It's been a 100 days
Since I left you that last message

It had to be the end
I could no longer pretend
That I don't feel anything
That you are just a friend

I was too tired and weak
Feelings heavy for my heart so meek
Couldn't reason with it anymore
So just let my heart speak

But I know you don't feel the same
Your empty heart never said my name
My heart was just another of your toys
Baby, you're so good at this hurting game.

The delusions have begun
Random thoughts, day dreams
Every word she spoke
has been etched in my mind,
she commanding her presence
in every thought, every action.
Her voice in my head
Reverberating in my ears
even when she is gone.
Nights have become longer
And the days dizzier.
Nothing interests me, except her thought
She has become the source
of my passion, motivation and creativity.
Its her thought which fuels my actions
I feel so helpless, so captivated
I close my eyes and I see her
Its getting hard with every passing day.
Its like pleasure has disguised itself as pain
If this is love, it is too much for me.
But does she feel the same?
This thought leaves a chill in my bones
Every time she passes by the hallway,
avoiding to look into my eyes.
I know she is the ONE for me.
But this thought appalls me
'Am I the ONE for her'
I wish I am.
I just wish.

There was desolation in the air
Emptiness spreading its wings
Long cold nights and dizzy days
Thoughts rolling in my head,
weighing my neck down,
Breaking my bones one thought at a time.
Dreams had no reflection.
When the 'I' was buried so deep in that maze
of doubts and prejudices
Tried to find answers in the smoke, but in vain.
That was past.
Clouds have cleared now.
The sun is bright.
Thoughts have resurfaced and ideas hover
Ashes have cleared to reveal the fire within.

It was mid -december
the morning  was cold and pale
too hazy to see a thing
even the sun hid behind a white veil.

Walking down the street
remembering good old days
I saw the face of this girl
gliding on the morning haze.

Oh! She was pretty. Her face
radiant unlike the hidden sun
Sitting on that bench alone she
looked like an angel in a white gown.

I said to myself
Is she who I waited for so long?
This is not another of my dreams
Yes,she might be "the one".

I felt determined.
I'm not letting her slip by my hands
She might be the only love of my life
She might be my final chance.

Just then I felt a chill in my bone
It wasnt the morning cold
It was the thought that-
She might belong to another soul.
Maybe she is waiting for him
the love of her life
the man of her dream
Otherwise why would she be alone
Sitting on that bench
and cold as a stone
What if I aint good enough for her
Just another person she met before.

somewhere between these thoughts
our eyes met
before I could say a word,
she got up, smiled at me and.... left.

I stood there still
colder than before
looked like the mist devoured her
she could be seen no more.

Everything turned blue thereafter
what had I done!
missed my chance once again
She might have been "the one".

I sat on the same bench and thought-
what if from these inhibitions I was free
she would be still
sitting by my side smiling at me.
And I would have looked
straight into her eyes without any fears
Would have held her hand
and uttered those three magic words.

From that day everyday
I sit at that same place
waiting for my girl to appear
from somewhere behind the haze.

I feel there is a connection between us
I hope you feel too
That day when you sat beside me
I couldnt speak a word but neither did you
It felt like a thousand words were spoken in the silence
Else why would that gentle smile on your face come through?
I could feel your gaze on me when I looked away
I hope you felt mine too.

But something holds me back
Something pulls me down
There are many words unspoken
Many songs unsung.

But, dont you worry O dear
There will be a day when I come out of this shell
When there will be no regrets or fear
I will look straight into your eyes
And say the words you want to hear.

When your words mean nothing
when you start searching for meaning
when everything is blur and plain
thats when you know you need love.


When the air loses its fragrance
when that bird stops singing
when the sun neither rises nor sets
thats when you know you need love.

when the night is so dark and dull
And there is no moon or stars
when you dont smile or cry
thats when you know u need love.

when your dreams are void
with no meaning, no reflection
music turns into cacophony
when you find rejoice in the smoke.

Your thoughts never see the daylight
Just hidden inside you
like a shackled prisoner
waiting to get the verbal freedom.

Friendships turn into resentment
Happiness turns into fake smiles
Existence turns into despair.
That's when you gotta tell him he needs love.