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I still think of you every day
I still remember your light
I still remember your pain
I still remember the promises that we made
I still regret that it all went away
I still miss your lips across my neck
I still miss your breath upon my face
I still wish you were here with me and I still have the heart that you gave
the way your hand felt
sliding up my shirt
the other one making its efforts
to unbutton my jeans
you were trembling
it must have been scary
to be so new at this
knowing how many times
I have been here
your innocence was alluring
I wanted it
and you gave it to me
so happily and willingly
you'll always be
a hopeless romantic
for a lady who
can write.
Night after night
you find a way
to get under my skin
      I have not a single ounce
      of love to give you anymore
      it has been replaced with hatred
           You don't necessarily deserve
            what I have put you through
            but you reap what you sow, *****
                I never expected you to be more
                than what you were capable of being
                apparently that was asking too much
                     So here I sit and write
                     to the man I thought I loved
                     who turns out to be nothing more
                                     than a boy
                                      a coward
                                      a phony
                                            -
All I wanted was to go to the beach
to smell the fresh salt air
feel the sand between my toes
I had you in my arms
I had you in my arms
But the ocean was a building
and the sand was a series of hallways
Before I knew it, I was back at the hospital
needles and machines poking and prodding
Doctors and nurses shouting and running
like the mindless drones I know them to be
But still,
I had you in my arms
I had you in my arms
You were the only one
who believed in me
when I said I didn't want to die
You were the only one.

-

Nothing like a good ol' fashioned nightmare
to rattle your spirits and twist your stomach
nothing can compare to
making love with you
underneath the moonlight
your fingertips pressing
into every inch of me
the arch of my spine
the union of our souls
your lips taste like love
but to be completely honest
that terrifies me more than anything
I poured my love into you
like red wine into a glass
and you drank
and you drank
until you were sloppy
until I was empty
-
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