you gave me sand beneath my feet,
and let me sink into this sanity.
falling down, hands on knees,
on ice, you let me slip.

the tip of my tongue was tied,
head turned the other direction
until the whiplash came to me,
snapping
in an instant, my neck
back into place.

i thought it cruel
(and i also thought i was wise)
but before the screeching stopped,
i thanked you.

My lost soul bleeds, and reeks havoc as I walk through this world as if I’m a savage covered up by a mask made up of bad habits- ******.  I know I can’t live life to the fullest life will never be lavish unless this **** surpasses.  Wheres the devil so I can stab him, release these bitter truths like a rabbit from my hat- as fast as magic.  Forget these standards of being the best, nothing less than above average, yes it’s a ***** to understand it.  Don’t grow weak, grow where your planted erase world made labels being only an addict, has-been, ****, or a ******.  There is more to life and you can have it, its closer than you think you can even grab it.  Wipe off the blood and sweat you let out from all this nonsense, you don’t have to tolerate let alone follow it as if its all you have.  Forget it and don’t listen to any more *******,  jump on your horse and ride it toward the sunset know that in this new life your gonna never have regret so push ahead in the right direction.  Carrying your soul out of havoc  take a deep breath in.  Find relief as you look out beyond the open seas giving you a reason to dream, a purpose to seek,  ability to finally fall deep asleep and awake the next day ready to make your own way, look up to the Lord with thanks, bow your head and pray.

Spring rain
leaking through the roof
    dripping from the wasps' nest.

Waking dreams
are so real
there is no other
way to feel

standing at the
gates of Hell
then falling deep
into the veil

down you go
it feels surreal
like Dali's image
makes you squeal

melting watches
faces too
like a trip you took
in school

melting visions
merge into
spinning wheels
of warmer hues

then the scene
begins to fade
you must now
start your day

Walking out
into the rain
unwanted memories
won't wash away

Floating free
of worldly care
left my body
back  there

A contract is a contract
a deed is a deed
for what I am paid
I must complete
that is the way
of life for me
I'll take care of your problem
for a fee

My parents are gone
can bring them no shame
won't leave a mark
on my family name
the family I serve
knows the life well
there is no turning back
the toll of the bell

Innocent victims
do bother me
at least for a while
till the drugs settle me
but it is false
this delaying of pain
at night I can see them
silently asking
"why have you taken
my life from me?"
"in order to feed
your unholy need"

I have no answer
to give to thee
it is just business
at least to me
stalking by moonlight
silently creeping
keep out of sight
my quarry can't see
slip out of the shadows
deliver the blow
disappear in the night
collect my dough

I chose this life
it seemed so cool
but after years
the toll, let me tell
going to hell
a certainty
enjoy myself now
counting money

A wig and some make up
so it can't be seen
who is doing
these dastardly deeds
maybe a pistol
or a knife in the neck
or maybe a bomb
placed in a pack
no matter the way
when I have been paid
there will be no stopping
your life I will take

to me it seems that the truly rich
are the contemplative,
the homed
are the ones
who can find a home
or create one
for someone else
the orphaned
are the ones who have forgotten
to look into the soul of the world
and one another's eyes

the blessed are the ones
who find themselves cradled
in the arms of the stars
feeling themselves more beloved
than anyone on earth
knowing the Creator
wishes everyone
to feel like that

knowing
love is waiting:
like a favorite woven hammock
in the jungle between the betel-nut and the soursop tree

like the tiny waves that seek the shore
to say hello over and over
to kiss the cheeks
of the hermit *****

like the seahorse clouds
brilliant orange and red
mirroring the ocean until
the whole world is a sunset,
i am in the sunset, i am the sunset

and the sun never really sets after all
it's bringing light to india
kenya hawai'i
it will
be back

Two loves I have, of comfort and despair,
Which like two spirits do suggest me still:
The better angel is a man right fair,
The worser spirit a woman coloured ill.
To win me soon to hell, my female evil
Tempteth my better angel from my side,
And would corrupt my saint to be a devil,
Wooing his purity with her foul pride.
And whether that my angel be turned fiend,
Suspect I may, yet not directly tell;
But being both from me both to each friend,
I guess one angel in another’s hell.
    Yet this shall I ne’er know, but live in doubt,
    Till my bad angel fire my good one out.