I am a child
Of this I know
Constantly, repetitively
You remind me of my roles
The words "you aren't grown"
Fly from your lips
Tempting me to quit
Abandon unspoken responsibilities
In a rebellious mood
I'm filled with rage
All this potential I possess
Yet you have me locked in a cage
A bird with clipped wings
Shackles on my feet
As I answer to your kids
Who sometimes call me mommy
Inside of me there lies a cold hearted beast
Who wants to turn her back on this life, be free
But before the beast can reach the door
My conscience steals the key
Along with my dreams
And the hopes of ever leaving

Basically you're saying you don't need me
Without saying a word
As you look away
Eyes caressing the floor
like they once caressed my face
Grazing my skin yet leaving no trace
I can still feel your eyes on me
Warming  
making me blush without any warning
Electrifying my skin with your stare
Yet you don't know my name
I'm just a face now
That you see in the halls
No more memories of laughter, or those late night calls
That I cherished close to my heart
Those smiles and butterflies I let fly above the fear
That one day I would find you like you are here
Telling me you don't want me
Without saying a word

Have you ever watched an hourglass
Drip grain after grain
Telling you the seconds that tick by
In doing so I found myself with a new phrase
Slowly emptying into my mind
One grain falls, the lies begin to pile
The moment I asked you
Will you be my Valentine year round
Those sands of time
To our loves imminent demise
Began to pelt and pile at the bottom
Like the lies I told you of me never leaving
Of me always going to be there
I'm partially human
Yet that doesn't make me super
Baby I don't even know
If you can understand this metaphor
But when the sands empty from the top
I'll flip it over again
I'll never let our time together end
I'll be honest with you
Ask me anything I'll tell you the truth
I don't have any secrets
But this very one
I want to be your first for everything

*****
****
*****
*****
Nerd
Punk
******
First words out of your mouth
On the last day of my life
So moments before I pass away
I'll take the time to write them all
On the skin you feared would give you ***
******
Transvestite
Dweeb
*******
Seriously?
You don't remember it
The moments we bumped into each other
In almost every bathroom
Stuffing my face into the fresh ****
You just so happenly dropped
And had all your friends **** on me
As you flushed the toilet over and over again
I'm suprised
You were just joking about it in 5th hour
So allow me to introduce myself again
Hi my name is...
Not going to finish the statement
You usually do with
Queer
***
Short ****
My name has become whatever you decide to call me
And never once do you ever use the same one twice
But today I've kept track
Every name
Every moment in my high school history
Hell even in elementary and middle
You've been there every step of the way
Bullying me even more
Pounding me in the playground
Well I guess I'll show you what you called me
With the bruised body you left me
But I'll finish this off with my actual name *******
My name is Robert Guerrero
I was a poet, the voice to all the people
You thought were your stepping stones to success
Now I'm the corpse you left nameless

I don't need a god
Or any idol before me
I'd rather not kneel and show my weakness
I'd rather weep the tears
Mourn a final time
To show how scared I am
I don't need a cross to hold
I don't need a bottle or blade
I need the silence of a vacant altar
What I need is never what I get
What I want is nothing
But **** it I require a voice to say it'll be ok
For something or somebody
To comfort me in the darkest of days
Even those who love the dark fear it
They know all to well the monsters created
The demons that awaken
It's more than just a nightmare
It's a abyss always drowning its victims
With their own fears
I just pray to my insanity
Maybe my depression
Or perhaps the dark
To allow me one more river of tears
So I can finally swim out of this desert
I've loved and lossed
Lived and learned
Made mistakes invaluable
My proof is the scars
I doubt you'll ever believe the story to
This isn't just an atheists prayer
This is the plea of a monster with no conscious
To finally feel an emotion rather than anger and hate
Depression brings only crimson tears
I just wish somebody can tell me they understand
Yet you'll try and tell me
I should find an anchor in your heavenly father
It's not as easy as saying you believe
I'll never believe in a hypocrite
I'll only believe that one day
My prayer will be answered
With the bringing of boney fingers to my throat
Grains of sands falling
Causing the bells of my demise to toll
Swinging about the sythe to my chest
My prayer is to finally cry
To finally let out all the pain

I hunted through the foggy meadows
Weary of all the shadows
Spear held low
Aimed at one figure
I didn't realize my insanity
Creeping up from behind
I hunted my sanity
Yet I became prey to my insanity
Fangs tearing into my throat
Blood spewing from my jugular
I felt no pain
Once the hunter now the prey
Fed on every time I searched for my next meal
I guess it's a famine
My sanity became extinct
Long before it shattered from my parents torment
It was only an illusion
A hallucination to cover up the scars
My body only scarring never amputated
It's a monster I feed
When I become like my egregore
Starved and boney
Hatred and anger became my poison
Finding my sanity could be the cure
No matter how careful I am
I'm still the feast my insanity awaits

Mommie
Daddy
I've always wanted to say...
*******!
I've walked these streets
You always kept me shielded from
Never supported what I wanted
I'm not three anymore
How many times do I have to say it
Now I have a new phrase for you
*******!
Your backs are upon me
Thinking I'm the strongest
Just because I'm the biggest
Mom
Dad
Guess what guess what
*******!
The lemons you gave me were rotted
Made the lemonade taste like ****
Couldn't sell it because I'd end up dead
Murdered by the zombie voices eating at my brains
I also would like to say
*******!
Mom
Pops
You just chased out girlfriend #???
*******!
Can't even start making out
Without you busting in and acting like you didn't see this coming
Hey guess what
I've already grown my *****
My ***** dropped
You can go check out the crater they left
So here's a riddle for you
what has 7 letters its a phrase I use quite often
The answer is simple
*******
Mom
Pops
I'm leaving this place
Don't bother coming to my graduation
I don't want you there
You never supported me in school
You just told me what to do
Left me on my own to figure out what the **** to do
Thanks for being an anchor
These currents are really strong
Good thing I'm a good swimmer
Because then I would have let this life **** me
This world will not determine when I die
I will
So *******
*******
*******
I'm tired of hearing you call yourselves parents
You never earned that title
You think having a few kids
Changing diapers and feeding bottle after bottle
Makes you a parent
You're dead wrong
It's the nightmares
You're suppose to help me fight
It's the school bully
You're suppose to help me get rid of
It's the blade across my wrist
You were suppose to notice
Not once did you ever see my pain
You just mocked me when I confided in you that I was scared
You call yourselves parents
Yet all I see are people who fed me nothing but *******
So saying *******
Is my thank you
Without it I wouldn't have learned how to live
How to survive a world
You thought was too wild for me
You only encouraged a monster too wild for this world
******* to the people that have no value to me

I do not recall the day
When my hand stumbled upon his
Like a lost puzzle piece
Among countless others
I don't remember that sincere sensation
That filled my soul
As I looked into those cool brown eyes
That looked back at me with such passion
The infinite hours discussing our dreams our hopes
Till the morning hour light shines through the draperies
The dearest words of affection
Whispered sweetly
That made my cheeks scarlet with delight
I dont recall just exactly what went wrong
We were...picture perfect
I dont remember ever thinking that it was my fault
I don't remember that pointed dagger
Spearing my heart
To let it shatter against the floor into a million fragments of love
Scattered upon the ground like the fallen leaves
And like a wounded soldier
I fell
And cried soft tears of anguish
I dont remember ever finding another
All I remember now
Is just a shadow
This shadow of true love

Please go away now
Please leave me alone!
I dont need you
I can make it on my own
So get out of my head
Dont haunt me...please
I won't go where I'm not wanted
I won't stay where I dont belong
I won't sing
When my song isn't wanted
I won't speak if I don't have to
I won't speak if I'd rather stand
Why walk when I could run
What part don't you understand
Please go away now
I'm walking out the door
I'm going to take my freedom
What else can I want more?