Eternity
It turns me so gently

In a moment
I felt the crash of waves
breaking on shores of our past.
An ageless zephyr speaking silence,
imparting truths ever clearer than the last.

In a moment
I witnessed a presence of self
that was static and, yet, yielding to the motion.
Feelings flowed and I dared to experience,
wading through a river called emotion.

In a moment
I knew that I knew nothing
of certainty and its incarnations.
Though if in my doubt is fate assured,
let my anxious heart melt into patience.

In a moment
I found only this moment

And it turned me, again
Eternally

Looking into your eyes;
Clear and glassy, a beautiful blue
Why did I have to meet you?
I would have preferred never meeting you
That way I’d have nothing to regret
Now that you’re only a memory I can’t forget
Why couldn’t I stay strong?
Why couldn’t I have kept fighting?
I’ll tell you why… I’m weak
And now I’m left here alone feeling ***** inside
I’m hiding behind a smile now
I’m no longer an innocent little girl
Why did you have to strip me of my innocence?
This guilt is like a worm, eating away at my insides
Even though I’m still a ******
You took away my purity
LEAVE ME ALONE!
Disappear from my life please!
My innocence was like a blanket
And now you ripped it off of my body
I’m now standing here alone, naked and cold
No matter how hard I try to hide it…
I can’t find a way to cover the rawness you left me with
God help me find peace!
I need Your unfailing grace and love
Wash away my filth and make me new
I Beg You!

Of the five senses, touch was the first to go
When the rot set in.
Necrotic from disinterest; disused and numb,
A disconnected *****, a colony of one.
.
Then sound; your messages left unheard.
Just the tap tap tap of some manic mind.
No pause...just repeat; the eternal rewind.
Sleep starved, all words stick frozen in time.
.
For leading me into temptation; my gluttonous sins,
Taste and smell succumbed, then withered and died.
Staunch as a deacon, control finally mine.
The harvest ignored, bloated  on the vine.
.
Only sight eludes my metal fatigue.
The mirror much stronger, it haunts and it taunts.
Its warped funhouse images all I can see.
The bully I made...this cruel double of me.

Depression, desperation
Because of loneliness,
Or loss of love;
That is what we write.

Joy, happiness,
Because of companionship,
Or love that we discovered;
That is what we write.

Mumbo-jumbo, randomness,
Because we need to express,
All sense of insanity in the world;
That is what we write.

And in all that we write,
It is for the purpose of expressing.

I want to be pretty and sweet
soft spoken and happy

but
I
am
just

scarred and sour
violent and loud

sad and alone
negative and angry

lost and fearful
introverted and shy

I want to be sweet
but
first
I
need
to
be


h
   a
p
   p
      y

(6W)

Sleep my children, you, not forgot.

Postscript:
Lured you here under false pretenses
What matters six or ten or
Nine eleven,
When each word enervates the midnite senses.

Through chance or fate,
You, selected on that date,
Thy names inscribed,
A select few, a chosen tribe.

In a megalopolis,
Where hurry and rush,
The hallmarks of the populace,
A city oft condemned as heartless,
Your place, your alphabet unique,
Permanently preserved.

Rest easy then,
Tho our names will be dust and forgot,
You individually, collectively,
Will be remembered eons on.

No need to economize,
Tears, the numbers of words,
Draw some comfort, tho minimized,
Your names, this day, all recalled,
Thus I bless you,
As you bless us,
**Sleep my children, you, not forgot.