i'll make mixtapes we can lay down rubber in parking lots call out our joy and anger which are almost the same thing anyway i will cry at night but you will lick the salt like a wild deer pepper me with small bruises drive in our underwear just to feel skin sticking to something make contact with your hair as it billows in and out of the car in and out of sight make contact with the only part of your body that is not warm stop only in small towns that keep their stories close in those towns press silky moonlight to the warm parts of your body like poems like slits of light to let the light in through smoke and eat hanging out of the windows pretend we are leaving crumbs to find our way home with but never come back anyways anyways

Words and Music by Josh Garrels

Children of the Earth
Once dust but now alive
Livin’ in tents of flesh and bone
We hold spiritual fire.
Set a flame in my heart
Illuminate the darkest hours
Where I wait before the dawn
To see the glory and the power
Of the Lord

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

The older we become
We must become more like a child
Believin’ there’s a land that lies beyond
All things that we’ve seen
Make my mind free from fears
You know I can’t do it on my own
The way is high,
But we could fly over
When you heal our wings.

We sing

Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah

This song is so simple yet means so much to me.  There are so many things to comment on, but the one line that is applying most significantly to my life right at this moment is:

“Set a flame in my heart, illuminate the darkest hours, where I wait before the dawn to see the glory and the power of the Lord.”

I feel the flame of the Holy Spirit burning within, and yet I continually try to put it out, allowing darkness to set in.  Oh that the Lord would end me and show His glory and His power.  May the dawn of His redeeming grace burn like the fire on Mount Carmel, through the water and the trench, making all my sinful darkness be extinguished by perfect Light.  I believe! Only help my unbelief.

I had to look up
the word
'dating'
on Urban Dictionary
because I didn't know
what we were,
what we are.

And it said things like
'a socially acceptable
form of prostitution' and
'feelings of
puppy love that usually
dissolve
in a few weeks'.

But this is
not
puppy love.
This is not going to
dissolve or
fizzle out or
whatever,
you're not a
fizzle
you're a *******
fireworks display.

And you turn
everything in my head
into this
multi-coloured
turbulence and
I can't keep up with
how much I
adore you.

But the thing is
I don't know
if your view
is as good as mine.
What if you're
looking at something
a little less
beautiful.

What if I'm your
fizzle.

What if I'm as
temporary
as the flame you use
to light the
cigarettes
you find more
addictive
than my touch.

If that's the case
I'd rather
I left you
craving.

Because
if I'm your flame
you're my
forest fire
and you're burning
it all down until
the only thing left
standing is
you.

And I'll walk for
miles across this
carpet of ashes
just to feel the
softness of your skin
against mine.

And I'll cough
and I'll splutter
on toxic smoke
but you'll just
breathe it in because
you never realised anything
was even
lost.

You don't see me
crawl
you just know that
I'm here,
I'm here
I made it
I'm yours
I'll always be yours
because there's
nothing else
left.

And maybe
I can be
content with that
if only
you will see
that
you could burn down
everything
and I still
wouldn't put you
out.

i'd like to spend a night with you
without armor, covering
without  distance, separating

i'd like to spend a night with you
without obscurity, muting
without silence, encroaching  

i'd like to take down these walls
that cling, like some strange disease
and cause me to bleed

i'd like openness and clarity
to approach me  
to embrace me
and allow me
to be cured
finally

I remember when
thinking about you
wasn't the
most toxic
thing
I could do