How low can you go
Before the feeling becomes a high
Trapped in a stasis
Where you simply float
If I traveled through the earth
To describe it
I'd simply exit back to where I stood
If I pushed past the atmosphere
I'd simply drift off
Growing far higher than your imagination
So if I stood in place
Miming the statues of atlantis
I'd still be higher
Than an existence you don't know
So when I say I'm low
I'm really high
You just can't see
Fathom the idea
Because if not for me
You'd never understand
Exactly how high you are
On those pedestals
Someone else put you on
Without realizing
No one will do the same for me

One look in a mirror
I wonder exactly I have to offer
Every voice falls silent
Loading bars stall
Chalkboards erase
Nothing
Seems about right
To a point it's wrong
I'm a man of constant work
Bills, a child, roommate
A bankrupt heart
With a vacancy light on so long
It decided to turn itself off
What's to offer
When everything you have
Amounts to something nobody wants
I'm not looking
Pulled every advertisement
Deleted my website
Canceled subscriptions
Before I ran up any more debt
The bank doesn't even chase anymore
For there is no value in Chernobyl
Only memories forbidden to be visited
Still some come and go
Leaving footprints on years of dust
Eventually covered
When the next storm blows through
Not much to offer
But if you'd be interested
I'm certain it would be a thrill

Dive head first
Plummetting into the depths
Knowing jagged rocks
Await below my descent
Deserving of this crash course
Every time I open up
Secrets I keep to myself
Sometimes slip just for advice
Resulting in knowledge I already had
Knowing I'm the reason
My heart always gets blamed
When I feel the pull
That dreaded tug
Ripping my chest open
Just to hold onto her
Even when her hearts in another's hand
I don't need a her
I need the reason to come home
A responsibility to commit
To safety I disregard
As 90 becomes so easy to obtain
I chase my own form of happiness
In the thrill of knowing
Any second
I won't exist
I won't hurt
And the ones I wanted to love me
Will finally see
How without me
Smiles wouldn't have came so easily
I don't mind being that silent one
Taking the punches
Everyone throws wildly
Just to ease a moment of their pain
Subside a demon they ignore
Till it eats them alive
I do it to myself
I know that better than anyone
I just wish
I had someone to calm
The demon I'm becoming
All too friendly with
I need a reason to change
I don't see me achieving it
All by myself
I'm acknowledging
I need someone
When those lonely nights
Start to devour more
Of what I no longer cherish
So when I'm gone
In a fashion I carved my own
Miss me only in the moment
When you needed me the most
For then I'll wash over you
A calming hand
To hold you one more time

White lives don't matter
Black lives don't matter
Yellow lives don't matter
Blue lives don't matter
Pink lives don't matter
Orange lives don't matter
Rainbow lives don't matter
All lives don't matter
Who the **** cares
Human lives matter
I feel the same depression
You do when your old lady leaves
Or when your old man cheats
I feel the same love
When you look at your children
Or when they call for you
I'm tired of this *******
Feelings are ******
And hostility between blood
Doesn't change the thickness of water
That we continue to pollute
Under this bridge of bonds
We often set fire to
When we lose a feeling
Towards a person of affection
Human
That's what we are
Not colors
Just know when I say
My heart's in your hand
I really mean it's yours to hold
Even if it's a fragile fragment
Of stitches and elmer's glue
With glitter just to make it seem
Like it's pretty enough for you to treasure
At day's end
I'll still love you
The same if not more
As I did in the morning
We'll never be strangers
Even when you don't reply
Or forget I exist
We're human
With everything similar
Just forged in different shapes
And painted a variety of colors
Just to add uniqueness
In a world trying to make us the same

Time doesn't stand still
Mistakes I've learned from
Lessons I've explored
Diving till I've mastered
Still more remains
Have to keep telling myself
You're still young
Even though you're falling apart
Your seams can still be stitched
Only scars will remain
To tell a story before you leave
Insight to the sculptor
That carved his path
With finger nails
And hammer fists

Maybe you'll make it
Farther than expected of me
Even if you fail somewhere
Along those margin lines
Set so oblique by society
I'll remain proud
Within those instances
You'll witness your own growth
Best of luck my precious little girl
Any advice you need
I'll never be far
Always in your heart

Crimson walls
Pixelated pink
Arms out wide
Soothing embrace
Eyes filled with tears
I'll see you in another life
Written on crumpled paper
Held tight in your hands
Final thoughts
Pulsating questions
Why did you leave me
Alone to witness this hell
If I see you in another life
It will be on opposite sides
Of the same spectrum
Dancing thru fields of corpses
Like flowers in full bloom
I can't help but want to chase you
Into the unknown pits of oblivion
Uncertain of what awaits me
When it's my turn to cease
My only desire is
You'll hold my hand
In those final seconds
To greet me on the other side