read this slowly
in the intent to feel as though
your big toe stands on top of the highest peak
and attempt to spin
sweeping the air
and you are allowed to smile as wide as the sky above
and you may grasp the blades that make your shoulders
feeling safe,
you might feel alone.

And I walk everyday,
everyday I walk.
Everyday I go, I go to come back home.
One day may I hope to walk further till I reach
contentment.
My hands clasp with myself.
Everyday I sob at the door of this home.
I walk not knowing what I'll find, who
I'll find within
and everyday I leave still keeping
you with me.
I want to walk away from all I think.
I think I must be too weak
to stop.

I have wanted to run away ever since I learned how to jump off a soaring swing and land on my two front feet.
I have
wanted to run away ever since I learned how to seize the night under giant trees.
I have
wanted to run away ever since I learned how to heal heartbreak.
Impossible.
oh please,
I pack my bags underestimating how far my lungs can breathe.

Diseased
soon to be deceased
toxic me
how I failed to belong to you.
Once, I followed the back of your ankles and watched your body walk away from me
though you turned around to hug and kiss the face of
the meek smile that appeared for you.
Lonely travels now
following the empty space that replaces you.

When it's after dark
I see you standing under the streetlamp
something evil we imagined lurked under there.

I see you standing under the streetlamp
but really it's me.
something evil staring into my window,
into my soul.

I see you standing before me
under the light we used to create for each other
something evil is now between us.

he wastes
no time,
finds
no light
in the sun,
quiet tempered,
feels the temperature rise within.
that blazing star holds
no importance,
no longer.

Oh, the love of my life, I have thrown away…

Out of heartbreak and shame,
do I write about the guilt and my single regret?
Do I write about my sorrows and attempt to explain?
Do I cry out our memories, will my heart ever return to your chest?

Oh, the love of my life, has left me…

The cold on my tile floor
Fulfills me
It’s you I implore

For now...

I must love a life without you.