My emotions confuse me, yet I still know what I want.
It's the same as what I've been wanting for awhile.
I just know that I won't get it unless I try.
But even then I still might not
succeed.

Everything is just a great big
"I don't know!"
Right now.

I woke up feeling fresh and renewed, because I know He has a plan for me.

they know*
Get ready for all of Hell to break loose

I want you to cleanse me with your pure love.

shes the
universe
in one
swift
motion.

how many hearts will you have to break to see what you've done?

and it's easy to not eat, because the control you feel is much more satisfying than food will ever taste.

and you message me every morning with a "hello beautiful", so I pass it on to my friends, because everyone deserves to feel the way that you make me feel right now.

and with you, it's starting to feel like spring instead of the cold winter I had known for so long.

disgust, guilt for feeling disgusted, and certainty that we'd never be able to put this back together-- even if we tried.

and I don't just want to be a temptation and I most certainly do not want to be owned.

"I'm just worried about you. Please don't let any of this bring you to the point of death."

*"Hasn't it already?"

he said that he saw you at the game
sitting all alone
looking around and
waiting for something,
it seemed.
he said that I had walked past and
he watched you as you stared at me
as I walked by.
what were you thinking?
why won't you say a word to me?
i'm completely lost and
absolutely confused.
please, just say
something.

i can't keep giving someone the best of me just to keep watching them choose someone else.

I will forever love you.

Go any lower and you'll expose what's left of your rutted and fragmented heart.

I'm still waiting for
You.

and in the light of eternity, does this really matter?
*no, no it doesn't.

It doesn't matter what time of day it is anymore; I'm a dead man walking.

The Stars talk to me from behind the clouds, but they only tell me bad things now.

I don't want to hold you down.

I joined a website that
promotes Pro-Ana
and now I
can't get
off.

and even on my weakest days im still getting stronger.

I miss praying with you at night, because I felt like God could hear me better back then.

i'm glad you got what you wanted.
god only knows when i will again.

Maybe it's another high, or maybe it's a realization. But whatever it is, i like it.

I realized that they only care about you when you're close to death, but if only they knew that you already are dead.

and I wish to be no one else's but His own.

and due to unfortunate circumstances, i woke up this morning.

how many pills does it take again?
just wondering, its for a friend.

i could've kissed your
almost lips all day long.
and the way you left me
wanting more,
i feel like you're a pro at this.
i love holding you,
and feeling like this.
I'm on a constant high,
and even when i come down
you're there to catch me.

the necklace,
its blue and simple,
but quaint and fierce.
it is strong,
and full of memories.
and it reminds me of you.

i really hope you like the necklace.
im a bit of a romantic.
one of the ways i show how i feel is
by buying presents, so hopefully you're
okay with that.

i just... i want you to know
that you are really wonderful.
and that i could and would
keep you in my arms all day
and dare to kiss your lips.

If I don't make it to tomorrow, the notebook will be in my backpack.

A calm wave rushes over me
That brings only one thought into my mind:
*You.

I guess heartbreak is good for the abs.

I wrote poems in your skin with my lips. It's not fair that someone else gets to read them with their lips now.

Your touch is lethal, i wish to be poisoned.

I miss you terribly...*when are you going to come back?

and 62 weeks ago was the start of my life, but 10 weeks ago was the end of it.

Loneliness is starting to become
Synonymous with my name again.

and I hate the way I tend to overstep boundaries, it's yet another thing I have to learn

And how is it fair that so much love is being lost? *How is it right?

and how could I ever forget?

and you give yourself away, piece by piece. Won't you be sad when your own puzzle pieces don't fit?

I was too afraid to admit it to myself, but not anymore