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Jul 2023 · 247
Is this really love?
Cc Jul 2023
I am tearing you apart
You love me
And I frustrate you
More than anything
Is this really love?
Feb 2023 · 98
Home
Cc Feb 2023
I feel betrayed by this body that holds me
This body which is built to keep me safe
To harbour me from life’s storm
To me it is a house
Rather than a home.
Feb 2023 · 132
Never again
Cc Feb 2023
I lifted my head as my mind heard tapping
His arms tightened around me
It’s okay
He said through sleep enticed mumbles
There’s nothing there

Nothing will hurt you as long as I’m here.
Nov 2022 · 99
Unanswered questions
Cc Nov 2022
Do you still think about us in your car?
Do you miss the way we used to talk.

Do you hate me for what I did?
Did you ever hate me at all.

Am I the girl you talk about
when people ask you your regrets?

Did you realise the last time we talked
this was always how it would end?

Are you okay in this big bad world?
Have you found another me.

Do you wonder if I’m in love?
Do you care that I’m happy.

Do you wish that we could meet again
if only to ask all these in person?

Do you listen to our songs?
Or do you prefer the silence.
Oct 2022 · 117
Everything is just bad
Cc Oct 2022
I think I am suspended in a nowhere place

It doesn’t get better
Oct 2022 · 114
Turning out part three
Cc Oct 2022
I hope you treat her differently
I hope you realise being sick in the head is no excuse to treat us like ****

I hope you realise I loved you so much I walked away.
Sep 2022 · 106
Closure
Cc Sep 2022
I’m so angry with us
How we played our cards until the bittersweet end.
But more than that, I’m angry I’ll never get closure.
It feels like there’ll be a hole inside of me until the day I die
A hole that craves to look you in the eye and apologise.
A want to go our seperate ways.
And forget each other forever.
Sep 2022 · 98
Do you want to go back?
Cc Sep 2022
I saw your playlist
Like a bridge between your taste in music
And mine
And ours.
There’s an ‘ours’ now, isn’t there.
Aug 2022 · 92
Two halves of a whole
Cc Aug 2022
I think
No matter what
I always see myself coming back to you
Jul 2022 · 610
Mirror image
Cc Jul 2022
Sometimes you look at me
Like I imagine I would look at myself.
You can see the absolute worst in me, can’t you?
You hide it very well,
I’ll give you that.
Jul 2022 · 87
Girl who cried wolf
Cc Jul 2022
Is it so wrong that maybe
Just for once
I want to be the one being saved
Jul 2022 · 258
I dreamed you loved me
Cc Jul 2022
I am in a nowhere place
I thought it was getting better
Whatever ‘it’ was.
But it’s back.
And so are you.
May 2022 · 159
Occupational hazard
Cc May 2022
Well look at us all
On this little page
Aren’t we pretentious
Playing god as if our words will last any longer than the press of a refresh button
Cc May 2022
I haven’t had to become friends in a while
I’m somebody else
Until you know me
Cc Mar 2022
You will always be a promise I regret making
Mar 2022 · 230
You are like a Band-Aid
Cc Mar 2022
Maybe
I’m doing worse
Than I thought I was
Mar 2022 · 80
Butterflies
Cc Mar 2022
I remember a time when kissing you after weeks away felt exciting and new
When butterflies felt good
A sign that we were okay

Now i will kiss you
There is no such feeling
Only home
Jan 2022 · 232
Vices
Cc Jan 2022
I want to lose myself to my unhealthy urges
Piece by piece
I want to **** you off until you stay because you have to
Because you’re afraid of what I’ll do if you don’t
I want to open my mouth and lungs and let the water flood in
I want to flail in my mistakes
Dec 2021 · 163
Copy cat
Cc Dec 2021
I have lost sight of the person you long for me to be
All I do now is imitate her every move
In the hopes you will not notice
I will never be enough
Nov 2021 · 258
Fix you
Cc Nov 2021
I am almost confident that I will never feel as whole as I did helping you break apart piece by piece
Nov 2021 · 485
Human condition
Cc Nov 2021
i think we are people
and as people we are lost
but sometimes
we find a home
Nov 2021 · 243
I will not lie to you
Cc Nov 2021
I don’t know why it’s so hard for me to write love poems
I guess it’s so much easier to be in hate than in love
And my words reflect my actions
As true as my heart
Oct 2021 · 104
I hate fedoras
Cc Oct 2021
I can’t look at rimmed hats without thinking about you
How ******* stupid is that?
Cc Oct 2021
It never strikes first when the wound is fresh
It waits, waits as long as it needs to
It watches you think:
‘maybe I’m just a fast healer. Maybe they just didn’t mean that much to me.’
It waits until you’ve found what you think is peace with the situation.
It waits until you are walking along that old street on a Thursday at three
and smell someone’s cologne from a block away and your brain immediately associates that smell with them and suddenly there is this
little lump in your throat that hasn’t been there for a long time
It waits until you pass that store name you made fun of together five months ago because the i looks like an L
That store is closing down
And all of a sudden you can’t breath
It waits,
especially,
for when you are spring cleaning your closet and find a folded note that must have fallen down the side of your drawer and gotten lost because you could have sworn you threw out all of their ****
And of course you read the note because
How could you not
And you remember why you threw their stuff away
Because then
Then it hits you
One thousand times stronger than it should ever be
Oct 2021 · 399
Worship me
Cc Oct 2021
I only feel pretty when I’m wearing makeup
Or being adored by you
Oct 2021 · 92
Watch me wilt
Cc Oct 2021
I can feel every single one of my bones shrinking away from its potential
I am wilting
I am weak and I am wilting
It’s not a thing that calls for pity
It’s a display of disgust
I am hideous and you will look at me
Cc Oct 2021
I’m alone no matter what I do
But god, it’s nice to be alone and in love with you
Oct 2021 · 100
We are one and the same
Cc Oct 2021
I want to write beautiful poetry
But you are not beautiful you are a ****
A **** like prickly grass,
Not like dandelions
Everything tangible and sweet is cancelled out by you
And I’m so tired of fighting
Maybe I am like prickly grass too
Oct 2021 · 441
An apology note to my heart
Cc Oct 2021
I’m so sorry
But I’m gonna need you to be strong for me
Just a little longer
Cc Oct 2021
Every mile I drive away from you
It feels like another chance
Cc Oct 2021
I’ve finally left you behind
For months I’ve been haunted by the city we both dreamed about
But now I’m free
Oct 2021 · 83
Who you were
Cc Oct 2021
What’s the word for
I hate you
But god I miss the way we were
Oct 2021 · 1.2k
My eyes
Cc Oct 2021
Would you like to see the world through my eyes?
Take a painting
One you adore
And put a film of grey across it
The picture is still there, you know it is
But all of a sudden it’s not as beautiful
And you just can’t figure out why
Oct 2021 · 97
Someone else
Cc Oct 2021
I think
Maybe today
I would like to be someone else
Oct 2021 · 322
Grand plan
Cc Oct 2021
Maybe we are simply designed to be sad
Our pieces come together just to break over and over again
No super glue is strong enough for that
Sep 2021 · 181
Depollute me
Cc Sep 2021
Carve his name from my mind with a 6 inch steel knife
Give me everything he could never be
Convince me to stay
Convince me to be good
Sep 2021 · 198
One push
Cc Sep 2021
I don’t think I’m strong
I think I’m lucky
Sep 2021 · 67
Window to the soul
Cc Sep 2021
After all these months of forgetting
It’s still your god ****** eyes
I remember those grey tortured pools as if I was looking into them now
Sep 2021 · 252
Did you notice me?
Cc Sep 2021
You walked past me today
I didn’t know until after you were gone
A tall boy in a coat pretending to be older than he is
Hiding behind sadness because it’s the only thing he knows
A cigarette burning your lungs
How ironic
Sep 2021 · 72
When I grow up
Cc Sep 2021
I would like to say I hope we can look back on us and smile someday in the future
The truth is, I don’t think I’ll ever see you again after we say goodbye
Sep 2021 · 77
Borrowed time
Cc Sep 2021
I remember the moment I decided I was gone
From that moment all our time felt borrowed
I don’t know if you felt it
You started holding me tighter
I think you knew it wouldn’t matter in the end
Sep 2021 · 320
Storm clouds
Cc Sep 2021
Maybe some day I’ll write a poem that isn’t about you
Man, what a light hearted poem that’ll be
Cc Sep 2021
This is for the swing set down by the lake
The holiday you ruined while I tried to keep you alive

This is for all the times you convinced me to stay on the phone
Knowing there was nothing I could do

This is for the mental health I lost
And the nights of sleep too

This is for sitting in the library clutching a stone To ground myself because I lost everything that made me who I was

This is for sitting in your stupid ******* car
Trying to fill the silence with anything other than sadness

This is for convincing me you cared about me
And not my therapy sessions

This is for ripping me apart from my friends
And playing dumb

This is for manipulating me into staying
Because you knew I wouldn’t leave a broken soul like you
Not when I could do good
Not when I could
                                   Fix you

This is for the sloppy kissing
For trusting you enough to fall asleep on you

This is for every other woman you’ve hurt
Because you will never ******* change

This is for being afraid to attend University
In fear of seeing you
And spiralling again

This is for still caring what you think about me
Despite what you did

This is for using me even now
And sending me a message after months of letting go

This is for the nights of tension with the person I love

This is for being able to listen to songs with new meaning
And the worried look on my parents face

This is for feeling like I’ll never be whole again
And convincing myself it’s my fault

This is for every time I sit in silence
And feel deafeningly alone

This is for convincing me without you
I was nothing

This is for psychological problems I will never fix
And scars and wounds that will stay with me for as long as I live

This is for my shaky hands
And my lungs that just can’t breath enough air

This is for being a coward in the ways that always mattered

This is for making me feel like I had a choice

For the cassettes, the recordings, the trinkets and gifts
The days we spent painting that stupid telephone

This is for looking at your playlists and searching for a trace of me
For being desperate to move on yet glued to the idea of you

This is for all the memories you left me with
And the hope you kept giving and taking

This is for the life you’ll live
And the people you’ll tell

This is for hurting me
And for me caring
Sep 2021 · 1.3k
Just another sad girl
Cc Sep 2021
I’m so sick of hurting myself
Why did you have to make yourself out to be the good guy
Sep 2021 · 76
Destiny
Cc Sep 2021
There are some people who are destined in this life to fall in love

some who are destined to meet the right person at the wrong time

Us?

we were destined to bring out the worst in each other
and stick to each other because of it
Sep 2021 · 254
I wish I was drunk
Cc Sep 2021
I’m so sick of seeking distractions from life
When will life cease to be inhibitions and start to feel like living
Sep 2021 · 239
Courage
Cc Sep 2021
Anyone can die
It takes courage to live
Aug 2021 · 86
Self aware
Cc Aug 2021
I only write poetry in the hopes that you’ll see it
I hate you but I’m still an attention seeker
Aug 2021 · 83
Nobody cared
Cc Aug 2021
I laid down on the concrete to stare at the pinpricks of light scattering the black fabric of the sky
to feel anything
but all I felt was cold
Cc Aug 2021
i don’t think you will ever understand the full extent of what you did to me

and I will never give you the satisfaction of knowing
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