Dive head first
Plummetting into the depths
Knowing jagged rocks
Await below my descent
Deserving of this crash course
Every time I open up
Secrets I keep to myself
Sometimes slip just for advice
Resulting in knowledge I already had
Knowing I'm the reason
My heart always gets blamed
When I feel the pull
That dreaded tug
Ripping my chest open
Just to hold onto her
Even when her hearts in another's hand
I don't need a her
I need the reason to come home
A responsibility to commit
To safety I disregard
As 90 becomes so easy to obtain
I chase my own form of happiness
In the thrill of knowing
Any second
I won't exist
I won't hurt
And the ones I wanted to love me
Will finally see
How without me
Smiles wouldn't have came so easily
I don't mind being that silent one
Taking the punches
Everyone throws wildly
Just to ease a moment of their pain
Subside a demon they ignore
Till it eats them alive
I do it to myself
I know that better than anyone
I just wish
I had someone to calm
The demon I'm becoming
All too friendly with
I need a reason to change
I don't see me achieving it
All by myself
I'm acknowledging
I need someone
When those lonely nights
Start to devour more
Of what I no longer cherish
So when I'm gone
In a fashion I carved my own
Miss me only in the moment
When you needed me the most
For then I'll wash over you
A calming hand
To hold you one more time