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I need sleep, but I just want an ending
And I haven't taken my pills in a month because I don't trust myself not to swallow the whole bottle once it's in my hand
On my medical file they call that "uncooperative"
Instead of "survival"
The doctors don't understand what it's like to be a quickly unraveling thread
I'm pulling on it,
Pulling myself apart
Habitual self-destruction is more familiar than healing
And I feel more comfortable knowing the end game
Recovery is a shot in the dark
Unraveling is much easier
 Jun 2016 Rustle McBride
Stephan
.

I was going to write a poem
but I just ran out of ink
I had the stanzas lined up nice,
I know I did, I think

It said how much I loved her,
and that she had gone away
Rhymes about my broken heart,
how it was here to stay

One verse filled with crying,
those endless falling tears
While hiding neath the covers
afraid to face my fears

Another said I miss her,
my days had all turned gray
There was no sun, there was no moon,
just sadness on display

I mentioned how I need her,
life will never be the same
Saying I was sorry,
that I knew I was to blame

My entire world is empty
and I couldn’t take much more
She’d always be my every thing,
the one I would adore

I really hoped to write it,
though I know she’d never see
These feelings that I’d write about
so deep inside of me

So now I’ll just forget it,
nothing else to do, I think
Except to sit here with my pen
that’s just run out of ink
 Jun 2016 Rustle McBride
Eiler
This is why the world is curved;
So we cannot see too far down our path -
enabling us to discover our surroundings,
and enjoy it's flowers.
 Jun 2016 Rustle McBride
Matt
Lonely
 Jun 2016 Rustle McBride
Matt
I'm so tired
Of this loneliness
And no one
Seems to care

I'm just that guy
On his Ipad

Sitting over there

Months pass by
Then years
Decades too

Life is painful
I'll be happy
When I've
Made it through

And I dream of
Kurdish women

Their loving voices
Their depth of soul

And I love these women

Please Lord
Let their be
Kurdish women

In heaven to comfort me
Upon those fields of gold
I wrote this after being inspired by the brave and loving women of the YPJ.
 Jun 2016 Rustle McBride
cgembry
The stage has been set
Nature anxiously waits to see
How the Earth intends
To transform a seed into a tree

Cloaked beneath the soil
Hidden far from sight
Strengthened by the rains
Nourished by the light

And perhaps magic does exist
Just undetected to the human eye
Because that tiny little seed
Has now risen to the sky
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