i have never felt more of an obligation to slit open my wrists than i do now.

wish me luck, I'm leaving soon. the plane is going and I won't ever be the same.

it's a number.
it's a date.
it's a girl.

enchanting.
wonderfully made,
exquisite.

salmon and sushi,
root beer floats,
touched by an angel.

it's 2 in the morning.
phone calls with
laughter.

it's eyes that follow.
lips that caress.
tears that
stream.

maybe love.
we're lucky,
aren't we?

something says
goodbye.
it isn't
me.

when he said, "this is
my note, after all, thats
what people do, right?
leave a note?" my heart
completely caved
      >     in.    <

when my teacher said
that a lot of people
commit suicide due to
bullying or because they
feel unaccepted,
i raised my hand to
speak up about the
facts.


the true facts.

how more than half of the
homeless teenage population
are gay. they were kicked out
by their mums and dads.

how its not just the
bullying, how its
them too.

they feel so alone and
we always wonder why
there is a new name in
the paper saying,
"Suicide--Age --"
and yet because of
someone being p    u s h  e       d
to                                                      far

it made them take
their own life.

i wish i could stop
suicides,
i wish for once
i could be the one who
closed the door on
death.

but im no rolemodel,
i always let death
back in.

but that doesnt mean i
wont help you take
him out.

"How are you doing, baby girl?
I miss you so much, beautiful."

There was a man who constantly harassed and insulted the Buddha, throwing all sorts of verbal abuse at him. But the Buddha never seemed fazed by this. When someone asked why he didn’t take offense, he simply replied, *"If someone gives you a gift and you refuse to accept it, to whom does the gift belong?""

you were an *******
and I was so tired of being **** on.

You made it a point to make sure that I knew how you felt and what you wanted, but I can't seem to bring myself to understand nor to think that you could ever actually want me.

In the bible
They say death
Is a lie but
If I'm already
Dead then
Why should I
Even care?

I wish to tell him how
happy she makes me.
     But, sadly I do not know
his views on homosexuality.

no, i've never known it, but my God, i surely know this isn't it

I'd go to the edge of the universe if it meant that I would be able to show you just how beautiful you absolutely are.

I want this more than anything now; I need this more than anything now.

All I remember was waking up with
my nose next to yours
and our breath in sync
like we were
one.

we both were stirred from our slumber when
you smiled and said, "Hello."
I opened my eyes, smiled at your sweet smile,
and said, "Good morning."
We looked at one another for awhile before you
asked how I was doing, how I was feeling, and
if my dreams so far had been sweet.
I told you I was okay and that I was feeling better.
It was the first time you've ever seen me cry.
I had never planned on it, and I mumbled how sorry
I was the entire time, but you still tried your best to console me.

My dreams had been awful, but all I said was that I couldn't remember.
I didn't want to keep you up any longer, because we both needed sleep.
So I asked you the same questions, and then I said that we should try to sleep again.
You snuggled back into your pillow with your adorable yellow blanket and
with your glasses on and I said, "I really appreciate you, okay?"
Your face became serious as you told me that you feel the same for me as well.

"Goodnight, please have sweet dreams. You deserve them."

"you and i, lets just go to sleep, okay?"
"okay."
"okay?"
"okay."
"i could do this all night, you know."
"as could i."
"goodnight, okay?"
"sweet dreams...okay.
"this isn't a john green book, okay?"
"okay."
"******."

my doctor said i'm not suicidial.
my mom said i'm being dramatic and
its all for attention.
my sister says i like my doctor.
my friends, i'm not sure what they think.

i don't think i'm okay.
i think i am suicidal,
i think this is very much true,
i do like my doctor, but not like that,
and oh dear friends, what should i do?

i've tried far too many times to **** myself without success.
there must be a reason i'm still here, right?
or maybe no reason at all besides the fact that i'm just
incredibly terrible at killing myself.

walking up and down the aisles of
one of my favorite stores only
reminded me more of the
last time we kissed and
how it didn't really
cross my mind at
all that it would
be our last
one.

Please stop.

Please stay.

You're death.

I **** you not,
I'm falling for your eyes.

you became my lungs
and without you it was so hard to breathe.

I just wish that I could hear your voice all the time.

i'd give my heart to you if i could, but you deserve a heart that's warm to the touch and still beating on the inside.

*(these walls are frozen and i can't allow you to be turned cold like i am)

I know we both don't regret it,
so I'd like to say thank you for
breaking up with me,
because it was exactly what we
both needed.

I've been watching my calories lately,
I've had 395 today.
Which, I will maybe go try and
Burn some off cause
I want to be able to
Eat dinner tonight.

Who ******* cares?

You know nothing.

They're all gone.

I'm already there

your hands on me feel about as right and equally as wrong as my taste for both women and men is.

I let myself eat today
because she watched
my careful bites.
If she wouldn't have been
I probably would've just
stared down at my plate
feeling the twists and
twinges of pain inside
of my body as I
lick my lips.

I like this feeling because
I can control it
and nobody can shove food
down my mouth because
you wouldn't be able to tell
if I've eaten or not
and until I get to that point again
*I don't think I'll ever stop.

You can only see me for what's in-between my legs, can't you?

I counted.
At first I thought it was 40.
Then I counted again--
42.
Then I counted again--
42.

They're burning and they
Remind me of what I cannot fix.