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 Apr 2013 Roseanna H
Tyler Brooks
Can I sit without
guilt and anxiety
if I take off this crown of thorns
and rid of it unto another?
Or must I stand?
your face is still scrunched up with angst
"she put my arm about her waist,
and made her smooth white shoulder bare"
i want you
i want you
i want you
"give herself to me for ever,
but passion sometimes would prevail"
it's getting slightly awkward
we've made 3 sketchy glances now
oh, that makes 4
you know
i know
"happy and proud, at last i knew
Porphyria worshipped me"
you know
"that moment she was mine, mine, fair,
perfectly pure and good"
starts to sink in
"i am quite sure she felt no pain"
guilt starts pumping itself through your veins,
coursing through your body with such force
you can't hide it
"now why did he **** her?"
"he must have loved her too madly."
always love
with that you look directly at me
as i choke down some water to keep myself from throwing myself in your tempting arms that are "like home"
ready to have my yellow hair wrapped
3 times
around my little throat
going limp
forever wrapped in your disgusting guilt
Gap
Your car was perfectly warm
with a chill that wouldn't fail.
My hands strong enough to know
not to hold yours frail.
And that bottle of wine haunted us both,
longing for a sip.
Me, like that bottle,
unsafe in your grip.
But anyway,
I drank.
Partially to remind myself of what we'd had before,
but it tasted different,
sipping it became more of a chore.
And you were nervous to be beside me,
I could feel it getting worse,
when you brushed my leg and said sorry
with an uncomfortable amount of force.
It's okay
I remind you
it's just me.
Quick to fill the silence I reached for a CD,
but no track seems to fit the mood.
All of our favorites sounded wrong,
too much tension in every song.
Fumbling through the tracks,
I ignored the breeze
to fill the unending silence,
of friends turned lovers turned enemies.
And before I could muster a new conversation,
a tear hit my lap,
because between me and my best friend,
not even music could fill the hallow gap.
 Apr 2013 Roseanna H
taylor roff
I don't remember
Things
Faces
Names
Numbers
Dates
Transcendental journeys
I do remember
Lies
Truths
Rhythms
Dreams
Meals
Body's
Unintended sarcastic remarks
I dialed your number....
my hands repeating something they've known all too well in the past
and I grasped the phone in great anticipation listening to your tone
but when you said hello you were greeted by my silence
What could I really say?
...it wouldn't change a thing
I just let the static eat away
The radiation light up my brain
and the heat in my cheeks cool
as you ended this strange encounter with someone unknown
But you knew me once
you shook me once
At one point I was your world
but now I am just your pathetic prank caller
leaving you waiting on my word
which we both know is shot to hell
She told me once
that she's never
seen a firefly.

Last night, I tried
to catch her one.

The evening breeze
had drawn it close;
silently it
wandered through the
open window.

At first, moonlight
masked its entrance.
The modest torch
it carried had
been overwhelmed
by shades of grey.

It landed on
a tiny leaf,
from vines that crawled
up the walls, and
into my room.

Resting quietly
on its platform,
the dull, green strobe
pulsated, slow
constant rhythm.

I cupped my hands,
extended them,
and gently reached
out toward the
unsuspecting
visitor. It
stayed, motionless.

At that moment,
I knew it was
mine to keep. For
you. For me? I
can't remember.

It had become
my light, my warmth.
All that mattered,
to me it was.

I opened my
cupped hands. Still it
stayed, motionless.

One, two, three, four.
I noticed that
every burst had
become dimmer
than the previous.

It was dying.

I imagined
it must've tried
hard, gathering
enough courage
to shine brightly
in the darkness,
but a firefly
cannot outshine
the brightest star.


If I had known.
If I listened,
I would've heard
its humble plea:
Though my light fades,
let me rest here
in your own warmth.

You don't glow green,
but I see it.
You are shining.
Let me rest here
in your own warmth.


She told me once
that she's never
seen a firefly.

Tonight, I will
tell her how I
had caught her one,
and what I learned:

*Seek not the weak
light that flickers
in another.
Look inside you.
It burns bright red.
This has been in my drafts since October 2012. I couldn't decide what to do with it. I was unsure because sometimes parts didn't make sense to me. And it feels childish. I suppose one could say that's the charm.
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