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 Nov 2013 Sarah B
R
11/8/13
 Nov 2013 Sarah B
R
i don't like being still.
i like moving around,
making noise and
doing things.

i physically can't be
lazy anymore.
i can't stand the thought of
not being productive,
i hate doing nothing.

im not sure if this makes me
a hardworker or if this is
the only other way i know
how to cope with everything.

i just push everything to the
side and do a bunch of work.
constantly pushing myself into
stressful situations until i scream because
i like the feeling of being productive and
being someone my parents and teachers
are proud of and i dont know,
i guess thats better than cutting but
what if the stress becomes so much that
i can't handle it anymore and
then i go back to the
blades even worse
than before?

he told me that he was proud
of how well i've been doing but
i can't help but think that
its a lie and he could really just
care less about me,
just like my parents do.
 Nov 2013 Sarah B
R
why you?
 Nov 2013 Sarah B
R
I cry over you and
the times I miss.
like the time you wanted me to
belt out Adele or the time you
let me not take a test because
of everything i was going through
or like the time i told you
how cute your socks were and
you put your foot on the desk and
showed me the hole you have
in it.
i miss when youd keep me
after class to ask me how i was
doing or how our fingertips would
brush and youd look me in the
eyes like you knew you felt
it too.
i miss how you made me feel
and how you knew i was afraid of
falling--not just physically but
figuratively too.
i miss when you put your hand on my
back when you brought me to the couselor
or when you wiped my tears away or
when you called me beautiful or
when you said how proud
you were of me.
i miss how youd tell me how
my future was bright or how
youd smile at anything id say or
look me straight in my eyes and
your eyes would
sparkle.
god, i just miss you so much.
why are you acting this way?
 Nov 2013 Sarah B
sayona
i see the twinkle of hope in your eye
when your body crumbles to the ground
and when your eyes sag a little at the corners
and when you mumble, "I no longer belong here."

i notice how you want help
when you push me away
and reject my hugs
and don't listen to my advice

i feel the warmth and beating of your heart
when you say, "I feel no more."
even when we're miles apart
even when your skin is ice cold

i see beauty where others see nothing

-
 Nov 2013 Sarah B
sayona
we are more
 Nov 2013 Sarah B
sayona
we're not this worthless piece of a soul floating around
and inhabiting one's body
this body is just something temporary for our souls,
our true beings to occupy for a bit of time
we are more than this ***** filled and flesh covered beings
we are made out to be
we are more than what we think
and what our minds will ever let us to believe
we were all made, and created,
and brought alive for a special purpose
that we may not ever know in our lifetime
we were made to affect, and to change, and to love
and to feel and to think
there's always a little bit more to us
then we could ever imagine or dream
no matter how bright we think we are,
we're always a little bit brighter
no matter how shy we think we are,
we're always a little more outgoing
no matter how heartless we think we are,
we're always a little more loving
no matter how brutal we think we are,
we're always a little more gentle
no matter how much that we think we are worthless
and that we are nothing
and that we are unwanted
and that we're not special or loved
we are
because we're more than that
so much more
we will always be more
and i don't think anyone will ever comprehend their true selves.
because we're just too tragically beautiful
for anyone to ever understand

- S.O.
 Aug 2013 Sarah B
Harold Pinter
No, you're wrong.

Everyone is as beautiful
as they can possibly be

Particularly at lunch
in a laughing restaurant

Everyone is as beautiful
as they can possibly be

And they are moved
by their own beauty

And they shed tears for it
in the back of the taxi home
 Aug 2013 Sarah B
eL
The Bovine
 Aug 2013 Sarah B
eL
Sleeping lifeless under an old juniper tree
Lipless and unable to taste
Blind to the world and its surroundings
Vultures don't let it lay in peace
A calf has no milk to drink, no mother to love
Me, saddened and disturbed by the look on its motionless face
Why now, why this place?
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