And maybe it's a bad decision, but also, maybe it's a good one.

and there are times when it seems like things are falling apart, when really they are just falling into place.

I never was the best dancer, but with you I felt like I could've been.

and I find it funny that I didn't notice that you blocked me until he asked me if I had checked on you lately. I haven't.

just let me kiss you again, let me show you why I'm the girl for you.

i still continue to fall to my knees for you, even though i know you won't be there to help me up.

i walked into his room
asked if he had a minute to spare
he smiled and said of course
and then suddenly,
i got really nervous.
i started giggling all weirdly and
he started chuckling and asking, "what? what? whats
up?" and i said, "i have a game tonight and i can't play in it,
you should come and watch, you know, to uhh...
support us or something." and he laughed,
asked what time the game was at and said,
"ill be able to make it!" and i smiled so wide,
and i left while saying, "see you later and thank you!"
and he slowly said, "goodbye... goodbye..." all sadly.

don't be sad, i will see you later. we can talk in the stands
and watch the game together.

mhm...
you make my widest dreams come true one day at a time sweetheart.

if it would've been summer then things would've been easier

the walls are caving in,
the house is falling.
im trapped under the rubble and
i can't get up.

And everything would be easier if I were dead.
But as for it being better?
Well, maybe even that, too.

How?

and how could someone so beautiful be so ugly?

Am I free or am I still *******?

and I keep telling myself that if I stay one more day, things will get better.

and if the last thing you ever said to me was "*******", then that would be okay. It is much better than an "i love you", because I know you do not mean it.

And today I felt alive.
Like really alive.
Like everything was going to be okay,
Because it will be okay.

and if you loved others with at least an ounce of love that you have for yourself, then maybe you wouldn't be so confused when everyone is gone.

and I think my time on this earth has run its course as well

you're the only thing in my life that feels truly right, right now.
i just hope I'm not wrong and
everything goes wrong
again.

and I know that as soon as she gets here, I will fall into her arms and weep.

there
      are
          just
                    a

                    bunch
                                of

                                   broken strings
                            

                                   all

                  around
**me

He said, "let it go, scream it if you have to, here you're safe with me." But your hands remind me of an engulfing flame and I'm not ready to burn.

And I dont want your past, for I can barely take my own.

You're such a *****.

At first I just believed that it'd be more ammunition.
But then I remembered that I have a gun, too.

you're clouding my thoughts
so i try to cloud my thoughts with science
and thoughts of immortality
instead of thinking of the one thing
i truly cannot achieve-
you.

and even on my weakest days im still getting stronger.

The Stars talk to me from behind the clouds, but they only tell me bad things now.

I had my face in between your legs and you could see so much more than the sadness you are faced with now.

I woke up feeling fresh and renewed, because I know He has a plan for me.

And I'm scared because the last thing I want to do is to hurt you.

Yeah, trust me, I've been wondering that as well.
Not only me, but my family as well.
And my friends.
And everyone else, too.
You're not the only one who doesn't understand why.

Everything is just a great big
"I don't know!"
Right now.

you're so smooth and i'm so rough
all of these rough edges will cut someone one day
and i won't be alive to help stitch them up

he said i melted in his arms
and i said "no, not a chance"
so he grinned and said
"oh? you don't believe me?"
and he did it
again.

You're lucky, at least you have someone. Most of us have no one at all.

and the pain i feel physically can never amount to the pain i feel on the inside.

he is the calm before the storm
and he is the eye of a hurricane.
while rushing winds roar all around me,
he is what keeps me steady and
on my feet amongst the
ferocious times around.
he is the sweet calmness
and you can tell by
the way his fingers
grab my sides sweetly
and his mouth travels d
                                          o
                                            w
                                               n
to places undiscovered
that he knows how to
appreciate and touch a
woman's body.

you kissed with such a mix of
tenderness and hunger that it
made me wonder how someone so
strong could suddenly be so
vulnerable and gentle.

and i know i said yes,
but i'm starting to think that
no would've been the correct answer.

And I believe I did something extraordinary today. I smiled at him. I saw him in the hallway and I smiled at him. He didn't smile back, in fact, he looked away. Almost as if he was so consumed with shame, that by looking at me would make it pour out from his unforgivable heart. But the thing about is that I've forgiven him and her and the whole situation. I still can't look at her, but I'm getting to that point. It'll probably take awhile, but that's okay. I'm not on anybody's schedule except my own and I will take as long as I need to heal from this. Maybe it will take a few more days or maybe it'll take a few months. But I will not let you take me down, so that you could feel better. I did something extraordinary today and maybe it won't seem like it to anyone else, but to me it was a step towards a new life. A better life.

and nothing is stopping me now, baby.
i know i'll have you soon enough and
i promise that this will start off right.

Why do I feel at home here with the scent of fresh flowers and cigarettes?

i look like a lady
but i think like a man
and i guess in this relationship
ill probably be a little bit of both
the things i want to do in bed
are definitely not too girly
but i know that you'd enjoy
the feeling of being touched
and licked
and loved.

but, im still a lady
ill put out your chair
and be as gentle as i can
and the kisses ill give you
will be as sweet as sugar.
ill wear perfume
and my dresses will
hug my hips
and my neck will taste like
love.

ill be everything you need.
from intelligent, to lover,
to just someone you want to
listen to music with,
ill be everything you deserve.

and all sins are the same in the sight of God, but all sins have different kinds of consequences.

and I sure as hell love midnight thoughts sometimes, because they can be so **** enticing.

don't remember the old me
she died long ago
she is not worth remembering
and guess what?
she dug your grave
for you
too.

i keep looking at the blood running down my leg and
it only made me want more.

i hate all of these promises that I've made, i'm just about
ready to break them.

I woke up feeling like I do not deserve to be this lucky, but God, I truly am so lucky.