When people ask how I am
I usually reply truthfully.
But lately I realized I blurt that
I am good, I’m doing fine when
honestly I’m not doing okay.
I’m constantly so angry, so doubtful,
so impatient.
I just want to scream.
Yell
Punch
It makes me mad
that I’m lying to myself telling
people I’m “good”
because I’m not.

I looked at your name in my phone,
the picture and last post
from your Facebook account
sent to and from space
on transmissions and airwaves.

I have a hard time remembering
the last time I saw you - at a bar,
the Blackhawks and the Bruins
making history on some LED screen,
while we sipped on cheap beer
and reminded each other
that our jobs aren't that bad.

A wise man said friendship
needs constant repair,
like your old red Jeep,
always rattling and clanking
for one reason or another.

And I realized tonight how things have changed:
that we're not growing apart, just growing up,
or maybe it's both, and maybe it's okay.

the walkers came dripping,

spots on the newly mopped floor,

as if i cared.



people bought umbrellas.



that day. i might have writtien it wrong,

is no spell check there.



there are mirrors, that show

the size of the discrepancy.



after the balance, they sheltered,

then made a run for it.



it was brain washing.

sbm.

You hit the right notes.
You see through the coats
Of paint and bone saws
All the undertone claws
At my fabric
Is this part of some elaborate
Plan
Or trick
Either will stick
Firmly to your web
I float through the ebb
Without really caring
If you, or anyone, is staring
At me caught in webbing
Of your plan
Or trick.
Because
Either will stick.

****

IT FEELS SO GOOD TO HEAR SUCH BEAUTIFUL WORDS IN MY EARS

WOW