"I think I'm falling in love." She said with a slight quiver in her voice, scared of what I'd say or do next. I looked at her, I dared to ask, "Who? Who could possibly be worthy of you?" She turned around and then turned back, she looked me in the eyes with her big, beautiful blue eyes and said, "Only you." And she grabbed my face and kissed me with such passion, I think I would've passed out.


Good thing she was there to catch me.

We sit down
Take notes
And
The copying begins.

I write everything down
Till my hand starts to ache.
I look over at your set
But then back at mine.
The only difference
Was that I didn't have
Her name
Written all over it.
                                                        On the top.
         On the sides.

                          On the bottom.
Everywhere.

torie
Written in hearts and with
Love.

If only you knew that I
Do the same with yours.

Seems to me like we're
F
  A
     L
        L
           I
             N
                G
But to where?
I don't know.
Most likely
Down
Or possibly even
In love.

How can one be
So sure?

Stop telling me I'm gorgeous,
I'm nothing.
Stop telling me im pretty,
I'm fat.
It's unhealthy,
My weight,
My feelings are slowly
Deminishing...

I'm falling to deep
I would cry for help
But
Nobody would hear me anyways.

All the girls dress
to ****.
So do I but in a far less
pleasurable way.
Holding perfectly still.
Hey, maybe you'll stay.

All the girls are in high heels.
I stopped wearing them
On the same day I quit caring if
I was the right kind of *****.

Shimmery sparkles, clean lace,
Silk, and leather
Weave them in a quivering case
Create their invisible tether.

Whiskey and wine
Bubbling up
Numbing up
Coming right up!
Girls dress to ****
And they will.

I like this.
This freeing feeling.
Being away from you,
Has somehow let me,
Become new.

Now, I'm realizing,
That you were a crutch.
Enabling me,
My pain.

Because when there was a "we"
There wasn't..
It was you,
And me,
Two people,
Tangled in thorn bushes of distrust.

I'm not saying I didn't love you.
I'm not saying I don't now.
I'm just thinking,
Maybe it was leaning,
More towards infatuation.
Which led to strangulation.
Suffocation.
No breathing.
Wire ties, tied so tight,
They cut the skin,
And left us wounded,
Openly bleeding.

Maybe we were meant for seperation.
A trial, meant for error,
Maybe we were meant to hurt,
Feel the pain we caused eachother,
And learn,
Then make better choices based on the lesson,
And so on.

Maybe being together,
Taught us its better that we're apart.
And also, that after awhile,
The pain stops coming back,
And we learn to move on,
Like I'm finally starting to.
Because let's face it,
I said I was fine,
But I was practically dead for a while,
Faking a smile for your benefit,
And crying behind the comfort of closed doors.
Turning up the radio way too loud,
And screaming until my throat was raw.

Why do you think I wouldn't sing for you?
Even after I promised to.
Not only the nervousness,
But, also being scared that you'd notice,
Notice the difference in my voice,
When I try to hit the higher notes.
I've screamed myself sick so many times,
My voice has changed,
There's a certain aspect to it,
The over all raspy tone,
And it would have killed me for you to notice.

For the longest time,
I was so afraid of you peeling back the layers,
And seeing the reckless hatred for myself,
But now, I honestly don't care.
I will cry and scream, and just let it go from now on.
Because I can no longer live in hiding.
I'm done.
And not just hiding from you, either.
Everyone.

I will roll my sleeves up,
And take these ******* bracelets off.
I will no longer be ashamed of these marks I've created.
They do not define me.
I am not that girl anymore.
She was never me.
And I will never again become her.
You know why?
Because for the first time,
In a long time,
I'm ******* free.
All because of a little bit of seperation,
And mental disconnection.

.

.