I'm afraid of what I'll do.

and I wondered if you could feel my pain, but then I remembered that it's probably masked by the lust that suffocates your mind.

she needs tenderness and love, why can't you see that?

and the quickest way to lose sight of what God has to say about you is to only care about what others say about you.

in matters of the heart,
I am dying.
in matters of everything else?
I'm doing just fine.

i had you in my hands,
oh darling,
why did i let you
go?

what would relapsing accomplish? why do I even feel like this right now?

wait, what changed?
I can't keep up anymore.

this silence is much needed.

How liberating it is to say "No", even if it is only in my dreams.

And maybe it's a bad decision, but also, maybe it's a good one.

and if the last thing you ever said to me was "*******", then that would be okay. It is much better than an "i love you", because I know you do not mean it.

yeah, me neither.

I cannot sleep, *where did you go?

one half of me says, "**** yourself", but then the other says, "I'm already dead".

You never could keep your word

i sing because it's the only way i may get someone to truly hear my voice

This feeling equates to the pain I felt all those years. Why now?

is it a coincidence?

Your touch is lethal, i wish to be poisoned.

I used to write about how you were my "other half" but that's *******. I am whole with or without you. I do not need another person to "complete me". I need myself, and I need to love myself *equally and forever.

Everything gets worse at night

My heart aches that you won't share your pain and the source of it with me.

i just want him to dance with me, all throughout the night.
to tell me that I'm lovely, and that I'm worth the fight.

and I don't need you, I don't need you, I don't need you, but I still want you

and I wonder if you could feel my heart slow as I looked at her. How could I still feel so much love for someone who has caused me so much pain? I wonder if you asked yourself that question when I hurt you.

Do you remember how I wrote some letters to you for different things?
like "for when you're feeling sad" and "for when you miss me" etc?
I kept one of them, because I never really entertained the thought of you leaving. I also thought it was ridiculous to think that one day you might not love me anymore. But I wrote it, and I kept it, and I keep reading it over and over again. How stupid could I be to think that you could've stayed?

and without your love, I'm getting somewhere

things may have changed, but my darling, we're still the same

and in the light of eternity, does this really matter?
*no, no it doesn't.

i cannot think of
a forever where i am
always put down, luv.

and last night I finally dreamed for the first time in a long time. and it was completely wonderful.

breathe into my neck again
i swear this is fine

Let's move on.

you've broken another promise,
but i guess it wasn't important enough to keep it
once again.
guess i wasn't important enough,
huh?

you've got a fire inside, but your heart is so cold.

and to think that this time last year I was so in love... Where did it go? Does love just come and go as it pleases? Does it leave whenever things get hard? Does love wish to destroy when all you ask for is peace? No, no it doesn't. So does that mean it wasn't love?

Maybe it's another high, or maybe it's a realization. But whatever it is, i like it.

How many times will I have to bleed out before you realize my heart still beats for you?

if it would've been summer then things would've been easier