I know I hurt you
I know you want retribution
For all I've done over the years
And that no amount of apologies
Can make up for my wrongs
But I regret them all
I learned from them though
I learned that *** is wretched without love
And one day I suppose
In making it all fair
You'll see that
I learned that love
Is more valuable than pride
In our time together
I forgave you
Took you back
Buried the hatchet
Because my love outweighed
My pain
And I suppose
It truly was I that loved most
And yet I know
You'd still put up a fight saying differently
So in this time I realized that
This life without you in it to comfort me
Is unbearable and my heart
Aches with the sorrow
The past taught me
That I can't give up
Even when it seems like
Its my only option
The past showed me that
When your down
You have to fight harder
Because you can't let the current
Sweep you away
My past is a hideous thing
And besides the time with you
I'd like to erase every bit
But at least i learned
At least the lessons
Gave me faith and kept me faithful
At least even if you never forgive me
You know your loved
At least you know
You'll always have a bed to come to
Even if its broken.

I opened the blinds.
I took a deep breath.
I reminded myself that I exist.
I let you go.

It was a routine morning.

The day we met to kiss
You asked me
To take a chance on you
To be yours again
To put aside the past
And the pain
And simply be yours
And I took that chance
And I was happy
Everyday because
I finally made a good choice
But here I am now
Asking you to take a chance on me
To put aside your pain and your fear
Just like I did
And let me prove that even the deepest wounds
Can be healed with love
With time
And with a deep rooted affection
Give me the chance I gave you
And maybe just maybe
We dont have to give up
On our time together
Just fight for it together.

Touch me
And sift
Through layers
Road rough and silky smooth
Feel the intricacies
Of love,
Hate & fear
That reside deep
Inside entwined
With biological
Messes
Through blood
Sweat & tears
Who's main function
Is the hormonal
Rush
That one is
Impressed on
With each
Word
And
Thought
And
Touch

I want silence
7 minutes
Without you in my head
5 minutes
Where the bustle of this so called life is muted
And the next 23 seconds
To just breathe without feeling so much shame

I spend an ungodly amount of time
Washing away your memory
My last shower lasted
49 minutes, 37 seconds
I can still smell gin and your musky cologne
Sometimes I feel clean...almost whole
Today I feel filthy, stained with past violence

Someone said that memories eventually fade
Slowing bleeding away into nothing

They lied

© 2013- 2014 Peach