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Dec 2015 · 625
The Night Alek became Alone
SJ Dec 2015
Darkness is what the young boy awakened to.

It surrounded him making his fear rise

He began to cry out for his mother.

Silence is the only answer he got.

'Where's mama?' The boy thought

He scrambled to get up from his makeshift bed.

On the floor in the kitchen of their Chicago apartment is where they slept.

Always slept in the kitchen because mama said the demons wouldn't get them in the kitchen.

The boy listened in the dark for any sounds to indicate where his mother might be.

Hearing a faucet running from the bathroom sink.

Finding his way out of the kitchen he got out into the hall to find the bathroom light was on.

As he got closer he could hear his mom mumbling. "Mama?" The boy started to open the cracked door wider.

"Stay away boy! Boy. My boy Alek. Away. Go away. Evil beings with daggers say go. Go away." His mother was shrieking again.

He didn't like when his mom got this way. It was happening more and more.

She use to take him out to the park. Out to get get food.

She hadn't taken the boy out in days. He'd been having to go out by himself.

Asking for food from one of the neighbors.

There were papers getting slid under the door daily that read eviction notice.

He kept bringing them to his mom but she kept tearing them up.

He was really scared this time as he gazed at his mama where she crouched in the corner of their small bathroom.

Both the bathtub faucet and the sink faucet were on full blast.

Her hands were over her ears as she muttered about things that the boy couldn't comprehend.

Feeling scared and uncertain the boy went back to the kitchen and got under the blankets.

Covering his head and ears. Trying to block out the sounds coming from the bathroom.

Eventually everything became silent.

The silence bothered the boy more than anything.

Shaking, he arose once again and made his way to the bathroom.

He could hear the water still running, but his mom had gone silent.

Fear settled around the boy like a old friend, making his trembling worse.

He knew something wasn't right.

Nothing ever was right.

But now he knew for certain that something bad had happend.

Dread hung heavy in the air as the boy stepped into the cramped bathroom, his feet wet with water.

That was the first thing the young boy saw. It was gushing out of the tub.

Out of the sink. Running out of the tiled bathroom floor to the hall.

He rushed over to the bathtub to try and turn the nozzle off like he had seen his mama do before.

His tiny hand slipped at first, not able to firmly grasp the nozzle.

Eventually he grasped it and turned it till the faucet gave one last gurgle and drip before finally shutting off.

Then he ran over to the sink where he saw his mom's shirt was stuffed into the drain.

Preventing the water from going down. He removed it before shutting off the sink.

His mama had done this before. She always said the dark man wants the water. He never knew what she meant.

Couldn't understand the dark man was in her mind.

That she was in desperate need of help.

But nobody around these parts got help when it came to mental illness. Not if you didn't have any family.

And the woman only had her young son.

Who was currently crying and screaming at what he had found.

His mom crouched over in the corner, not making a sound

Bloodied wrists. A razor blade lay near.

Sickening to think that maybe if someone cared she could've gotten help

But that was not the Fate of the woman who only had her son.

Instead she took an out, leaving the young boy with no one.
Dec 2015 · 315
Take my Body
SJ Dec 2015
Take me
Take my body
Let me slip
Fall from his grasp
Hide me please
A place unknown
Don't let him near
All I want
Is for you to listen
Hear my silent pleas
Save me from the man
The man I loved
The man who shouldn't be
All I need is to be saved
So I can be free
So take me
Take my body
Dec 2015 · 322
Dont leave me alone
SJ Dec 2015
I found you that day
Or was it the other way
Around
Round, you spun me in circles
I'm still dizzy from the
Fall
Fell hard, the impact shattered me
Disrupted my firm
Belief
Believed my heart was his
But I didnt actually hear the
Beat
Beating out of my chest when I saw you
How can I love him but I want
You
You're so confusing to my binded heart
I need you and for some reason I can't bare  to
Part
Depart from the tangled mess my heart got itself into to
I keep asking myself how do I
Choose?
Choice isn't mine really
See its also up to you to decide what you
Want
Wanting and needing are two different things
I want to fix him, but I need to fix you, the one who left me
Wrecked
Wreck my senses, not sure what to do
Need a second opinion fore I fear of making a
Mistake
Mistaken and Ending up with no one
Not you or him, just me
Alone
Dec 2015 · 339
Lust
SJ Dec 2015
Hair lays perfectly on shoulders so thin
Mirror reflects a beauty that is pure sin
Plump lips are painted a dark red
Air thick with words unsaid
Flushed as hands touch the skin
Moon doesn't dare shine as it begins
Body trembling begging for this hunger to be fed
Earth quaking for what lay ahead
Dancing in a brutal manner, a wicked end
Passionate for this hate. It's something that one cannot mend
Laying down on that bed of roses, flinching as they bled
If this was anybody else they'd have fled
One cannot simply leave an exotic flower
Deep ocean eyes that got more appealing with every passing hour
Resisting the pull is harder said than done
Sin had never looked more fun
Hair layed perfectly on shoulders so thin
Don't shy away, Dark Fate
Let me in
Dec 2015 · 339
Don't Judge Me
SJ Dec 2015
Seeing him smile at me

Was a reminder to you who I was before

Before I met you and turned my life around

When I was running in circles

Screaming

In reality I never made a sound

Nobody noticed my broken pleas

Then you came along and saved me

Now as he looks at me with hunger in his eyes

You turn and look at me

I can see your disgust

Please don't judge me

My past is dark

Filled with poor choices and misguided hearts

You knew that going in

Saw my open wounds

I told you I had sins

Now that they're coming to light

Your reactions aren't matching up with the promises you made

Said you'd want me no matter my past

Prove it now

Make us last

So don't judge me

I wouldn't dream of judging you

Let our love move forward

Not in reverse

Love me for who I am now

Not who I was then

Help me make up for my sin
Dec 2015 · 480
I Can't Wait To Hate You
SJ Dec 2015
We don't have to have this silent battle  

I would rather forget you

Step into my mind and you'll see all the things you put me through

Your memory has left me shackled

Pictures haunt me as you stare at me with love

Said you'd never leave me even when push comes to shove

Looking around this empty room reminds me of your lies

I can't wait to wake up one day to despise your memory

Hate you for everything you never did for
me

Today's not the day though, tommorrow won't be either

My heart still wants you

Even though you were anything but true

One day though I will arise from a nightmare

Dark dreams will be of your memory

I will feel nothing but hate and in that moment I'll be free
Dec 2015 · 320
Angel that Saved me
SJ Dec 2015
Missing you
someone I barely knew
Walking that dark path
You walked it too
I was forever sinking to a place where the sinners go
Trying to hold on and not fall between the cracks in that broken road
Hearing voices screaming at me to not stray from my path
Thought you were a lost soul like me till the moment we crashed
Came running at me so suddenly in full speed
Felsh and golden eyes
That was the first moment I noticed your wings
Shaking me urgently pointing upward
I tried to tell you to speak in words
Your lips moved to speak but I could barely hear
Your mouth would open and the voices would scream out in fear
You reached out and took my hand holding it up so that I could see
My flesh was rotting like my soul
I was slowly losing the real me
I looked up in fear to gaze into your eyes once again
This time I heard the words you said
Your voice was something unique
Reached into my dark soul and comforted me
Spoke of turning away from my path
I cried and said there was no going back
You said, "Take my hand and I'll teach you to soar."
"I can't stand to fly." I yelled and started to cry more
Dropping to the ground and screaming out in inner pain
I felt the broken earth quake
Looking up slightly I saw your golden eyes wet like rain from the sky
Tears of the angel cried for someone as weak as I
Kneeling beside where I had dropped to my knees
Reached out with a swoosh of your wings
Consumed in a feeling that I had never experienced
Watching glimpses of all my past sins
Tears still falling freely as I begged for amends
Gasping as a booming voice yelled, "Your Forgiven!"
Released me so suddenly from your hold
When I opened my eyes I didn't see the eyes that were so gold
No broken path before me
I was where I once was before I lost the ability to see clearly
Strayed so far from what was right
You saved me from an eternity of no sight
I miss you in my weakest moments when I have the urge to give in
Picturing your eyes helps me to resist to not give into my past sins
Nov 2015 · 261
Taken by the storm
SJ Nov 2015
Where did he go? Once was here and so close
Then all of a sudden he was called home
Rain splattered on the concrete that night
Masking my tears from sight
Sobs were lost in the howling wind
Storm of sorrow reminded that he wouldn't be back again
How does a bright day get consumed in darkness so quickly?
From happiness to sorrow, it surrounded me so swiftly
The Lord decided it was time for you to leave
Now im left here with a soul that is no longer complete
Sometimes when the storm fully surrounds me
I wish to just give in and end my misery
To be called home into your arms where it's warm
Saved from my sorrow so I'd no longer have to mourn
Memories of you haunt me everyday
I'm so tired of never seeing color, only a bitter grey
Before you helped me to look at the world vividly with open eyes
Now I try to look but what I see I can't help to despise
Everything you once showed me to love
Was taken from me when you were called above
Maybe one day I'll be able to look past this grief that leaves me broken and torn
I just wish I could stop time, rewind, and  go back to save you before the storm
Nov 2015 · 430
Summer Heat
SJ Nov 2015
Two bodies never felt so close as the night air seduced us into a ****** trance

Urging us to give into our deepest need
Begging us to do a sensual dance

Hot and thick the summer heat added fuel to our fire

Sweat dripping off of our bodies as we gave into the desire

Stripped me bare right there where anybody could see

Whispering naughty words that would make the old me flee

Something about the night, the thick summer heat

The way the moon was glistening, never had I wanted more to feel complete

Laying down on the cool ground

Our needy heart beats were the only sound

Nothing else mattered in that moment, everything else was drowned out

Touched me gently where I held all the heat and I tried desperatly not to shout

Bending down to ******* heat with your mouth, claiming the need to explore

I screamed as you continued to **** sweet honey and begged for more

The summer had never meant so much to me

When you stopped your exploring and finally made us complete

Thighs tickled as you slid in between

Breaths mingled as we finally fulfilled our need

That night we came together not caring if we were seen

Wrapped up in desire that surrounded us like the summer heat
Nov 2015 · 235
The Woman Who Loved Me
SJ Nov 2015
Her innocence caught a wild heart off guard
Stealing my breath as I tried to resist not to fall too hard
Her optimistic view of the world was everything unknown
The darkness in me needed her to take a glimpse of the world I had been shown
The untainted part of my mind screamed for me to stay away
Steady beat of my once quiet heart wouldn't let reason have the final say
She was everything I'd never been
I was her passage way into the world of sin
Untouched so far but a few scratches here and there from trying to fit into today's society
I had already clawed and fought my way to where I wanted to be
Beauty is something I would've called her then
Now I value her more than I ever did
She was everything I didn't know I needed at the time
The faint beat grew more steady with each day I continued to call her mine
There came a night when cold and smoke surrounded me
Looking into my window I saw my angel asleep
I felt my heart swell with an emotion that seemed to be more than I could take
Frightened the side of me that was still consumed in past mistakes
She slept so soundly as I crept back in quietly with the plan to get away
Gathered up my stuff and ignored the sound of something in me shattering as I left her there to lay
Cold was all I felt walking away from her
Time is something I now wish I could reverse
I would go back in and stay inside
Wrap my arms around her and vow to never leave her behind
In the past I had carried myself proudly and seemed so sure
Who knew i'd be brought to my knees by someone so innocent and pure
Only my stubbornness kept me from returning that night
By the time I had realized my mistake she had dissapeared from my sight
I search for her even now
The girl who made my heart beat loud
It's a unsteady sound without her near
She needs to be found so that she could hear
Love that radiates within my soul for only her
Need to find her and make things right with my world
Now that she's gone my arrogance faded and allowed me to admit that I had been blind
My fear ruined me for the girl that was suppose to be mine
Nov 2015 · 232
The man I loved
SJ Nov 2015
His recklessness was something that drew me in
Wrecked my senses, falling deeper once again
He was everything that was bad for my sanity
He very quickly became a everyday fix in my reality
Arrogance had never suited one so handsomely
The dark creature carried himself with more than just authority
Respect was something he always received
Never had to cower or bow to anybody
Not like me having to bleed and claw my way through life
He had already earned his right
Already had bled to get that he had received
Worked hard everyday to succeed
When we first me he would smile at me, a cheshire cat grin
Telling me how to never look back on your past sins
Fearless was what this man was
Afraid of nothing but to Love
Which I found out eventually on a late spring day
When I woke up to a empty room with nothing left but a cigarette bud in the ash tray
I couldn't seem to regret loving the man
For somewhere deep in my mind I had always knew his plan
He grew up in a place that would make even the devil shudder
It only made sense that he wouldn't know how to deal with a true lover
Only knowing sin and people who had betrayed his trust
My lover only really knew of lust
He was born in a world well the good leave
Where you tell white lies with the intention to deceive
Angry I am cause I know that his memory won't fade
As I gather up what is left and exit the place where our love was made
Deceive me he did in more ways than one
So goodbye my Lover I guess our time is done
Nov 2015 · 846
Mama Left
SJ Nov 2015
She lay so still and silent right next to me

Mama laid on her bed made of straw unmoving
Mama stayed quiet as I asked her to speak
Mama didn't acknowledged my presence
Mama had bruises that were faded all over her pale skin
Mama freed herself of papa's blows
Mama did leave me all alone
Mama looked so lonely in her red stained gown
Mama stinked up the barn as she continued to lay
Mama had her hands wrapped tightly around the dagger in her chest
Mama finally moved when strange men carried her out of this place
Mama wasn't here when the strangers came again
Mama didn't see them take me away from papa and his fists
Mama wouldn't know I was angry that she left
Mama couldn't see me crying over her memory
Mama needs to know that I think of her everyday  
Mama wanted to be put out of misery
Mama thought she had no choice but to leave me

Now I see all she wanted was to be free
This is a really old one. It was written probably sophomore year in highschool. :)
Nov 2015 · 388
I Found Her Broken
SJ Nov 2015
With a blink of her eyes I felt naked waiting to see
What she had hidden in her gaze
Her secrets were my need
Since the first tear she had shed with a blush of shame
My obsession became to find the source
Find who caused all the pain
Beautiful ocean eyes shouldn't seem so gray
I ache to bring her back into the light
But something seems to be getting in the way
How am I to love her fully if she won't let me in?
Trying so hard to break the walls
Will our love ever really begin?
Desperate I will continue to wait
Needing to find a place in her heart
Praying that I'm not too late
Though the pain in her eyes still remains unspoken
Staying silent instead of being open
I will stay loving her even when she's broken
Nov 2015 · 348
Sleepless night
SJ Nov 2015
Tossing and turning
I can't seem to find peace
The silence once again caused me to lose sleep
No noise to drown out my dark thoughts
How am I to get rest if my mind refuses to quiet
Forever thinking so it seems
All I want is to be taken by dreams
Slip into the sweet abyss of unconsciousness
Escape my reality that is slowly killing me
Forget for awhile that the world is a dangerous place
My mind is still awake
What is another night of hardly any sleep
Too many in a row to count
Soon exhaustion won't give my brain a choice
My body will fall under on its own accord
Too weak to keep up the battle with my mind
Then finally I will rest for awhile
But once I awake the process will repeat
Then several more days will go by until I  sleep
Nov 2015 · 320
The Tragedy of Us
SJ Nov 2015
If I were to sit you down and admit to all the times I wished you were him

Would you admit to feeling the same?

Would you say that you wished that I was her?

If only this life had brought us together in a different way

Then maybe we'd be together

I'd save you from yourself

You'd save me from becoming somebody else

If I truly wanted you to rescue me from my mistakes

Could you?

Would you leave her to come help me?

The answer is one we already know

You would.

I know this with all that I am

Some hearts our drawn together

Even when they shouldn't be

Unable to resist the tug of the rope that holds their souls together

Combining them as one

Like a any tragedy where love is conquered by the reality of everyday life

We'll never be able to prove our love to each other

Too many road blocks stand in our way

Walls that we are incapable of tearing down

But if you could whisper the three words  before you disappear

At least I'd know

That if things were different our love would rise above
Nov 2015 · 274
Moving forward
SJ Nov 2015
You have been lurking in the shadows of sorrow

So full of pain

Shadows reached out fingers of death

Clawing at your despair

Dragging you down the path that is often taken

At the end burns an icy hell

Somehow you turned that darkness into light

You conquered so much, and you continue to move forward

Leaving the dark past behind

At times you hear your old sins calling your name

Ignore the temptation

What is the point of moving forward

If you only plan to give in

Everyday you will want to go back to the familiar

Remember that this path is for the better

Never turn back

When you do it will be worse than before

Will be harder to stay true

You will succeed if you focus on the now

Accomplish your goals

Don't ever turn back down the path of sin

Sorrow only wins when you give in
Nov 2015 · 585
Red wine and Coors Light
SJ Nov 2015
Red wine and Coors Light
Reminds me of a time
Where happiness was scarce and unknown
A time where in a group I still felt alone
Empty cans and bottles scattered our floor
Bitter words, sour smell added to the wicked allure
Yells and fists became a everyday routine
Tears hidden as I choked on my screams
Mama favored the wine the way it helped relive her pain
He favored beer the way it made reality fade
I suppose sometimes the haze may help to unwind
As long as you don't abuse it all the time
Some just can't stop when they feel the buzz, can't resist the pull
But continue to drink even when full
My own worse enemy were my little feet and puny hands
Not strong enough to save her from that wicked man
So small and unable to help
Can't imagine the pain I felt
Grew strong and escaped the darkness and pain
Left her there with the man who she refused to blame
If you ever loved me
You'd set the devil free
But she couldn't
My heart knew she wouldn't
Stayed with him for years
Through all the tears
Always thinking of his happiness, never mine
That's what I remember when I see red wine and coors light
Nov 2015 · 180
Untitled
SJ Nov 2015
It's not sleeping like a dead man that terrifies me
Its waking up to remember that I am one
One of my residents said this to me the other day. It really stuck with me.
Nov 2015 · 598
Moving on
SJ Nov 2015
Hardly enough time to write
Put down in words how I feel inside
Lonely and confused
Sore and tired of getting bruised
Not on the skin
But somewhere deep within
I have felt myself slowly withdrawing
Begging my inner voice to ignore the final calling
Saying take a deep breath and forget the girl
How can I do that if she was my world
Only concern was her for such a long time
Now she's gone and I can't seem to unwind
Myself from the tangled mess she made of my heart
I need to move on, but instead I'm falling apart
Nov 2015 · 365
Judgment
SJ Nov 2015
Hide away what you are

Never show the world your scars

For all they do is judge

All they know is the word love

They don't know the meaning behind the word

Don't understand that all you want is to be heard

Don't listen to find out why we're broken and confused

So why love when people are counting on you to lose

I'd rather trust what I know

A blade that is real and the blood that flows

You know what...Judge me please for I live in pain

Go on... Tell me that what I do is vain

So next time I answer the call of the blade

I'll cut straight and then I'll fade

(Must you take what they say to heart
Making any excuse to rip my world apart
Do you think you mean so little to me?
To think that I don't hurt each time I see you bleed
I need you to realize that everybody struggles with pain
Your not the only one struggling to stay sane
What is the point of our life blood?
If your going to waste it everytime you feel judged
What does it matter what other people think, it is your body, soul, your voice
At the end of the day, may it be your last or not, you have always had a choice)
So this is a old one I found in my journal the other day :p :)
Nov 2015 · 338
Lost
SJ Nov 2015
Here is the soil where he kneeled making my heart do flips

A ring in his hand and a promise on his lips

So young and pure were we

Full of passion, how we felt so free

I said Yes, he said forever

My love was a dreamer, niavie but clever

Bombs did strike, men left

Mine followed suit with the promise on his breath

Sometimes promises prove to be moot, unable to be kept

Not every wish can be met

He was lost, a victim of the cause

One of many, there wasn't even a pause

Fighting continued, my heart did weep

When it was over I thought of the promise that he could not keep

Nothing to be done but to live

My life went on but I had no love to give

Heart was lost with him overseas

As I stand where he had kneeled, I feel him on the breeze

My love, so far away

I can not let go, so with me you stay
Nov 2015 · 335
Agony
SJ Nov 2015
Pull me to my knees with your unexpected blows
Stealing my breath before I scream so nobody knows
You make everything hurt and bleed
Bounding my soul refusing to let me be freed
I need a out but I know there is no point for me to live
I have tried, I have failed, and I have nothing left to give
You remind me of that everyday
Tearing at my lost soul refusing to stray
I try to get back up with a tired breath
Another blow reminds me that I have nothing left
I have failed hopelessly, bye my sweet eternity
You remind me that I belong to this agony
Nov 2015 · 270
To the Liar
SJ Nov 2015
Tell me you want me behind Closed doors
To the world though I'm known as the town *****
Say you'd be crazy to claim me in front of the public eye
I say if you didn't want me then all you told me were lies
I'm not someone who is ashamed of my past
If you had a problem why did you play it like you wanted us to last
So I'm a little young, you knew that going in
Stop acting like I'm the only one who made all the sins
You didn't have to come to me at night
Whispering sweet nothings, crawling between my thighs
Take your lies before I rip out your heart
Skin you and stuff you, display you like art
Nov 2015 · 1.7k
Forever Mad
SJ Nov 2015
One
Two
Four?
Hmm..

(Three silly
You’re mad)

Mad I am
Mad I'll stay
Trapped in my mind
Never to stray

(Don't you get lonely?)

No my dear
Don't you hear?

(Hear what?)

Voices all around
So much sound!
Never lonely
No not I

(Speak the truth mister)

Oh I never lie
Truth is as truth does

(What does it do?)

Well it lies of course
Nov 2015 · 284
Goodbye
SJ Nov 2015
The night air had never made me feel so lonely

Walking this path without my one and only

Hand in hand we use to stroll so carefree

Now the quiet reminds the soul that it's only me

Cold wraps around me, seeping into my bones

Hope it would numb me so I wouldn't feel so alone

They say after your love passes you can feel them near

But I'd be warm and happy if you were here

Snow covers my loose hair, tickling my ears

The night is so quiet, awakening my fears

Giving me time to think of what use to be

Can't even take a walk to be free of your memory

Everywhere I turn something reminds me of the past

Your impacted my heart so much I'm afraid the pain will last

Snowflakes all around making the pathway to our spot a white dream

Remember how in the summer we'd run until we got to the stream

We'd strip bare and jump in

Not worrying about anything, not knowing this all would end

I lay down now letting cold surround me and closing my eyes

Spreading my arms, making a angel and pretending to fly

How I want to fly to you

I want all that we had wanted to come true

Go back in time and save you from yourself

So stubborn, you always refused help

One more weak swipe of the arms, I stop my wings

I try to listen closely to hear if the angels will sing

Sorrowful tune for the emptiness I feel inside

I need to start accepting, all I seem to do is hide

Shaky breath I stand up and tilt my head up toward the sky

With a quiet whisper I send you a goodbye
Nov 2015 · 350
Drip drop
SJ Nov 2015
Drip
My blood
Drip
Runs freely
Drip
From the wound
Drip
In my chest
Drip
Split open by Love
Drip
Took what he wanted
Drip
Then left me broken
Drip
Promised to catch me
Drip
Then let me fall
Drop
Nov 2015 · 351
Fiery Loss
SJ Nov 2015
Tendrils of smoke fill the air

Warning all of what is near

Refusing to be put at peace

The flames will not cease

Coughing up ash and dirt

Struggling to breathe as my lungs hurt

I hear crys of many all around

I search blindly, crawling on the ground

Heat did scorch my skin

Wondering how one could commit such a sin

Who would want to destroy a home

The wind stirs up the flames with its wicked moan

No sign of dying down anytime soon

The howl of wood collapsing is such sobering tune

The men in red pour water but the flames refuse to relent

Watching in a daze as my home collapses before my eyes

Refuse to listen as the rescuers tell me lies

"Everything will be fine." They say trying to calm me

Rubbing the soot out of my eyes so I can see

Made it out alive, but not unharmed

I will live, but baring scars
Nov 2015 · 339
Untitled
SJ Nov 2015
Peek a boo. Yes it's me

Oh you thought I would leave

Thought I'd back down?

Whatcha think I forgot to breathe

Losing isn't in my vocabulary

Plus all your lies was causing me to be weary

I grew tired of the *******, time to meet the new Carrie

Stephen King stepped aside, ***** I'm the new scary

Better run and hide back under your covers

The things I plan to do to you make the devil shudder
Nov 2015 · 354
Tyrant
SJ Nov 2015
Hear my words; Listen to me,

We are nothing if not free

You think you know what hand I've been dealt

You cannot understand the shame I have felt

Treating people as if they were rats

Stepping on their pride like they are floor mats

Play with our emotions, push us around

Bringing us one step closer to the burial ground

Enjoy our shame, Laughing at our pain

All our hard work was done in vain

Release us from our bonds, the rope has left a burn

Tired of being chained to a cause that makes our stomachs churn

You lured us in with false security, speaking nothing but lies

We once loved you, now we despise

You have turned into a Tyrant

Us, the people, our slowly turning defiant

Tired of our chains, We come together to destroy, to win

Say goodbye to your throne, time to pay for your sin
Nov 2015 · 918
The Barn
SJ Nov 2015
They lived up on a hill

In an old farm house along side the old wind mill

Out front was the old barn that leaned slightly to one side

It had been used for many years and filled the owners with pride

On the farm the family continued to stay

The mother and two sons living peacefully day after day

Then came a time when the mother grew sick

All gathered around the bed as the final clock began to tick

She passed away leaving the sons all alone

They continued to live but the farm no longer felt like home

Espically to the one son that was called Sam

He withdrew into himself and became just a shadow of a man

On the outside everything seemed fine

No one suspected that Sam was running out of time

Not even the other son, John, who worked the farm alongside him

So it came as a shock when Sam committed the ultimate sin

In that barn on the hill

A man entered and time stood still

Sam told John he was doing a chore and smiled as he went to the barn

A shot rang out that awoke the many sleeping animals on the farm

What to do when you enter the place that you knew so well

Only to find that your brother lays with a gun and an empty shotgun shell

What a sight to see that early in the morning

The heavens did weep as the rain started pouring

Mourning the loss of another so soon

As the wind whistled a sorrowful tune

So a few months after he had buried his mother

John had to keep it together so he could bury his brother

Staying strong as the world falls apart

Keeping their memories close to his heart

Yet he couldn't stand to stay

So he moved to get away

Now the barn on the hill stands empty along with the rest of the farm

An abandoned home ruined by death and self harm
Nov 2015 · 969
The fiddle
SJ Nov 2015
There was a boy who had to learn very young how to fend for himself

Fore his family never cared enough to remember to put food on the shelf

The streets can be harsh for one so little

But this boy learned quickly and so he gathered enough coin to purchase a fiddle

Sitting on the street corner everyday

The boy would place his coin plate and then he'd begin to play

At first the crowd was small

But soon the boys song began to lure all

The plate grew heavy with many of coin and his belly was always full

But good fortune can only last so long when you live under the Devils rule

His parents grew envious of the boys coin and fiddle so one day the boy left to go play

He returned to find his fiddle broken and pieces thrown every which way

His plate of coin was in his father's hand

He said 'boy you do not need this much coin, these riches are meant for a man'

The boy could do nothing fore he was too small

So the next day came and the people waited for the fiddles call

They began to protest when the boy did not show

Marching to the boys house refusing to go

The father came out and said there was no more fiddle

Then the boy stepped out with his chin held high trying to not look so little

The crowd began to cheer when they heard the familiar song

The boy held his mended fiddle proudly as the crowd began to sway along

Out from the crowd stepped a old woman who had sold the fiddle to the boy when she saw he was in need

Then he brought her the broken fiddle and she gave him a new one with the promise that he'd be freed

The woman stepped up and took the boys hand

She looked at the father and told him to get off her land

The old woman, not known to the boys parents, owned the town and would not tolerate this type of sin

So she had the boys admirers run them off and then she banished the boys torturers from ever returning again
Nov 2015 · 272
My Heart
SJ Nov 2015
A vision stills my breath

My body aches

Everything dims out of focus

My only sight is of you

Feeling close to the edge

Take a leap of faith

Fall

You refuse to catch me

Smirking as I break

My weakness is him

He's the only one

Who can lend me strength

Stubborn becomes you love

Ignore your heart

I'll sit here broken

Watch as I fall apart

But when I gain the strength to stand on my feet

I'm heading your way

I will not bow down to you

If you don't return my love

I become your enemy

So take my heart

It's all yours

But I won't let you forget my Love

That's for **** sure
Nov 2015 · 608
Untitled
SJ Nov 2015
Me and my desperate lies
All because I choose to hide the truth with a lie

(You hide what you feel with your lies
But If I look deep enough I can hear your cries
Trapped within your thoughts refusing help from all who sees
I will stay by your side until the darkness flees
I won't abandon you even when you tell me to leave
For the truth is I need you just as much as I hope you need me)

Our need what a dangerous thing
Because without a whim or wish we do refrain
I need to be helped, I need to breathe
Because if I don't in these emotions I do seethe
I wish I may I wish I might
Take away your pain tonight
With my desperate pleading cries
That I do hide inside
My wishes and hopes that I wish to achieve
Are simply that but I hope to be
I feel as if I'm tearing apart at the seams
But sadly no one notices but me

(No one notices you?
But I notice everything you do
What you hold back, don't say
I hear your cries clear as day
I know how you feel at night
Wanting answers, wanting to make everything right
I won't let you be alone
My grip on you is tight, and I don't believe in letting you go)

But how do you save someone who's done
Who feels they're already as good as gone

(You love them more than ever before
Love them till even the thought of leaving makes their heart sore)
Nov 2015 · 342
Then I found whiskey
SJ Nov 2015
I've been weary of my heart

Turning a blind eye at chance

Letting the bottle rule my life

Take away the pain that burns

Stings more than the liquid that aims to ****

Do I care if this ends?

Only wish to fade away

Depart from memories that cause the ache

My sinning is not helping to numb

I can't forget her smile even in my drunken haze

Want the memory of her pain gone

Bottle why won't you help?

Erase the love, my need, my greatest want

Drink. Waste away

Fill my bloodstream with your toxins

I'll close my eyes one more time

Picturing her behind closed lids

Here comes the pain

Take a sip

One more

Drink till the end

Make me forget

Drink

Who was she that tempted me?

My memory is blank, my heart is empty
Nov 2015 · 347
Finding Home
SJ Nov 2015
There she sits, all alone

All she needs is a home

There she cries on the ground

All she wants is to be found

There she runs, away from here

All she feels is fear

There she screams "Find me!"

All she craves is to be free

There he kneels looking for a sign

All he needs is more time

There he sobs into the pillow

All he wants is to not feel so hollow

There he yells "I see you!"

All he craves is for this sight to be true

There she sits, an angel all alone

All he sees is her, his home

There they stand together

All they need is each other, forever
Nov 2015 · 233
Nothing
SJ Nov 2015
I am nothing

As you look at me now

I breathe; I scream; I cry; I feel

But all this is an illusion for what I truly am

What I'll never overcome

I am nothing

I'll never truly be seen

You say you care? Maybe you do

Even so I'm not worth the thought

I know what I am

What I'm worth

This life has left my conscious in the dirt

Soon I'll be in the ground

I'll be forgotten

Sure you might miss me for a while

But soon I'll fade away from your mind

Once again I'll be what I once was

What I'll always be

Nothing special for all to see

For all to forget
Nov 2015 · 270
My trap
SJ Nov 2015
Lure you in with a false promise

I swear to always be honest

Never leave you behind

Oh Darling, you'll learn im anything but kind

Say one thing, I'll do the other

If there was a next time you'd be careful when choosing a lover

I'm agony disguised as lust

Oh love, if only you'd been wise when deciding who to trust

Now come to me my one and only

A white lie won't hurt the lonely

By the time I finish my game

You will know nothing but pain

Manipulative is what they call me

They say that woman is just in it for money

It's not true my love. I'm in it for you

I bring companionship and a promise to stay true

Promise is for a short time

But still it brings you peace of mind

As I watch you smile at me and begin to tire

I smile back then light the match to my fire

As I watch smoke fill the air I feel no shame

Oh how I enjoy playing the husband game

Walking away with my winnings and a map

I send thanks to the devil for helping with my trap
Nov 2015 · 254
Moving forward
SJ Nov 2015
You have been lurking in the shadows of sorrow

So full of pain

Shadows reached out fingers of death

Clawing at your despair

Dragging you down the path that is often taken

At the end burns an icy hell

Somehow you turned that darkness into light

You conquered so much, and you continue to move forward

Leaving the dark past behind

At times you hear your old sins calling your name

Ignore the temptation

What is the point of moving forward

If you only plan to give in

Everyday you will want to go back to the familiar

Remember that this path is for the better

Never turn back

When you do it will be worse than before

Will be harder to stay true

You will succeed if you focus on the now

Accomplish your goals

Don't ever turn back down the path of sin

Sorrow only wins when you give in
Nov 2015 · 350
Cloud Dancing
SJ Nov 2015
Dance with me, Lift me high

Make my legs weak, Caress my inner thigh

Touch my Lips, Press against yours

Never have I wanted more

Eyes stare into my soul

Connection runs deep, Never grows old

In the past life I know we did this dance before

For a night; For decades; For forever more

Two bodies meet, Collide in a sensual dance

As heat filled the air, and Love decided to take a chance
Nov 2015 · 393
Fever
SJ Nov 2015
In the depths of my mind I feel him near

My body heats up with thoughts unclear

Feeling the anticipation of what I need to be done

The heat is unbearable as I try not to succumb

I wont try on my own to make the ache cease

Without him here I know I'll never find release

Trying to fight the heat I clench my thighs

Taking deep breaths to hold in my fevered  cries

I feel him close as I'm blinded by lust

Help me find release before I combust
Nov 2015 · 320
Lost Lover
SJ Nov 2015
You are my sin

The reason I will never transcend

Never achieve my dreams

Stuck with my weakness and your schemes

Always was ***** whenever you were near

How could I be clean with you here?

Tainted me long ago

Your touch is all I know

Crave what you can give

It's as though your the reason I live

The man who is nice and wants me

I cannot tell him that your all I see

Always comes back to you once I fall

Im never able to have it all

Seep into my concious when I think everything is going fine

Reminding me bitterly that my heart isn't mine

You had a hold of me then, still won't let me be

My lost lover will always be my most fatal tragedy
Nov 2015 · 227
Haunted by Memories
SJ Nov 2015
I had a dream where you didn't leave

Held you close, tight, right next to me

Your eyes did shine and my heart wasn't sore

Looking at me with love like you did before

Told me you'd be here till the end of time

Kissing you close not recognizing a lie

Go
Just go
Fade away like this dream
Nothing is ever what it seems
We will never be

When I wake reality is harsh to a dreamer

Dose of cold air delivered by a schemer

Showed me the side of him that made me fall

Left me with the side of him he never showed at all

Though he's gone, he stays

Showing up in my dreams day after day

Go
Just go
Fade away from my mind
If only I could turn back time
Then you'd be mine

I need you gone, need you to leave

For once I just beg for peace

Stop smiling at me at night

Just stop making my heart want something that isn't right

It's unhealthy to ache for something that can't be fixed

Tired of missing someone that shouldn't be missed

So go
Please go
Fade away from my heart
I can't take this constant reminder that we are apart
I need a new start
Nov 2015 · 402
Breaking Point
SJ Nov 2015
There was a time I held it in

Sinking to the bottom of the dark abyss

Where ones thoughts take over rationality

Madness becomes your mentality

Never did I speak my mind

Not once did I complain when I was left behind

Then he came along and took me in

At the time I didn't recognize him as the Devils kin

Eventually his true self came to be shown

By that time I was too invested in the man that I had known

Sitting there day after day in silent agony

Eventually sanity turns into brutality

Sadness turns to anger and judgement is clouded

Blinded from what you once believed your sanity becomes shrouded

Bruises did cover my skin

Torturing myself by holding it in

Why couldn't I say what was on my mind

It's not like I was alone or didn't have time

I'm sure your thinking it was because I was afraid

You'd be wrong. My silence was all about self hate

Sure I hated him. But mostly I hated me

And as time went on I grew to hate everybody

Be a good girl put everything in its place

I'd smile and put on my false happy face

Then there came a night

Quiet and peaceful the stars were shinning bright

He came looking for me

Interrupting my first moment of peace

It was like time stood still when he raised his voice

Realization hit me that I have a choice

Something in me snapped when he raised his fist

My vision became clouded by a red mist

Taking the punishment I stayed silent like I'd been doing all my life

But this time when night fell I slipped into bed holding a knife

I couldn't bring myself to stop the deadly plunge even when the blood started to flow

For Blood is like sugar when revenge runs the show

Dripping from my fingertips on to the bed it left a mark of finality that put my madness at ease

My smile was genuine as I dialed the number to phone the police

What is your emergency the operator asked me

I replied I have killed the devil and now I am free

I was brought in with chains and put in the pen

When asked why I did this I would answer I held on the pain in

Now as I sit quietly on my cot in the joint

I smile as I recall my breaking point
Nov 2015 · 571
Greed
SJ Nov 2015
Doing as I please
Taking with ease
Feeling no remorse
Spewing venom with force
Pain is my game
Selfish is my fame
Taking over Generosity
Witness my Atrocity
Power hungry as ever
Call me cruel, but I say clever
Never satisfied in any way
Always have the final say
Bow down to me
Never will they be free
Born to take over, to lead
Generosity is dead, all hail Greed
Nov 2015 · 339
Dream Lover
SJ Nov 2015
There is a man I see in my dreams

This man who's kiss fills me with need

I wake up so hot and covered in sweat

Aching for a man I've never met

His touch sets me on fire

Feels me with passion and desire

I know this man, though I have not seen with my eyes

I know his touch, his kiss, and I know he is mine

His body fits, molds with mine like a glove

During my dream he shows me the secrets of love

The things we do makes me blush, but I'm not embarrassed

He is strong yet his touch is a gentle caress

Who are you? I need to know now

I need to find my lover I just don't know how

So next time you come to me whisper your name

I will find you so we can ease our pain
Nov 2015 · 222
War
SJ Nov 2015
War
Raise the weapons high

Smoke fill the sky

Prepare to be consumed by my wrath

Welcome to my bloodbath

Men resume your battle stance

Tonight many will fall in this bitter dance

Peace doesn't exist as I fire the first shot

Fighting for a cause that many forgot

I feed off their greed

It is a substance that I need

Rage makes me stronger

I have lived for many years, now I live longer

Humans are weak, easy to manipulate

They stand no chance against Fate
Nov 2015 · 290
Devil's Fire
SJ Nov 2015
Ashes smolder quietly on the ground

Death often has no sound

Flames spread so very quick

No time to respond to the Devils trick

Angels cry at innocence loss

Into heaven victims cross

Blame is put on the survivor

Denial is claimed; the people call lier

Punishment for living so it seems

Shot rings out that follows screams

Once a survivor; survivor no more

Judge reads verdict like it's a chore

Not guilty they found

Innocence is nothing if their in the ground

Devil smiles in his lair

Flames still rise up through the air

Evil strikes upon this town

Don't rise up instead they bow down

Why give into the Devils game

Its us who feeds the flame

— The End —