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..

We portray whatever it takes --

-

Go on alone
Be weak
..
We are too fragile to care

---

Hurt joy love hate
--

Merge together as a long afternoon merges faces and lives into a mess

Of
Undifferentiated  misunderstanding
--

But it's a game we win at the end we say

For we make up all rules

And we claim the mastery over Fate

-- so it goes and is

Betray  with a kiss

A fake smile

And a ton of hubris

And cold heartedness
 Aug 2013 River Raras
Liam
publish or perish
an expression of ego
sharing or showing
 Aug 2013 River Raras
Anna
Why do I love what you type?
Every tiny pixel, colored black and white
Painting all the colors
Of your burdened life.
(inhale)

I've got a confession and an apology cause I'm really really sorry like a cat left out in the rain I feel all bedraggled but there's nothing I can do about it but baby I'm sorry

(deep breath)

I don't love you.

(sigh)

I just don't love you baby, I don't even like you that way and I feel bad cause I care for you and I don't want to see you hurt but I've got to do it cause like a splinter it'll hurt worse the longer I avoid it and it'll fester and smell and I got to rip it off now quick as I can like a band-aid

(gasp)

It came to me when we were walking that I didn't want to hold your hand in front of everyone and let them see and I'm sorry baby cause I know I been leading you on because I thought I liked you enough that it wouldn't matter but I think I only love your shoulder to sleep on and your coat to cosy up in and I guess I didn't like your lips enough

(gasp)

And you know I'm sorry for leading you on but I think it's not just my fault you see there was something off about you and I've been hearing things about you and her and I don't want to be just a hookup to you cause baby I'm just not like that I need a guy who can stand by me and not just for the weeks that we've known each other cause we're both gonna go home a thousand thousand leagues away might as well be on Pluto

(gasp)

I wish I could love you.
I wish I could hate you.
This in-between-ness is just- distasteful. 

(sigh)

I'm sorry.

(exhale)
 Aug 2013 River Raras
Ellenah
I’m done with the disappointment
With the heartache and tears
I’m done with the promises
Always postponed, never fulfilled

I'm finished with the "I love you"s
With the confusion between truths and sweet nothings
I’m spent with the let downs
With the excuses and "I’m sorry”s

I say I am finished with the romance
With the kisses and heartbreaks
Yet my every wish it to have such
To be wrapped in a lovers arms; to be loved

I say I am done with the disappointment
With the heartache and the tears
But I have yet to give it up
Nor do I honestly want to.
 Aug 2013 River Raras
Ting-Jun
The sun would bow at your command,
The stars to freeze in your presence.
For you I'd find a way
To spend a night up in the heavens
Along with the moon and its impish grin.

*To the man I'd yet to meet:
Strangers
That’s just a catastrophe
When I get lost and you cannot find me
When I'm a catacomb, and you think I'm a synagogue

Love isn’t what you think
It's not you ******* up everything I do
It's not even me trying to write about your stupidity
It's not my family, hating you ever after

Do you think we can have a baby?
Or can you imagine both of us as partners in crime?
Wait, shut up, am I being selfish,
Cherishing myself to death, blasphemously

You have to know, I am a boy
I am a girl sometimes
I am transgendered, but that doesn’t mean I cannot cry.
I can hurt you and the feeling will equal to your mother’s death

Zoanthropy, I can be.
Authority, Military, Nudism, you and me.
I can make you ***** and smile
This ongoing process I get every day from coexisting with your picture

Who the hell are you, anyway?
Do I already know you, felt you, grab your genitals?
Isn't that a pity, cause I still play the sensitive type
While I'm the ***** ad the pure prostitution
Ironically
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