now I'm the one crying and cleansing this new bed that doesn't know the feel of your skin on it with my hot tears and endless, muffled screams.

Knowledge only whets our interest and increases our wonder.

you calm my heart and remind me of who I am

I want you to see my darkness and vulnerability, just please don't hurt me.

And you're just going back and forth, back and forth;
nothing more than a girl looking for that star in the north.
And you're not really sure where your loyalty lies anymore;
nothing more than a girl who goes where she thinks that she won't be poor.

Two months of love
and of lust
and of slowly
becoming something I'd
never thought I
would become...

happy.

there's nothing left but tears from the sky and
blood dripping down my hands

i just want to die

And if her lips were the sea
then I have surely drowned.

i hate you
and i hate this
and i hate
us---
or the
lack
thereof.

How many times have I thrown up the words "Please stay", only to have them shoved right back down my throat?

Mankind has always feared what it doesn't understand.

i had been saved just 18 days before
you walked into my life.
it was like God sent me my own angel
from up above!

i know its not my place, but *******.
******* for not understanding and
******* for not giving the love
they truly deserve.

just *******, honestly.

you just keep hurting me every chance you get,
i wonder...have you even realized it yet?

and you have me giggling like a little girl and smiling till I cannot smile anymore.

" I gave you a part of my soul"

and I expected nothing more and nothing less of you

i'll have to move on one day, and i guess its time to start the process, isn't it?

He bought these sweetart twist things at the movies last night.
He and I sat by each other and laughed at the movie we had to attend,
And I refrained from holding his hand or getting too close.
I thought it was sweet when he offered me a candy.
I took one from the bag, and electricity passed through my body when our fingers touch.
I doubt he noticed.
But, as I took a bite, I felt like I had to puke.
I looked around and wondered what would make me think of you right now.
He looks nor acts nor smells nothing like you.
What was it?
And then it hit me.
In my shaking hands I was holding sweetarts,
Which you absolutely loved.
While they may not have been the regular ones,
They still tasted like them and still somehow reminded me of you.
I tried to keep as calm as possible,
I couldn't let this ruin such a great night that I'd been having.
So, I finished off the candy,
And I made sure to not touch them again.

you're so smooth and i'm so rough
all of these rough edges will cut someone one day
and i won't be alive to help stitch them up

"But I tell you that men will give an account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken."

If I don't leave now, then I'll never get away.

i noticed that
all of the thing ive done
for you
have been out of
pure love.

i should probably
stop that,
its getting me
nowhere.

Will you control this power, or will you let it control *you?

disgust, guilt for feeling disgusted, and certainty that we'd never be able to put this back together-- even if we tried.

you touched me and I felt a strange calmness wash over me that I had never felt before.

I'd go to the edge of the universe if it meant that I would be able to show you just how beautiful you absolutely are.

Another day passes, and the demons roar again.
I'm tired of swimming, I'd rather drown.
Can I order another round?
Boom
splat
Where did all of that blood come from?
Im going to Hell.

I wake up to find you
still on the phone at 6am.
You turn over, yawn, and your
sleepy steel colored eyes flutter open to
find a girl who is fond of you smiling your way.
You stretch and say, "Goodmorning, how'd you sleep?"
Of course I slept well...I always do.
But whenever you and I are on the phone,
I always wake up between 3-4 without fail.
I'll wake up, turn over, and make sure you're okay.
I'm not sure why I do it, but I know that I care for you and
that I want to make sure that you're happy and safe.
The sage light that shines through my window reminds me of
how kind you are...how gentle you are.
It touches everything, but it is not harsh...
It is light and incredible, just like you.

where do you go when those colors and that safe place isn't
there anymore?

the night sky just isn't the same anymore.

whatever belief i had in love is gone.
so really, thank you for showing me the light.
true love is a myth.
and so is everything else that was "good"
in this world.

I'm content with being alone...

Maybe because I know it won't be forever.

and it's getting cold, baby, I want your hot hands on me.

this doesn't count as self-harm, right?

You know those movies where
when the girl walks in and she is
incredibly beautiful and
the boy she likes sees her
and he does something dramatic like
dropping whatever is in his hands or
stuttering on his words?

That just happened,
But to me.