Written May 9, 2011*

You said that something just didn't make sense.
Said you didn't understand.
I promised. I promised.
I swore this time we'd get it right.
I thought, I prayed
That I could keep it.
Keep my word. Hold it tight.
But again, it crashed.
And as your voice cracked
I could hear.
I could tell you felt as if I'd lied.
I tried.
But couldn't spare your heart.
Above everything else,
That hurt the worst.
And my promises came crumbling down.
Falling apart.

Written January 4, 2011*

I've been lying awake thinking of the days when you were mine.
Was it all a mistake? Was it just a big waste of my time?
But it doesn't matter anymore, because we're over and you are gone.
And now I realize that I was wrong about you.

You are nothing more than a scared little boy.
Does it even matter to you how you look in my eyes?
I spent all this time coming to your defense.
But all of my arguements were worthless.
  
Our whole Relationship was clouded by lies.
Along with my Ignorance, allied you and your great disguise.
Oh congratulations. You had me fooled.
But it turns out that the joke is on you.
I can finally see
That I deserve more
Than you ever gave me.
Even if more means being alone
For as long as it takes,
To again feel whole.

Written December 7, 2010*

I can't get the words from my head to the paper
They're up there, I know it
Just behind locked doors.

I don't need structure
I don't need a **** thesis statement
What I really need
Is Freedom of Expression.

Written October 22, 2010*

I Live to Learn
And that's hard to do with a narrow mind
That's why my eyes are open wide
I don't wanna miss a thing
That this world has to offer
Whether it be karma
Or thy Heavenly Father
Don't bother
I think what I want
No one's gonna tell me who to be
Or what to believe
Have a mind of your own
You gotta think for youself
Don't be blindly following somebody else
And never let others expectations
Overshadow what you choose to believe in
I choose to believe
In the possibility of anything
Of everything
So what does that make me?
An Agnostic? Or just simply weak?
Neither. It makes me Free.

Written October 20, 2010*

Shaking hands and words that never end.
Concentration seems impossible;
Seems so improbable.
At least without my medication.

They say it's all in my head.
I say they can all go to Hell,
And I'll meet them there.
Shaking hands and all.

Written October 19, 2010*

There's a lot on my mind
That I can't seem to find.
Hidden under useless thoughts
I guess...
It's overcrowded, spilling out.
With Everything,
And the things I need to figure out.

Nothing's clear, and what I fear
Is that it's you,
That's stopping me from being who
I really, truly want to be.
Stopping me
From being really, truly at peace.

But that's not something
That I'm willing to admit.
Not just yet, at least.

Written September 19, 2010*

Remind me again, what happiness feels like.
Because I've come to realize,
That I have no idea.
And I don't know when
This all began.
When my whole world started crashing down
Without a sound;
A silent demolition.

And as the dust settles I come to find
That I am all alone on this destruction site.
To clean up the pieces of my fallen world,
And think How in the world
Did I get here?