I can not see anything with the rain clouding up my window.
Vague figures are moving out there so slow.
I am waiting for you to come home.
I know from town to town you have roamed.

The sound of the rain thunders, irritating my ears.
Will you ever make it home to me?
I fear the storm is hampering you on your way.
I hope the wind would drive it away.

Hours pass me by and still you are not in sight.
I start to feel so cold inside.
As the rain is falling harder and unmercifully.
And then, slowly but surely i begin to see it perfectly.

I am running in a swirl of time.
I feel so cold and empty.

I find myself standing in the rain against the storm.
Cold and stiff like an old aging tomb.
Right before me i see you through the window...
You are looking out with such a longing on your face, far away i hear a row.

I am right here....
Can you not see me....
I shout out loud as i walk closer to your window.

Open the door...
Let me in...

You keep staring at the storm...
I know you can not see or hear me...
I see tears running down your face...
As you close the window and hide yourself out of my sight....

*I am here...
Let me in...

When i first saw you i was not who i am.
Nor what i am.
You very slowly turned me into something i was not.
And i embraced the chance of being something new that you offered me.

You were so full of life.
You were so alive.
I felt like a ghost with you around.
I felt like dead.

You peeled off my face and gave me a new one.
I liked it though.
You ripped my heart out because you said i did not need one.
A gaping hole inside me would make me pain resistant.
Nothing would  bring me down if i could not feel, you said.

You were right...

I felt nothing cutting your throat.
I felt nothing ripping your heart out, leaving a gaping hole on your chest.
I felt nothing burying you two and a half feet under.

I feel nothing now.
Nothing.
I stick my fingers reluctantly into the hole where my heart used to be.
Nothing....


Nothing...

The city is to swarm.
When night falls she crawls out of her den to offer her warmth.
To any man who is seeking for substitutional love.
That fits their desire like a glove.

Through cold foggy night she wanders alone.
Fair skin, seductive smile, to becoming a bit shy at first she is prone.
As the night grows darker she is inviting
to enter her private zone.
With her nothing to postpone.

As this polite gentle man comes approaching she smiles seductively.
Dark and cold yet he has got something else surely.
Both dissapearing into the fog.
For her it is just another night of hard slog.

Poor Mary...
Something is going on so scary.
They will find you with your inside awfully exposed hours later.
Torn into tatters.

I found this old black and white photograph.
Of a young handsome man.
Who died almost twenty years ago.
He looks so happy.
Perfect smile.
Beautiful eyes.

He looks so full of life.
Not aware of what is coming his way a few days later.

And suddenly i felt like i had known him.
The way he smiled.
His voice.

He was only 21.
They buried him somewhere i do not know.

But his smile told me a lot.
His eyes shared a lot.

If only i had met him.
If only i had known him.
I could have known how he was like.
I could have felt his warmth.

He's the most beautiful dead man i have ever seen.

i walked myself to his gravestone.
It was old and musty.
His name was curved into it.

I did not know what i felt.
But there's something about this man that had touched me.

I still came back to visit his grave years after.
And one day i stopped coming back
I got married and now have kids.

Many years ago, when i was young....
I fell in love with this man...
This handsome young man...

It's 3.33 AM

I look out the window.
It is snowing outside.

I see you down there.
Standing alone staring back at me.

Your beautiful red hair.
Your heart-shaped face.

I close my eyes and sigh.
Suddenly i realize how much i miss you.

No...
It's not you.
You passed away years ago.

I open my eyes and you're still there.
Now staring at me with such a longing.

I go back to bed.
With such a weird feeling.

I stare at the window.
I know you're still out there.
Whenever i look out again.