guess that makes two of us

if humans did not discriminate like mental illness does not, then the world might have the only sickness that could keep its broken, bleeding heart still pumping: unconditional and never-ending love.

and even on my weakest days im still getting stronger.

The Stars talk to me from behind the clouds, but they only tell me bad things now.

I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that, unfortunately, I have fallen for you. The good news? Well, it's that you'll never know.

I woke up feeling fresh and renewed, because I know He has a plan for me.

Everything is just a great big
"I don't know!"
Right now.

His lips caressed mine and it reminded me that not everyone is like you.

i'm worried i won't make it, i'm worried i can't take it.
i just can't keep hanging on, and i don't think i will for long.

You're lucky, at least you have someone. Most of us have no one at all.

he is the calm before the storm
and he is the eye of a hurricane.
while rushing winds roar all around me,
he is what keeps me steady and
on my feet amongst the
ferocious times around.
he is the sweet calmness
and you can tell by
the way his fingers
grab my sides sweetly
and his mouth travels d
                                          o
                                            w
                                               n
to places undiscovered
that he knows how to
appreciate and touch a
woman's body.

you kissed with such a mix of
tenderness and hunger that it
made me wonder how someone so
strong could suddenly be so
vulnerable and gentle.

and i know i said yes,
but i'm starting to think that
no would've been the correct answer.

And I believe I did something extraordinary today. I smiled at him. I saw him in the hallway and I smiled at him. He didn't smile back, in fact, he looked away. Almost as if he was so consumed with shame, that by looking at me would make it pour out from his unforgivable heart. But the thing about is that I've forgiven him and her and the whole situation. I still can't look at her, but I'm getting to that point. It'll probably take awhile, but that's okay. I'm not on anybody's schedule except my own and I will take as long as I need to heal from this. Maybe it will take a few more days or maybe it'll take a few months. But I will not let you take me down, so that you could feel better. I did something extraordinary today and maybe it won't seem like it to anyone else, but to me it was a step towards a new life. A better life.

and nothing is stopping me now, baby.
i know i'll have you soon enough and
i promise that this will start off right.

i keep wanting to tell you what i think about this, but instead i keep quiet so i don't ruin anything else in my life

and all sins are the same in the sight of God, but all sins have different kinds of consequences.

My last love letter to you is coming soon; and so is the calm of the storm.

in matters of the heart,
I am dying.
in matters of everything else?
I'm doing just fine.

You look at me and my dormant heart beats once again at the sight of you.

you asked me why i didn't kiss you like i kissed him and i just said i couldn't because i didn't see you in that way, and i thought i remembered you smiling and saying thank you, but the more i think about it, i really remember the tension in the air and the tightness of your grip of your hands on your steering wheel in the moonlight.

My emotions confuse me, yet I still know what I want.
It's the same as what I've been wanting for awhile.
I just know that I won't get it unless I try.
But even then I still might not
succeed.

they know*
Get ready for all of Hell to break loose

and in our very essence, we are very good.
It is a heresy to believe otherwise.

shes the
universe
in one
swift
motion.

and I wonder if you feel it too.

how many hearts will you have to break to see what you've done?

And you did something to me. You put the blood back into my veins and you made me feel again.

Am I selfish for wanting to take care of myself more than anyone else right now?

and with you, it's starting to feel like spring instead of the cold winter I had known for so long.

and I do not belong in this body, at least not most of the time.

and I don't just want to be a temptation and I most certainly do not want to be owned.

I will not let my sadness get the best of me. *I will win again.

"I'm just worried about you. Please don't let any of this bring you to the point of death."

*"Hasn't it already?"

he said that he saw you at the game
sitting all alone
looking around and
waiting for something,
it seemed.
he said that I had walked past and
he watched you as you stared at me
as I walked by.
what were you thinking?
why won't you say a word to me?
i'm completely lost and
absolutely confused.
please, just say
something.

i can't keep giving someone the best of me just to keep watching them choose someone else.

We all start from the bottom.
But now I'm slowly relearning how to climb back to the top.

i have not seen you today-
nor yesterday-
nor the day before that-
and so on.
i have not seen you in several days and
yet i can not stop thinking about your voice.
i hear you in books
and the way the rain falls on my lips
and with every step i take through a puddle--
i hear your muddled voice praying through the hot summer
for me to stay alive just one more day.

you did not know wether i would stay or if i would go.
but, if i were to tell you that i only stayed for you,
would you have loved me back in time?

maybe all of those prayers were wishes
and those wishes were thoughts
and those thoughts were nothing.

I feel like I bother you, but I just can't stay away.

Go any lower and you'll expose what's left of your rutted and fragmented heart.

you're not an idiot
you're just not the person I thought you were

and in the light of eternity, does this really matter?
*no, no it doesn't.

It doesn't matter what time of day it is anymore; I'm a dead man walking.

i just want him to dance with me, all throughout the night.
to tell me that I'm lovely, and that I'm worth the fight.

And if you're not willing to stay, then just leave now.

I realized that they only care about you when you're close to death, but if only they knew that you already are dead.

and I wish to be no one else's but His own.

I found a picture I drew of you today.
And then Paul McCartney came on the radio.
What a coincidence.

and due to unfortunate circumstances, i woke up this morning.

how many pills does it take again?
just wondering, its for a friend.

A calm wave rushes over me
That brings only one thought into my mind:
*You.