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SJ Dec 2015
She was beautiful
Her blonde hair flowed past her waist
Very shy creature, always hiding her perfect face
Everything I had needed at the time
Love was something I'd never hoped to find
For a short while though
It had been mine
If I could stop this clock
Rewind back before the shock
I'd breathe her in and never release
Keep her tight. Hold her close to me
Missed opportunities don't compare to this
Being so close to eternal bliss
With one wrong move and one misguided doubt of the mind
Wrecked my chances with the girl I had searched so hard to find
My false happiness can only last so long
Sitting here while she is moving on, trying to be strong
Never knew it was possible to drown in memories
Knowing blue eyes that seem to haunt me, refusing to let me be
I need her next to me. This agony won't cease
I need my love. Only she can bring me peace
SJ Dec 2015
Promising to take me to wonderland.

Never run away in cowardice again.

Worry will fade when we're together.

All you'll need is the Hatter forever.

Binded tightly in the Red Queen arms.

Hatter returns and saves me from harm.

Unlike before when he was unsure.

The Hatter realized that this Alice is his world.

Yet I fell for someone long before.

Another who had promised to never leave my heart sore.

So do I trust someone who is Mad and never speaks in sane words.

Do I listen to my heart? It's demanding to be heard.
SJ Dec 2015
Darkness is what the young boy awakened to.

It surrounded him making his fear rise

He began to cry out for his mother.

Silence is the only answer he got.

'Where's mama?' The boy thought

He scrambled to get up from his makeshift bed.

On the floor in the kitchen of their Chicago apartment is where they slept.

Always slept in the kitchen because mama said the demons wouldn't get them in the kitchen.

The boy listened in the dark for any sounds to indicate where his mother might be.

Hearing a faucet running from the bathroom sink.

Finding his way out of the kitchen he got out into the hall to find the bathroom light was on.

As he got closer he could hear his mom mumbling. "Mama?" The boy started to open the cracked door wider.

"Stay away boy! Boy. My boy Alek. Away. Go away. Evil beings with daggers say go. Go away." His mother was shrieking again.

He didn't like when his mom got this way. It was happening more and more.

She use to take him out to the park. Out to get get food.

She hadn't taken the boy out in days. He'd been having to go out by himself.

Asking for food from one of the neighbors.

There were papers getting slid under the door daily that read eviction notice.

He kept bringing them to his mom but she kept tearing them up.

He was really scared this time as he gazed at his mama where she crouched in the corner of their small bathroom.

Both the bathtub faucet and the sink faucet were on full blast.

Her hands were over her ears as she muttered about things that the boy couldn't comprehend.

Feeling scared and uncertain the boy went back to the kitchen and got under the blankets.

Covering his head and ears. Trying to block out the sounds coming from the bathroom.

Eventually everything became silent.

The silence bothered the boy more than anything.

Shaking, he arose once again and made his way to the bathroom.

He could hear the water still running, but his mom had gone silent.

Fear settled around the boy like a old friend, making his trembling worse.

He knew something wasn't right.

Nothing ever was right.

But now he knew for certain that something bad had happend.

Dread hung heavy in the air as the boy stepped into the cramped bathroom, his feet wet with water.

That was the first thing the young boy saw. It was gushing out of the tub.

Out of the sink. Running out of the tiled bathroom floor to the hall.

He rushed over to the bathtub to try and turn the nozzle off like he had seen his mama do before.

His tiny hand slipped at first, not able to firmly grasp the nozzle.

Eventually he grasped it and turned it till the faucet gave one last gurgle and drip before finally shutting off.

Then he ran over to the sink where he saw his mom's shirt was stuffed into the drain.

Preventing the water from going down. He removed it before shutting off the sink.

His mama had done this before. She always said the dark man wants the water. He never knew what she meant.

Couldn't understand the dark man was in her mind.

That she was in desperate need of help.

But nobody around these parts got help when it came to mental illness. Not if you didn't have any family.

And the woman only had her young son.

Who was currently crying and screaming at what he had found.

His mom crouched over in the corner, not making a sound

Bloodied wrists. A razor blade lay near.

Sickening to think that maybe if someone cared she could've gotten help

But that was not the Fate of the woman who only had her son.

Instead she took an out, leaving the young boy with no one.
SJ Dec 2015
Take me
Take my body
Let me slip
Fall from his grasp
Hide me please
A place unknown
Don't let him near
All I want
Is for you to listen
Hear my silent pleas
Save me from the man
The man I loved
The man who shouldn't be
All I need is to be saved
So I can be free
So take me
Take my body
SJ Dec 2015
I found you that day
Or was it the other way
Around
Round, you spun me in circles
I'm still dizzy from the
Fall
Fell hard, the impact shattered me
Disrupted my firm
Belief
Believed my heart was his
But I didnt actually hear the
Beat
Beating out of my chest when I saw you
How can I love him but I want
You
You're so confusing to my binded heart
I need you and for some reason I can't bare  to
Part
Depart from the tangled mess my heart got itself into to
I keep asking myself how do I
Choose?
Choice isn't mine really
See its also up to you to decide what you
Want
Wanting and needing are two different things
I want to fix him, but I need to fix you, the one who left me
Wrecked
Wreck my senses, not sure what to do
Need a second opinion fore I fear of making a
Mistake
Mistaken and Ending up with no one
Not you or him, just me
Alone
SJ Dec 2015
Hair lays perfectly on shoulders so thin
Mirror reflects a beauty that is pure sin
Plump lips are painted a dark red
Air thick with words unsaid
Flushed as hands touch the skin
Moon doesn't dare shine as it begins
Body trembling begging for this hunger to be fed
Earth quaking for what lay ahead
Dancing in a brutal manner, a wicked end
Passionate for this hate. It's something that one cannot mend
Laying down on that bed of roses, flinching as they bled
If this was anybody else they'd have fled
One cannot simply leave an exotic flower
Deep ocean eyes that got more appealing with every passing hour
Resisting the pull is harder said than done
Sin had never looked more fun
Hair layed perfectly on shoulders so thin
Don't shy away, Dark Fate
Let me in
SJ Dec 2015
Seeing him smile at me

Was a reminder to you who I was before

Before I met you and turned my life around

When I was running in circles

Screaming

In reality I never made a sound

Nobody noticed my broken pleas

Then you came along and saved me

Now as he looks at me with hunger in his eyes

You turn and look at me

I can see your disgust

Please don't judge me

My past is dark

Filled with poor choices and misguided hearts

You knew that going in

Saw my open wounds

I told you I had sins

Now that they're coming to light

Your reactions aren't matching up with the promises you made

Said you'd want me no matter my past

Prove it now

Make us last

So don't judge me

I wouldn't dream of judging you

Let our love move forward

Not in reverse

Love me for who I am now

Not who I was then

Help me make up for my sin
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