It's funny how people tell me I'm strong, tough
Independent
But some things make me so weak
My will breaks easily and I fall
I'm not talking about physical weakness
Nor any type of physiological frailty
My mind and heart are the problem
And sometimes I wonder
Were the tinman and scarecrow wrong?
True, there is benefit in having a heart
And yes, a mind has much to offer
But the heart remembers you
The mind aches with pain
And I'm tired of being broken
I know I can be sweet
Kindness is little problem
But does one need a heart to be kind?
Perhaps its absence would suit me better
And if I think, I think so often of the past
What could have been, what might have been
And I think(hah think) that maybe
Losing my mind wouldn't be so bad
So tell me heart, and you also mind
What is your great redeeming quality?
I'm dying to know

Hands of every clock,
each passing hour
clap aloud thinking,
at long last,
the  enigma of  time is
caught and caged for ever.
But what one hears
in every chime is
the sardonic laughter of
elusive time.

Something's off.
Something's strange.
I cannot see,
nor Rearrange.

I feel it near
Pressing my heart
Only to wonder
where does it start?

Is it in the sky?
in the trees?
or could it rest
within the seas?

It stares and follows
Without a care;
My eyes go searching
my focus tears

No matter where
No matter how,
it stalks my conscience
Here and Now.

All my trust,
All my hope;
It's mindless talons
with these elope

It nags my sleep,
It nags my wake-
Were I to run
my breath it'd take

When I'm to lie
in my bed
it lies right over
my eyes- blood red

And in my wake,
I stop and think
with every word.
at every blink.

Walking- a rock
within my shoe
pulling it out
so easy to do

Yet this fiend
makes me believe,
No worthy to heal.
never to relieve.

Maybe ticks alone
will save-
Or maybe tocks
help find it's cave.

Never leaves.
never goes.
forever here,
my forever clothes

A fun house, haunted house,
I won't live here anymore.

I was halfway to
your house and
turned
around because I hadn't locked my door;

It's too heavy to keep
swinging back and
forth. So please, make
sure you take all of
your belongings before
exiting the carousel.

A fun house, haunted house,
I won't live here anymore.

This life is
yours

and yours alone.

So just keep going
and forget not who
you are
and from where
you have come.

Happy..
Energetic..
Care free..
These are the memories from my childhood
The innocence I once had is forever gone
Sorrow and woe has taken its place
Consuming me from the inside out*
I am trapped within myself
With no hope of ever feeling alive
I sit in this hollowed out shell of mine
Physically looking as if nothing is wrong
While emotionally unstable
Locked in my room i stay
Out of fear from the people who don't undestand
I see them staring
I hear them whisper and laugh
Will the teasing ever stop?
Silent I stay
Pretending not to hear
Faking my smiles as if everythig is fine.
Holding in the tears that want to pour out
Stupid girl
Don't give them that satisfaction
       Don't you cry

          *Not yet...

They tell us to live our lives
but they give us so little time to do just that
placed under the constant constraint of rules and laws
how is that living?
living is to be free
but there is no time for that.
living is to be alive in all ways
but they give us no time for that.
when life stops my ticking clock,
will i be satisfied?
satisfied with every tick mark,
every minute on that clock,
because in those minute marks
are countless nights of fun, laughter, and heartbreak,
in those minutes,
I lived.
but will the minutes i spent doing what i was told to do,
or even made to do take over?
will they outweigh the times i was truly free?
will any of it matter?
if only i could stop my ticking clock to go back and count,
count and get an overall calculation.
but i keep living.
never stopping until my clock stops.
no time to go back.