Do we become artists because we are lonely, or do we feel lonely because we are artists?

Everyone loves artists and their art, but often only after they are gone. Few people truly love them while they are still there.

Its the dynamic of depth, it drowns others.. but what the artist sees, and manages to transmute, often awe inspires those who aren't at such depths..

Loneliness is something I have-been fighting all my life, until I stopped and accepted it... I have such a deep understanding of myself and others that I can hardly feel depressed, except for the my own egos flairs... and yet I am so deeply lonely.

I am at peace with it most of the time, but sometimes I need to feel the touch of skin, the breath on the my neck, the quickening of my heartbeat to know that am still alive and not some dead poet wandering between "ifs" and "maybes", trapped in the words of an eternal poem of longing.

First, a gathering - a coalescing of mist,
Shapeless vapors given form, a droplet born.
Buoyant, it rises, a fragile orb of being,
Drifting with purpose, a path yet uncharted.

Through currents unseen, it dances and drifts,
Accumulating experiences, ever-evolving.
Colliding, dispersing, reforming anew -
A constant state of flux, a never-ending flow.

Yet all the while, the droplet retains
A sense of self, a boundary, a "me."
Until, inevitably, the walls start to thin,
The borders to blur, the entity to flee.

Slowly, gently, it merges once more
With the endless expanse, the boundless whole.
No longer a droplet, distinct and apart,
But a humble tributary, rejoining the soul.

Such is the nature of all that we are -
Temporary expressions of a greater design.
Ephemeral forms, ever-changing, ever-flowing,
Bubbles upon the surface of the divine.

God I get so busy sometimes
Sometimes busy doing nothing
Sometimes just sitting here
Doing literally nothing
Almost feeling cursed
Day in day out
Like I'm chained
I feel little control
I feel my body breaking
A new chronic pain
Another migraine
Another depressive state
Some how though
I need to fit work
Also food and rest
Oh my friends
I've not forgotten
My family
they see me
much less.
I'm sorry