I left notes in the pockets of sweatshirts you let me borrow and made sure they always smelled like me when you got them back

I wrote you love letters every time I got angry at you just to remind myself how much I loved you and so you could know that despite my anger you would always win, I'd always chose you

I would hold you as tightly and tenderly as I could when your heart was hurting so that if even just for a moment, your tired bones could rest

I built forts and planned surprises and always said I loved you no matter how much you hurt me

Maybe I was too much
Maybe you got overwhelmed being loved that deeply

But the idea of maybe losing you
And not knowing if you knew how much I loved you
Well the idea of that maybe drove me crazy

Savannah Charlish May 2017

Pain Make Dreams Grow

You can tell where's she's been
For on the pathway that she walks
There is a trail of flowers that follow
Watered by her tears
Pointing toward her dreams