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  Oct 2015 Sadie
Walter W Hoelbling
without remembering
our past
we cannot understand
   the present
   plan for the future

   that is what they have told us
   in so many words

with advancing years
memories accumulate
   eventually
making up most of our lives

and yet

memory is there
   life is here

the present always
outruns the past
leads us into futures
we do not know

those who think
detailed knowledge of the past
would help them cope
with future life
are right
    and wrong as well

we imagine
our future modeled on the past
with the present thrown in
for good measure

and yet

the future may be
   the present is
      the past was

to live in it
makes you an addict
of events that were
once upon a time

   no matter
   whether fairy tale
   or trauma

the art of letting go
is in demand
and in much need

to square the circle
of life’s mystery
  Oct 2015 Sadie
Lynne
Music to my ears, the rush of water un-
mistakingly caresses my hand. I re-
member looking at my hand close to yours wishing
maybe you'd hold it and see.

Graciously, you leapt to me and be-
grudgingly I floated away.
Gracefully, you closed your heart and like
glass I shattered you, but still you stay.

Soft against you, I push and pull.
Straining to escape what I had begun
Simply because the answer was yes
So now my eyes blink hard in the sun.

I swim to you, but you're too far now
I have lost all hope of holding you
I submerge into the coolness of your gaze
I desire so much to be, not one, but two.

Licensed diver, I went too far
Longing now to swim to the very deep
Longing to dive into you, close to your heart
Living with your ghost, it's close enough to sleep

You, in my veins, pressure on my body
You, in my heart, pressure on my soul
You, in my mind, unlocking the chest
You, in my body, one with the wind you become.
Sadie Oct 2015
ICE
I left my window open tonight
          the loneliness came sweeping
          through it and chilled me
               to the bone
my skin cracked frigid
          and my bones broke off in icicles
          and my heart
                oh, my heart turned to stone
my ribcage has grown brittle and fragile
          don't try to touch me now
          I'll shatter in your
                heart-breaking hands
I don't want to see your warm browns
          try to heat my cold green blues
               I don't need you.
He told me he loved me, and I never said it but god, I fell for him too.
And now it's over. I hate this.
Copyright @ Sadie Whitney
Sadie Oct 2015
I've been running away from love,
then I crashed into you.
It was all an accident,
but it'd been the best mistake I'd made yet.
Or so I thought.
You told me you loved me,
and like a fool,
I believed you.
And yet here I am.
My hands, shakier than ever,
I couldn't breathe
and I felt the tears coming.
I can't believe it!
It was all just a mistake,
a nightmare mistake.
I fell to the bottom of that pit
they call a heart,
and now I'm choking on my blood,
and I can't escape it's thick walls.
It drowns me with every beat.
My heart is killing me.
I think I'm doomed.
God, I can't believe I fell for him.
Copyright @ Sadie Whitney
  Oct 2015 Sadie
Sia Jane
(1)

I'm disturbed and yet deeply
comforted by my disturbed nature
I'm comforted because my darkness
envelops me-
it may be cold to the touch
rigid and upright
not soft and loving
but it's loyal
it never leaves.

Today, I'm driving
window down to help me breathe
I capture cold air in my wind pipe
I smell November winter air
smoke from chimneys rising-
when I breathe out I'm smoking too
warm air penetrating cold air
I smell November winter air
we're still in October
it's too early for these memories
I'm unprepared- it's too early.

Sat next to me she appears-
a paler, younger, thinner self
a self I'm sure has passed on
to another life
if it haunted me we'd call her a ghost
but she comforts me
shall we call her an imaginary friend?

"You look terrible!" I state wilfully.

(2)

She's dressed in a thousand layers
"You still feel the cold, eh!" I say
She winks, staying aloof
from any possible conversation
I take a tone of similar indifference.

There she is barely visible
so unafraid of death
arms striped with incisions
a razor blade left behind
hip bones, collar bones, chest bones
she's nothing more
than a white sheath coat
pulled over the skeleton of
a human body
skin screaming for nourishment
to show any signs of life.

If I asked to feel her pulse
there'd be nothing there
no beat
no rhythm
"Maybe it's why the fear of death
has left me!" she commands
"Because in your muffled confusion
your muscles wasting
including your brain-
you mistake yourself for dead." I retort
"You're 21 for Christ's Sake!"

(3)

Distracted by a red traffic light
I turn away-
when I look back, she's gone.

So here I am
talking to myself
the ghost of Christmas past
disappears as soon as my back
is turned.

When I'm alone
the silence
is always louder
than any noise I ever hear-
the silence attracts her back
I reach out to her
trace her face with my finger tips
I whisper: "God Bless,"
knowing some memories are meant
to be laid
to rest.


© Sia Jane


Read on SoundCloud:
https://soundcloud.com/sia-jane-words/winter-air
  Oct 2015 Sadie
penn
I want to colour the skies and drown in the blue
I want to write poetry and read it for you
I want my hairs to fall on your face as we lie down smoking the last cigarette, laughing at our silly stories,
The old staircase at my home leading to the terrace,
I want to keep small pots which bloom jasmines in the hot summer nights.
The small diary which I hide in my drawer.
I want someone to read it one day.
I want you to know me..
Like no one has know ever.

I laugh like a lunatic, and cry like one too..
I wish to paint myself with colours unknown and become an art myself because people like me should come with a caution..
As I am the untamed storm and I would destroy you in the most beautiful  way possible..
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