Free me now and leave me lonely
take your broken heart from mine,  dry your eyes, these tears won't save us
as we tread our final mile.
Scattered dreams and shared belongings
gathered up and set apart,
works of ours, once shared, now reeling,
silent, as we break their hearts

We are nothing that matters,
created in mystery
while slowly dissolving to dust.
Pretentions and delusions our comfort as reality bites with it's point filed teeth.

We are not made of stars, nor moondust, we are products of all that has gone before and the destruction of all that is yet to be. 

I yearn to see this life through a rearview mirror, it's withered form a speck on the far horizon, for the hurt to stop as this knife in my back plunges further into my sickened depths, severing my spine from all it holds dear. 

I yearn for silence, for these thoughts to stop spewing from my acid tongue, burning my unkissed lips with a million wasted words while attempting to say only one.

Minutes turn into months, decades of meaningless days and miniscule triumphs. 

The stage is set, my role is uncast but the curtain never falls, I stumble wildly through blind utterances, dreaming darkly, while anxiously awaiting the applause that will herald my passing.

This is not living.

Between a baby's first word
And a deathbed confession
There are plenty of times
For God to say,
“I told you so.”

Could you take this broken heart
this funeral beat, this withered soul
and take it back there to the start
to love again and make it whole.

Could you take these doleful eyes
of faded green, once emerald bright
and bring them up to meet with yours
to fill them with your loving light.

Could you love me in this moment
disregard my broken bones
shattered by another's longing
take my hand and lead me home.

If you could, not everlasting,
for a second, suspend time
would you press into my darkness
to place your healing hand in mine.

This I ask with humbled chorus
not for better, nor for worse,
the love you give it will not linger
let your blessing be my curse.

This night is too long, without you I toss and turn in hope of slumber, finding only isolation and shattering need. I ache, my heart a pulsing bruise, my body weak from all the wanting, my mind lost somewhere between your echo and the closing of the door. 

I am barely here, gossamer silence wrapped in satin bows and weeping scars.

I have become my own tragedy, a lost soul wondering through darkness, chasing the fireflies of my imagination but never grasping their glow. My age leaves me weary, too many years have passed unnoticed while your hands dealt passions blows in the name of fun and inappropriate pursuits, but to what end?
My loneliness is a heavy blanket that offers no comfort, our love is a lie without remorse and you, my love, are the noose from which I will hang.

My grandpa took me camping
it was an intervention
this was denied by him of course
as soon as it was mentioned.

We pitched a tent on forest floor
told tales around the fire
we swam the lake and walked the hills
no WiFi his desire

The night was filled with twinkling stars
the heavens lay before us.
We woke refreshed and entertained
by a hundred bird dawn chorus.

We packed our kit and travelled home
of signal I was dreaming
I heard that beep, so comforting
my cue to begin streaming!