absence coupled
with silence
makes this woman's
imagination
run wild

During explosions; during raids
after rapes; after slaughters

the curse needs a b odY
a possession; a sort of doll

as the spectral bots whimper,
infected by the curse,
unbeknownst & innocuously enough
"May god be with ye",
it spreads like ghostly ***
to me
it all seems so
horrific
and gor
-y.

Where can you even summon the audacity
To tell me that lately you have been mad at me
For building up a little bit of self worth in my head
Am I wrong for no longer wishing I was dead?
"I miss the way you used to act,  
So nice, I want the old you back"
The old me? That self hating *******?
Who only was happy on his ***, ****** or plastered?
You don't know what it's like, you **** fool
You've never been afraid of the judgement at school
You've never been called ******, ******, or four eyes
You've never thought of a compliment as more lies
You have no idea how the **** I felt
I beat myself, left bruises, welts
It was middle school, when I found out new ways
Of popping pills in class to get through the days
Well I guess now, sure, i'm popular enough
But I still have that sickening feeling in my guts
The reminder, I was that fat kid that everyone bullied,
Don't ever judge me, you don't ******* know me.

Can we pretend for a bit,
                that every day is a bicycle waltz?

That every day is filled,
                filled with wine and whiskey love.

And skin feels like heaven,
               when no one is watching it touched.

That your body & my body,
               will never grow tired of the endlessness of each other's.

Everyday should be a bicycle waltz,
               With you my dear,
                                      *my immeasurable amount of intangible motion.

Most poets construct fences
Of ambiguous and lofty blabber
To stagger, ambitious eyes
Clamoring for another

Hit line, that drags the body
to the grave and greets
Your mother with
A bird, contrary

To the--traditional wave
And jejune grief

Instead, I'll facet windows
With various cob-web cracks
And baseball mishaps
Till I collapse

A family man, running spandexed and puffing
reaches into the stroller at the crest of the hill
as the day sighs away the last of its dusk
hands a three year old a flashlight
and makes her a secret-wink promise.
You'll move so quickly on your path,
it's your duty to carry a light with you
to keep you and others safe.

A stern man and a hot scratchy washcloth
removing a Spice Girls bubblegum tattoo from
the nose of a seven year old, molecule by molecule.
As soon as you get caught up in superficiality,
that's when you'll make mistakes. Don't make
mistakes that will last.

A medic man returns from a surgery
from a rural village with more kindness than money.
Lays a basket of apples and a banana loaf on the table
in lieu of a cheque and says:
There will be opportunities in your life for
your actions to define the kind of person you are-
always take them-

and never forget your common humanity.

An animal man bursts into the room
with a puppy as new as a sparrow
gamboling, loving, seeking faces and laps.
When choosing your first dog, look for
one that has more loyalty than shrewdness.
Choose your friends that way, too.

A tired man breathes deeply instead of shouting
at the quivering teen and the confession of the bumper
and the scratch that shouldn't have happened.
Hurt softly with the truth.... but never with lies.

A romantic man recounts his history
raising his eyebrows at the score of his frolics
and makes me swear to fall madly in like
with every soul who my heart should kiss-
but Love, reserve Love as the most sacred
of words, deeds, beings. When you Love,
you and he shall become one another,
and be one life.

A sentimental man wears a silver crown
at the head of his dinner table meditating in
silence after the laughs and mayhem of his
family clan have subsided to the fireplace.

He looks at his daughter.
She looks at her father.

The fullness of her adult face
and Polish eyes reflect in his irises
blue inside blue inside blue inside blue-
making any separation between them
redundant, intangible, like-
mirrors facing mirrors-
as the roots of the
Tree run as deep as soul itself
and he murmurs:

*The day you hear the cry of your firstborn child
is the day you discover the meaning of your life-

and nothing will ever, ever be the same.