lately i find myself wanting to
close my hands around something that doesn’t exist
and it’s just as frustrating as it sounds.
i’m forever chasing castles on clouds
but settling for shingle roofs.

i talk in circles until i'm dizzy
because i'm scared to break the cycle.
when every thought feels borrowed or stolen,
where does originality come from?
when is anything ever truly just ours?
there are hash marks on my walls
of every day i have spent in this cage.
what happens when i run out of room?

when i say "i miss you"
i don't mean the current person who stands before me.
i mean the one you were
before the complications in calculations
and labels on boxes.
i just want you back

i went to the dentist's office today
and found out, for the first time, i have two cavities.
i almost laughed because
i actually felt as though the outside reflected the inner.
the dentist used the word "decay"
and i had never felt more understood.
finally, a word for this sick green hollowness.
i think this is what i have become,
just rotted teeth, one by one.

the room spins and the earth spins
and it's an ecstatic kind of vertigo
to have your life turned upside down,
to watch the dismantling of a metropolitan city.

a treasure of classic poetry,
oh how i wish you'd read to me.
sing it sweet and low in my ear,
for only you and me to hear.
it shall be my best kept secret.

your favorite pine, the breathless static.
the bold month fades away
and you go with it.