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 Nov 2013 Sadie K
LAS
Dreams
 Nov 2013 Sadie K
LAS
All of this began as a dream
     the most vivid vision.
It felt like looking into the future
     this time, it was the unknown.
The hard truth I was about to learn;
     the weather was calm, the season was new;
     the water flowing around us was fresh.
Then I looked up to see your face,
     my eyes returned down,
     to see mine reflected on the water's surface.
I felt the significance was shallow,
     little did I know it was all about the creek
     that carried you alone to the river.
I never knew the downhill flow to be so treacherous.
The longest moment, all so terrifying;
I couldn't wake up, it was my real-life nightmare.
I first wrote a circle poem, and turned those words into the last word for each line in this poem.  I would definitely like to use this approach again in the future.  Again, an old poem from junior year English class.
 Nov 2013 Sadie K
Dark Smile
Life knows how to hit you in the most unexpected ways.
You may think you're getting better when actually,
you're just living in a deluded world.
You may think you fixed yourself when you're still broken and the pieces scattered around you.
Reality, pushed to the furthest corner of my mind.
I'm living in dreamland.
How am I to face reality,
an enraged beast,
trapped in there for many months.
How am I to face it when dreamland comes crashing down?
Feeling better today.
 Nov 2013 Sadie K
Shannon
Numb.
 Nov 2013 Sadie K
Shannon
Numb
That is all i can feel.
Numb
Nothing seems real.
Numb
I can't pretend that it's fine
You've worn me to the ground.
Every feeling i once felt
is not pounded.
So my heart is left bare
No feelings live there.
I feel the beat of once happy blood
flow through my veins.
It's blue. oxygen is dried.
Used by all the painful tears i have cried.
 Nov 2013 Sadie K
Dark Smile
~
 Nov 2013 Sadie K
Dark Smile
~
I saw your message.
I was there for you when you were feeling down and now you feel obliged to be here for me.
Don't.
I helped you because I cared.
I know you care too but,
I don't need your help.
I don't need anyone's help.
I really appreciate your concern.
But,
if you help me,
you'll remind me of her.
She helped me and then,
she stabbed me in the back.
You're a nice girl.
You're one of the few who care.
I don't want you to remind of her.
For then,
I will be afraid of losing you in the worst way possible.
I really regret lying to you when you asked me if I was okay.
However,
I had no choice.
Mainly because I don't want your help.
I hate it when people pity me.
I feel weak and I may be anything but,
I'm most definitely not weak.
I refuse to be weak.
even if I have to pretend,
I will be strong.
After everything that has happened to me and I know that's not much compared to other but,
I refused to be pitied.
The only one who is allowed to pity me is that one girl who stuck with me through EVERYTHING and we aren't even close.
She's a nice girl too.
I love you,
really but I refuse to be weak.
I will be strong no matter what.
You're a good person, but some things,
I have to deal with on my own.
By the way,
I'm not fine and I'll never be fine, at least, for the foreseeable future.
I'm bent.
I was broken but I fixed myself.
I guess that makes me fine but,
I'm not as fine as before.
If this even makes sense. I'm sorry I really had to get this out.

To you, even though you don't know of the existence of this account, I deemed it necessary to "inform" you this. Thank You for your offer of help, really.
 Nov 2013 Sadie K
Shari Forman
You love,
You learn,
You cry,
You burn.

*I know there are still many opportunities to meet different guys (especially in college not too far away)
 Nov 2013 Sadie K
pookie
Giving up
 Nov 2013 Sadie K
pookie
There's no word
Or action
Or book
Or person
Who can describe what it's like
To truly give up

There is no reason
Nothing
That's just it there's nothing

I've tired and tried
For the love of god I've tried
For friends
Family and loved ones

But there's nothing left
Nothing to try for anymore

So I'm giving up
As I've said in poems before
I'm becoming the empty shell

That nothing
Just something that used to be and is
No more.

Giving up
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