For so long
And especially this year, I've been forcing laughter.
Faking smiles.
But then you came along and changed everything.
When our eyes lock I get butterflies in my tummy.
When your name lights up my phone I swear my smile could light up the night sky.
I can't even control it,
It just overflows.
You know how in the movies there's always that one girl?
You know the one smiling like an idiot walking by herself through the halls?
You've turned me into that idiot girl.
And the scary part is,
*I'm beginning to like it

"They only burn themselves to reach Paradise"
                                       - Mne. Nhu

original courage is good,
motivation be ******,
and if you say they are trained
to feel no pain,
are they
guarenteed this?
is it still not possible
to die for somebody else?

you sophisticates
who lay back and
make statements of explanation,
I have seen the red rose burning
and this means more.

I carve the words
So carefully into my skin
The words that you say
Hurt me within
You say there just words
And they can do no harm
But look at my skin
I guess you were wrong

my pages are shaking like
timid dry leaves on
a brisk Autumn morning
I am a book heavy
with unspoken words
piled beneath countless others
a couple stains and a weak spine
it's hard to hold all the stories together
sometimes I'll find a page out of order
that someone's ripped out and
rearranged
The stories are getting shorter and shorter
losing pages throughout and

She stares into the mirror
And sees her ugly face
She just wants to be pretty
Not a pitiful disgrace.

She just wants to be let go
From the clutches of dispair
To be thin, not fat and ugly
Like her friends. It's so unfair.

She hears as people laugh at her
As she waddles down the street
She dies a little more inside
With everything she eats.

She hasn't eaten much for weeks
And she won't eat today
She doesn't care about much else
Just how much she weighs.

She can't see the jutting bones
Or skin so pale and gaunt
She's not in control anymore
It's the fear of fat that haunts.