The perfect little family
Him short and stout
A mountain mover
Tattoos and gauges
Her even shorter
A sunset lover
Horror flicks and popcorn
A child with sovereign eyes
Torn between homes
Still a happy family
But I woke up
Empty bed emptier house
Just me and a bottle
With the hope I'll see my little girl
The next time I'm allowed to

Chasing affection
Where I'll never deserve it
Seeking gratification
Through a smile
That will never really mean it
High and low
It evades me so perfectly
You'd think love was god
Only answering prayers
To the more fortunate souls
And leaving the lost on read
It's Pointless
This life I try to figure out
Believing where belief
Holds no worth
Hoping when hope
Leads to nothing
Keeping the faith
Despite having nothing to show
For all my devotion
Maybe I'm ungrateful
Oxygen still fills my lungs
Yet pain fills my heart
Is that the price for the air I breathe
It's pointless
So here is my declaration
Independency from my failure soul
I'm giving up
Not going to try anymore
Work, sleep, food
All I'll concern myself with
Take life in strides
That will leave me in a ditch
Rushing full speed
To the six feet that await
I'm over it
Tired of the consistency
Of routine heartache
Just waiting for father time's hands
To align with the stars of my fate
Everything has became
Pencils without lead
Just pointless sticks
Waiting to rot
Or start someone's fire

I've left pieces of it
Not sure if the vultures
Picked at it
Leaving me stranded
In this forest of heartache
All I can do is keep going
Follow sunsets
Run from sunrises
At the end of every day
All I seem to do is pray
This crumbled heart Trail
Will either lead me to you
Or feed me to the wolves

Assembly line
Mass production
Clone after clone
The prototype already destroyed
Before I really knew what love was
One soul
Three heart's
4 women
Soul handed over
Sold over a telephone
Crushed and thrown back in my face
Still she owned it
Her signature forever on it
Heart auctioned off
First hand raised
She never owned it
Just passed down to the kid we had
Another heart forged
Somehow all it took was a flight
With a destination not far from me
And a glimpse at each other
But a car wreck was all it took
To shatter what I thought was great
Back to the crafting table
A failed relationship
My hands wiping her tears
Comfort I provided
Happiness I found
When I woke up next to her
Breath of life
All it took to end
Was a whisper of gossip
And the company of a neighbor
It's what I get for falling
It's what I deserve for trying
So till it finds me
I'll play hide and seek
With cupid's stupid little ***
While he's searching for me
In the opposite direction I'll be
**** this little thing called love
For some reason
It keeps me awake at night
Taunting my poetic nerves
Wishing I had space to scream
And a deal with the reaper
Perhaps then my soul and heart
Would be in the hands
Of the same owner
So I wouldn't have to worry
About making another heart
For someone else to shatter

For so long I've hated myself
Overthinking my inadequacy
Setting personal standards
I never could measure up to
I'm not funny
I'm not cute
Just a furry blob
A disgusting existence
Not suited for any level of affection
Never good enough
For anybody or any certain someone
I was wrong
Stuck in the wrong State of mind
I'm more than enough
Profound in all aspects
It's you're standards overly extended
It's they who aren't worthy
To the love that only I can express
My existence is golden
It's your sight that fails
I've allowed negativity
To exceed in it's success
Drowning my self worth out
If I'm not good enough to you
You were never great enough for me
I need 12pm car rides holding hands
2am cuddle sessions
5:45am coffee
6:30am kisses as I'm off to work
Dances with my daughter
Whenever I get home
Rock paper scissors to see who cooks
I'll probably lose on purpose
Just to give her a break
Foot massages with her favorite show
Cold beer just to end the day
Back to the grind
As the rooster crows
I've been in the wrong State of mind
Too long thinking what I saw
Shaking it's head at me in the mirror
Was the one that was right
I'm simple yet complex
If you can't figure that out
It's your loss not mine
I need reasons to be a kid
In between days of adulting
I need "I love you"
With sincerity that melts me
I don't want to be this tungsten wall
Painted to portray a man
Of 1940s ideals
I need a reason to not be scared
To let emotions run rampant
Finally recycling stockpiled toxins
If it isn't you
Maybe I've been in the wrong State of mind
Telling myself you're the one I needed
When I'm the one you don't want

Inhale
Exhale
Fruits of our labor
Hidden in the breaths we take
Fresh
Stale
Nothing seems to explain
The reasons each one matters
Huff
Puff
Pass out from lack of oxygen
Fatigue sets in
Breathe new life into me
With every prayer
Every second I waste
Compliments to my lack of concern
My life is alot like smoke
Once created
Slowly fades into the stars
There only for the addicted
Once obtained
Brutally abused

Old habits die hard
Maybe I'll stop using
I did for a while
3 months sober
Chased that high
When it knocked again
Playing tag with my doorbell
All it took
Was a ding
Crumbling everything I thought
I had under control
Built Fort Knox within Alcatraz
But before you
And the emotions you stir
Limp blades of torn grass
A butterfly heartbeat
Is all it takes
Before it's laid out before you
A quick surrender
With all the wonders of my essence
From ruby thoughts
Sapphire dreams
Diamond heart
Tungsten devotion
To the rarest gem of all
My senseless addiction to you
And how the sound of your voice
Makes the darkest hour
A vibrant second I never noticed
So I chase an endless high
Relapsing
With every thought of you