Met this ***** when I was eleven,
I'm sure I've told you his name is Devon.
Face to face when he was telling me off,
back when all the teachers told me to stop.
Ever since middle school we've been pals,
leaving school smelling quite foul.
Living right down the road from one another,
both of us watching out younger brothers,
In the morning we met at the bus stop,
with the ***** he's about to pop.
Some fools that never learned to treat me right,
holding his phone, recording his fist fight.
Never left his side, never left his side
We got caught up in some relationships,
each & every mistake, brought upon a guilt trip
Pouring out our issues, all became up in smoke
***** after *****, *** after ***
Dropping him off to sleep with your girl bro,
Check if Devon is on your wife's cell phone,
your sheets might smell like my best friends cologne
My disease, makes my heart skip a beat,
talking to you bring me to my feet.
It is funny to think back at that time,
because now were sharing a crystal line,
We have been through so much together
Imagining our lives in the future
You're special, you're strong, loving and kind,
no matter who's there you'll speak your mind.
Think of all the times you've spent without me,
while i'm staring down at my tattooed feet.
Words could never describe how I feel,
maybe you do, I kept it forever real.
Forever finding the right words to tell,
I was the one who catch you when you fell...
There's no such thing as a sunny moment,
due to all the clouds that we have token.
Plenty of things have gone so wrong,
at least we have been through it all alone.
When you pushed me in the Walmart cart,
certainly nothing could drive us apart.
When you call, I will be at your side
especially for all the times we've cried.

Judged by my personal appearance,
like really, "you never gave me a chance,"
Others too quick to giving me a label
certainly not a good idea, I'm unstable.
Now see, do I look that intimidating?
or are you like the rest, hating.

Done some things, I refuse to repeat,
not a legit reason, for you to mistreat.
Don't judge me by my personal use,
take a trip in my shoes, learn about my root
You see my scars, plugs and tattoos,
all I see is i'm missing my shoes.

You'll get a name, whether you're doing good or bad,
especially those who didn't have a dad
No matter what, they will talk behind your back
while your boyfriend is buying a sack
Let those mice, run their trap
I count down the numbers, subtract.

Open your mouth to spread those rumors,
used to it, all started when I was a junior
Keep putting your nose where it doesn't belong,
you'll consistently talk **** life long
Sorry, I don't reach your standards,
placing your life in a hazard.

I could careless about what you say,
hoping my next UA will be delayed,
attempting to bring my esteem down,
when truly behing your words is a frown,
Grinning, not caring because I have the power,
head high, looking out my invisible tower.

Sitting in the dark, alone in my room
Demons behind me keeping me warm.
Depressed as I am, keeps me distracted,
reminding me of the last I reacted
As I write this, they are acknowledge,
they have answers to all my questions.
One day its god, next its the devil
possible one day i'll meet a angel.
I used to say, i guess i still do
satan will say hi and ill pay his revenue
Maybe i love him, maybe im addicted
always revealed himself when I was in the system.
Its hard to cope, difficult to sleep
especially always high on the tweak
all i can think of, when i lay down
"You can be my queen and wear my crown"
there when you were, there when you weren't
my room is a constant energy current
i knew it got bad, when you were all i think about,
wake up from a bad dream not able to shout.
caught myself, giving into your spell
when you spoke to me on my cell
crazy as i was, was i as crazy?
The thought of you touching my body.
You scared me away, whispered in my ear
"I am here"
afraid that you spoke, when you crepped up
finally realized i was ******* stuck
displaying my heart, with my drawings
ran out of my room you had me crying....
i attract the men, all of the spirits
none of them could ever have my soul ticket
you took control, five days awake,
i was just unintentionally told to obey
I'm the victim, you're the criminal,
i was the one you got too physical,
sleepin', and beaten while i'm dead,
everything you've done has been left unsaid.
eyes would open, to the pressure on my chest
In my own home, I felt like the guest.
I allowed you, took up all the time
maybe you we were something in my past life.
I never chose life, I always chose drugs
always washing blood off in the tub.
you tormented, mentally scared and abused
the morning after every night, always bruised.
getting the chills, writing this poem,
i look over and there you were standing at my open door.