a star is a star is a star.

You make me smile so much it hurts.

and everything feels completely pointless, but everything's fine, I promise.

"sacrifice--that's what you do for the people you love."

and yet somehow, I still feel powerful.

my heart has bled enough
you'd think i'd already be dead
but the blood has stopped flowing
and the thoughts are just in my head.

You're right, I am reckless.

You're better off without me, maybe everyone else would be too.

maybe you would've loved me more if there would've been less of me

how do you turn it all off,
I'm sick of feeling like this.

And I believe I did something extraordinary today. I smiled at him. I saw him in the hallway and I smiled at him. He didn't smile back, in fact, he looked away. Almost as if he was so consumed with shame, that by looking at me would make it pour out from his unforgivable heart. But the thing about is that I've forgiven him and her and the whole situation. I still can't look at her, but I'm getting to that point. It'll probably take awhile, but that's okay. I'm not on anybody's schedule except my own and I will take as long as I need to heal from this. Maybe it will take a few more days or maybe it'll take a few months. But I will not let you take me down, so that you could feel better. I did something extraordinary today and maybe it won't seem like it to anyone else, but to me it was a step towards a new life. A better life.

once again, i spoke too soon.
everything that could go right went wrong.

you...you had always made the future feel so safe. as long as you were in it too, right beside me, i could be okay.

walking up and down the aisles of
one of my favorite stores only
reminded me more of the
last time we kissed and
how it didn't really
cross my mind at
all that it would
be our last
one.

****  you

Do you consider pride a fort or a virtue?

"There's flowers growing outside, love."
                                                                    *"But I'm inside and I am dying"

Maybe it's another high, or maybe it's a realization. But whatever it is, i like it.

and I have lost many things, but I have also gained more of myself than I ever could have imagined.

and I wondered if you could feel my pain, but then I remembered that it's probably masked by the lust that suffocates your mind.

I'm probably going regret this in the morning.

i had you in my hands,
oh darling,
why did i let you
go?

And now everything smells like the boy I adore.

there is something about the light in your eyes when you laugh

"it's *******," I said. you turned to me and said that it couldn't possibly be, that you were sure of it. but all I could do was breathe in the smoke and turn to the mountains and city lights surrounding me. I could finally breathe there, even with the obscene amount of smoke and dust in the air.

"It's just a different kind of love now."

My emotions confuse me, yet I still know what I want.
It's the same as what I've been wanting for awhile.
I just know that I won't get it unless I try.
But even then I still might not
succeed.

There are questions I wish to ask you, but I'm quite afraid of the possible answers that you'd give me. It doesn't matter though, because it's time to go, it's time to go.

you asked me why i didn't kiss you like i kissed him and i just said i couldn't because i didn't see you in that way, and i thought i remembered you smiling and saying thank you, but the more i think about it, i really remember the tension in the air and the tightness of your grip of your hands on your steering wheel in the moonlight.

And maybe it's a bad decision, but also, maybe it's a good one.

Justice surges through my veins and I want the world to be a better place.

and last night I finally dreamed for the first time in a long time. and it was completely wonderful.

i think it's time to say goodbye.

and I wonder why my name crossed your lips out of nowhere?

I'll never forget you.

Am I free or am I still *******?

you're not an idiot
you're just not the person I thought you were

My heart makes a fool out of me, and my brain does nothing to stop myself.

and sometimes it's too much, being so close to you, but not being able to hold you.

Oh yes, because your kind of trying was pushing me away and making me feel like ****.

Yep, that's trying.

i sing because it's the only way i may get someone to truly hear my voice