as it's commonly said,
an apple a day
keeps the doctor away…

a song a day
sung or heard
keeps boredom at bay

a poem a day
written or read
fires up the brain cells

an art a day
created or viewed
keeps brain numbness away

a view of trees each day
keeps the mind fresh
and steady

but love
not love of particulars
or specifics
but love of all
love unconditional
keeps the whole being radiant
every minute
every day

cheap people laugh
at others for being cheap;
they're so cheap
they think others must be cheap
just like them

1
case in point:
see, I've always been misunderstood
by these cheap people -
like even when I buy my friends
a drink
they call me cheap
cos they expect one each  -
now, how cheap can they get?


2
and my girlfriend
comes to my apartment
with me
and then talks behind my back:
"He sticks popcorn to the ceiling
cos it's cheaper than a smoke alarm" -
now, how cheap can they get?


3
and I'm at the shop
looking for this perfume
for my girlfriend
and I don't like the $50 bottle
and not the $30 bottle
the shop girl shows me;
and not the $15 one either
and I say to her:
"What I'd like to see
is something cheap" -
and she holds a mirror to my face...
Now, how cheap can they get?



yeah, cheap people laugh
at others for being cheap;
they're so cheap
they think others must be cheap
just like them

I’m not in step with the world
I’d like to go
I don’t see very well
and the metaphor haunts me too

But Life is sacred
you can’t make it
you can’t take it away
Stay all the way;
smile each day

You have no use for me
and I don’t get you past literalness
My slur interrupts meaning
and I don’t understand
your language either

But Life is sacred
you can’t make it
you can’t take it away
Stay all the way;
smile each day

I’m tired of the ways
there’s nothing I can build anymore
The doors are closed
and there’s a new image here everyday -
every one unfamiliar, and vague

But Life is sacred
you can’t make it
you can’t take it away
Stay all the way;
smile each day

You give me words
and I eat leftovers
My mind soars above
and you hang on to my tissues
I’d like to go
I have to go
This room reminds me of the womb
As was coming so seems my going;
I’ll go

*But Life is sacred
you can’t make it
you can’t take it away
Stay all the way;
smile each day

let the days of ease begin
days of love and longing;
let there be grace in the heart
and the spark of life in one’s eyes

let us dance
in the elegant halls;
and let us walk leisurely in the shade
of willow and cherry-blossoms

let us seek
peace in the self
and offer this to who would want;
let us have minds as clear as water
that shows one’s form

lets us make love then
below the cypress that lines the lakes;
and when we sleep, let us dream
of nations and multitudes in peace

let us go, you and I,
let us walk these days given us;
let us walk this earth
revel in this energy in us;
let us walk hand in hand
as we live in
truth, justice and peace

let the days of ease begin
days of love and longing;
let there be grace in the heart
and the spark of life in one’s eyes

(Punch comes home. Judy, his wife, kisses him and asks about his day.)*


Judy:
How was your day at work , darl?

Punch:
Not a good day, sweetie…

Judy:
And why was that, Punch?

Punch:
Oh, the Boss is just overbearing

Judy:
What did he do this time, sweetie?


Punch:
Oh well, he comes in to my table
this morning, right,
and he asks me: “Punch, do you believe
in the after-life?”
An odd question to ask, you’d agree…
Anyway I say: “I do, Mr Blake –
I do believe in the after-life.”
And he says: “Oh, I’m glad you do…”
And he continues:
“Yesterday you asked to go home at noon
You said your grandpa died
And guess what? – 4 hours after you left
a man claiming to be your grandpa
came here looking for you
Said he was in in the vicinity
and he might walk home back with you
There’s sure such a thing as after-life, Punch!”

And all day Mr Blake was having a go at me about ghosts
And all my colleagues too, they were going: “BOO!”
at every chance they got…
Oh, what an embarrassing day…


Judy:
Oh, so you lied to get a half-day off, Punch?
And where were you?
You didn’t come home early yesterday…
Doesn’t look like your day is over, Punch…
Certainly not a good day!

1
well, there's this turkey
in the bush and it sees a tree
and there is seized with a great desire
to reach the topmost of the branches;
but no matter how it tries
it can only land on the first branch

"Try a little of my droppings, "
says the bull below the tree
"My droppings are packed
with vitamins and lots of energy"

2
"Thank you, Mr Bull, "
says the turkey
and eats some of the droppings
and straight feels the energy
and flies up to the first branch
and it goes to the next
and higher on to the next branch
And on and on
with so much zest and power
till at last the turkey reaches
its desired goal - right to the top


3
And from afar in the field
the farmer sees the turkey
and he shoots it down with his gun
"Will be good for dinner this day! "
he says



And the moral of the story in Aesop style:
******* might get you far and high
but someone will smell it sooner or later

Come home
sweetheart
wherever you may be
today;
though you may lie
in a corner of the streets
and call strangers family;
or live in the country
or go moving about
from place to place
- you still have a home
and mom and dad
and your sister and brother
waiting to see you


we woke up one day
and found your room empty;
you were the quiet sort always
never told anybody
and just left us
and threw yourself
into the wide continent
perhaps moving from city to city


Come home
sweetheart
wherever you may be
today;
a festive call home
from a public phone
to speak with mama
and dad is not enough
and a hello to your teary siblings
does not bring a smile:
we want to hug that lovely girl
we all know –
Oh come home, sweetheart


Mum keeps your room
tidy like the day you left it;
mum tells everyone you’ll
be back someday;
it’s like she carries you in her
a second time:
O come home
sweetheart
wherever you may be
today

I write mostly
to please myself
but the Academy
of Dr Poets
said:
That’s a gross form
of showy *******

so once in a while
I write to
give you
O most gentle reader
some form of pleasure
so that it brings us
together
into a sort of
respectable ***-elebration
and the esteemed Academy
some form of ******

1
the Emir has it in his head he is a poet
and the Emir invites Nasrudin
to an assembly
and the Emir recites his poem
with much ado,
with much loudness and gestures

everyone applauds the Emir
for his poem
but Nasrudin is quiet
and the Emir turns to Nasrudin and says:
“So, Nasrudin – what do you think
of my poem?”

“Sir,” says Nasrudin
“What you recited is not a poem
and neither does it make you a poet”

“Guards!”
screams the Emir
“Take this man Nasrudin
and put him in jail!
Three months let him be there!”

2
Three months pass
and Nasrudin is released
and is invited again by the Emir
to another of the Emir’s recitations
and again the Emir recites his poem
with much ado,
with much loudness and gestures

and again everyone applauds the Emir
for his poem
but Nasrudin says nothing and stands up
and walks towards the guards
and the Emir shouts at Nasrudin:
“Nasrudin – where do you think
you are going?”

And says Nasrudin:
“Sir – I’m saving you the trouble;
I’ll send myself to jail…”

Letters from Mom -  Letter 3 of 4: More news from home




Dear my Dearest *****

Oh, what a boring new week here;
nothing happens…

We went to the post office to send
you the heavy coat you asked for
with the metal buttons
And the new clerk at the post office said
the coat’s too heavy with them metal buttons
so he cut off all the buttons
and then the weight was right
and so he put the metal buttons in the pockets
You’ll find them right there in the coat –
ain’t he mighty helpful…

And the cemetery people sent Dad another notice
said If he don’t pay another 100 dollars
for the grave where they put Grandma down in
then, they said: “Up she comes!”

and  dear, dear old Uncle Woods
he fell drunk into the local whiskey vat and died
and he was cremated, as he’d always wanted
and no one here needed lights three nights
for Uncle Woods, he burned so bright all three
days and nights…

Oh and one last thing
Little Tim and I were trapped
in the car two hours
cos Dad locked the keys in the car;
and it took him so long to get me
and Little Tim out…
Sometimes I think
Dad’s really going senile before his time


Write to me, or call us again, Darl *****
Your loving Mom**

P.S. *We wanted to send you some money in
        But this envelope here is already sealed

Hey birds
you rosellas and mynas
and magpies
it’s nice Spring and the flowers
are in bloom
in my garden;
and it’s good to see you flying about
as in a Walt Disney movie
and see you hover at the flowers
or on the lawn
but really, must you sit on the fence
and **** on my side of the garden?
why don’t you turn your **** around
and drop it in my neighbor’s colorless yard?

Come woman
you must satisfy man’s desires
and fill the pockets of your master

You have not learned this
and you yearn after
your husband and children
far removed;
and ungrateful to your owner
you run off from the quarters

It takes time
woman
it takes energy and resources
and money to drag you back
and it stirs rebellion amongst the other girls

It is simple, you see:
you must satisfy man’s desires
and fill the pockets of your master;
and it is even simpler:
You break a rule
we break your feet;
we cut your tendons
so you can never run
You’ll be made useless to yourself
if you are determined to be useless to the owner
And you’ll be an example
to the other girls
an example to inspire fear and obedience



Come woman
teach by example:
you must satisfy man’s desires
and fill the pockets of your master

all's hush and quiet
in the bathroom
and things start
to talk to one another

drip, drip, says the tap
brr, brr, says the window
hum, hum, says the pipe
tchk, tchk, says the shower


I've got the worst job round here,
whines the eloquent toothbrush

Oh, yeah? comes the reply
from the unassuming toilet roll

Little Kelly doesn't feel
like going to school today
and when mom and dad
are out early to work
Kelly calls the school office -
she knows the "pro-see-dears"

"Hello," says Little Kelly into the phone
"Please note Kelly Blunder is sick;
she will not come to school today"

"Oh, sure,"  says the polite Ms Swift
of the school office
"I will take note of that...
And who is that, please?"

"Oh," comes Kelly's swift reply
*"This is my mother"

The kid next door
was in his garden
digging with a little *****
like he was burying something

"What you doing, kid?"
I asked earnest little Jerry
"You look like you're burying something"

"Yeah...." replied the boy
"I'm burying my goldfish"

"Oh," I said, with a condescending grin.
"Mighty big grave
for a little goldfish, don't you think?"

"Yeah," Jerry replied.*"That's because
my goldfish is inside your cat"

SHAKESPEARE'S MARRIAGE

November 1582

William Shagspere,18
of Stratford
marries
Anne Hathwey,26
Of Shottery

and six months later
the timer bell
at the oven rings
and out pops a fine young baby -
lovely Susanna

OK, time for village gossips
to exercise their tongues



SHAKESPEARE'S WILL


William Shackspeare dies 23 April 1616
and as a reasonable father and gent.,
makes his will and his wishes known
bequeaths items and money
and property to those he has known
(as he pleases)
and to Anne Hathaway,
says William Shackspeare in his will:
"I gyve unto my wife
my second best bed with the furniture…"




ANNE HATHAWAY DIES*

Anne Hathwey dies 1623, aged 67

O bodes it well, Will
to marry one older?

Many pleasures there be in such a match;
many are the plays born thereof…

We had to camp out in the woods
my deputy and I, on duty
at the last Town Music Festival
and as we lay down
I said to my deputy:
"Deputy, tell me what you see"

And my deputy described the stars
and the moon and the heavens
with infectious passion and poetic intensity;
and the deputy spoke with feeling
of soaring heights and sublime elation -
and then with a triumphant air
he turned to me: "Now it's your turn,
Sheriff - tell me what you see"

And I said: *"Someone, deputy,
has stolen our tent..."

one comes from
the noise and clamor
and walks in solitude
and with no claims on one
one might see the clarity
…one sees one’s conditioning, one’s upbringing and the
beliefs put in one…one observes one’s mind and all the
goings-on therein…..one observes all that…and one does
not make a judgment of any thing or any thought, but one
observes - for to observe is to see, and to judge is to continue
the conversation and construction of complexes in the mind…
one observes
all of one’s identity
all assumptions
since one’s coming
into this world
…a name is given; one’s race and nationality made
explicit; one learns one’s group and one is even taught
of the true religion, and the true way – and one is
taught of the truth, and the falsehood, and the superior
and the inferior…and one is taught one’s traditions and
ways and beliefs…one is taught the ways…and one is
conditioned and defined by this…
and one becomes that…
and one’s self hardens
and one’s identity is fixed…
and then if one observes all of these, all these
the goings-on in the mind and the construction of the self…
and one observes the mind,
the thoughts and the feelings
and all the goings-on
and all the whole chaos
and the continual formation
and the ceaseless construction…
and one sees all this and one sees all this is
a construct…all this is the world constructing its history
in the mind…and seeing all this, one lets go of one’s
construct, and one’s identity and all the beliefs and
all the hopes and the thoughts put in one…one drops all
dogma and theology and ideology and revelation…for all
this is but wishes, but how we wish things were… so one
sees all this put in one and one drops them…one drops
the idea of what one wishes were and the faith and the
beliefs – and dropping the crowd of thoughts and the
beliefs and the ideas put in one, and not creating new ideas
and not clinging on to new ones, and not exchanging
new ideals for old – one drops everything and one sees
one’s nature…
one sees clarity,
and there is quiet
and there is stillness and silence…
there is a stillness…one can see then what actually is
there rather than what was put in one; and one sees
all the architecture of the group’s history and projections
in one’s mind…
one comes from
the noise and clamor
and walks in solitude
and with no claims on one
one might see the clarity

Grammar Kitten has
learned well its lessons;
and of all the marks
it loves the comma best
for, as Grammar Kitten explains
to Ignorant Kitten:
*“a comma is like us cats:
the comma’s got the clause before the pause
we’ve got the paws before the claws”

The Math teacher poses the question:
"There are 10 people
9 leave the room
How many people are left?"

And the student replies:
"1 people are left"

                                                         ­            **DOH!

Let’s go mummy,
let’s mummy;
let’s to the shops -
we need to get a few good things

Nothing for me,
honest not a thing for me:
just maybe for little Tom;
he’s been crying
you know, mommy;
he’s been crying
and we’ll get him a few biscuits
and a toy or two
for it’s been a week
we got him anything


Let’s go mummy,
let’s mummy;
let’s to the shops -
we need to get a few good things


Nothing for me,
honest not a thing for me:
just for busy Daddy;
he’s not shaved in a week
if you’ve noticed;
we need to get him
those throwaway blades
and those nice-smelling water in a bottle
he puts on his face;
he’s too busy
and he’s just not been looking smart
the past week


Let’s go mummy,
let’s mummy;
let’s to the shops -
we need to get a few good things


Nothing for me,
honest not a thing for me;
just for you
I’ve got three coins saved
my sweet mummy
who’s always thinking of all of us;
maybe a coffee and cake for you
while little Tom and I play
in the children’s corner;
and maybe some shampoo too
and lipstick, just for you
all with the three coins
I’ve got in my pink purse


Let’s go mummy,
let’s mummy;
let’s to the shops -
we need to get a few good things


Nothing for me,
honest not a thing for me;
but sweet mummy that you are
you always think of me
and if you insist
well, like you might say:
“But darling, we haven’t got anything for you” –
well, if you insist,
I’ve made a list
I’ve got it in my pink purse
along with the three coins
I’ve saved just for you


So let’s go mummy,
let’s mummy;
let’s to the shops -
we need to get a few good things

there is silence;
not a thought or motion
all activity whispered and soothed into oblivion
sinking in the moment;
not the observed or the observer
or the companions
or outside and inside;
all diversity and division none
but just the moment,
this instant when the moon rises over the sea
and all things and names and being
and all manifest and unmanifest
unawares rolled in one

Nasrudin rides his donkey
and is stopped in the streets
by a neighbor

O Nasrduin, says the neighbor
I have been wondering long
and you might offer an answer…
tell me: What is the meaning of life?

And Nasrudin’s donkey brays
aloud and brave:
Hee-haw! Hee-haw!
Hee-haw! Hee-haw!

And Nasrudin says to the neighbor:
*I believe my donkey has answered your question;
and now, if you will excuse me,
it’s time for me and my donkey to move on…

Tom’s moved in to a new suburb
It’s a new term and new school too;
he sits beside this pretty girl
in class, trying to impress her
and Tom says to the girl:
“Hi…Did you listen to the Principal
talk in the hall? He’s an absolute idiot,
don’t you think?”

“Do you know who I am?”
replies the girl

“No,” says Tom, wondering
what this is about
“Who are you?”

“I’m the Principal’s daughter,”
says the girl

“Oh,” says Tom
and then he says:
“Do you know who I am?”

“No,” says the girl
“I don’t know who you are”

“Oh, that’s good then,“
says Tom, quite relieved

In the midst of something crucial
diminutive But
butts in -
Oh, don't you hate that? -
just when evolution is expressing itself
and here's But to bring in devolution;
and so I told BUT recently:
But me no Buts
X me no Xs
Just **** off…
But…
But…
But…
Oh don't you know when you're not needed?
Look here - I'm in the midst of watching that
**** **** of that damsel across the green field
and here you come butting in
It's her swaying **** I'm watching;
now, you - flick off!
But…
But…
But…
And exasperated, I said:
OK - What?

But that's not a woman's **** you're watching;
it's a bull across the green field -
put on your glasses, and you'll see what I mean

And sure enough
with my glasses on I could see
But had a point -
still, But takes away our illusions
and so I vent my fury on But:
OK, wise guy - so I can see it's a bull;
Now get your bull off somewhere else
But…
But…
But…
Oh, the diminutive, persistent But -
it follows one like one's own ****!

you know
that little bird that’s
on the tree
and sings when it wants to
and then just sits
just looking about?
you’ve seen that thin cloud
in the vast clear blue sky
that little wisp of cotton
that seems so aimless
and so pointless?
have you seen it?
and that small leaf
that appears overnight
perhaps on a creeper you keep
in a small vase at your desk?

well, I just breathe and go like that -
yes, I do what must be done
like brushing my teeth
and going to the supermarket
and withdrawing money
and making some -
but mostly I’d float like the cloud or
grow like the creeper or chirp like the bird
and I have no more time than the present
and no awe for anything or anyone
and I have no ambition for eternity either
so thank you very much

dear sparrow
at my window -
what should I do now
with all this pain in me
and all this stubborn sorrow?*

there are the scars of life
and all that we do to one another
there's the injustice I suffered
at the hands of those who had power
and I stumbled and I fell
and there was laughter all round
there is regret and time offers no solace
and I am left in my isolation
staring through my  window
at passing strangers with vacuous looks

*dear sparrow
at my window -
what should I do now
with all this pain in me
and all this stubborn sorrow?

Kron joins the monastery;
he must stay in isolation
and is allowed to say 2 words
every three years


3 years pass
and Kron is brought before
the Elders
and he is allowed his 2 words
Cold room, he says


3 years later
again Kron is brought before
the Elders
and he is allowed his 2 words
Bad food, he says


3 years later
again Kron is brought before
the Elders
and he is allowed his 2 words
I quit, he says


Not surprising, say the Elders
*All you have done since you came here is to complain

did you see love died
yesterday? –
like an unwanted baby
in the gutter, in the bin
without a whimper
without a moan;
O did you see
love died yesterday?


first we shouted this is mine
that’s yours
and this is us, that’s you
and drew bold black lines
round the earth
and cunning prevailed
over oceans and sky –
O did you see this way,
love died yesterday?

and we instituted
societies
and hierarchies
and had measures
so the many would serve the few
and so love died,
did you see, yesterday?


and we came back from hills
and caves and deserts
and we said: God spoke to me
and this is the Word that is in the Book
and if you disagree, you’re dead meat!
and so we killed one another
but O, it’s love we killed
did you see that
how love died yesterday?

and some grew insane
the inspiration became depravity
and they said God sanctioned killing
God wants blood!
God wants me to ****!
That’s what they say.
O, do you see
love died yesterday?


did you see love died
yesterday? –
like an unwanted baby
in the gutter, in the bin
without a whimper
without a moan;
O did you see
love died yesterday?

said Big Mouth one day to Sharp Nose:
You know what?
You should stop poking your nose
into everyone’s business!
and said Sharp Tongue to Big Mouth:
Look, who’s talking!

Oh, you two are a perfect pair!
said Busy Ears to Big Mouth and Sharp Nose…

And who listens to all the gossip?
said Bright Eyes, without batting an Eyelid

And Moon Face laughed at **** Face
and Blue Eyes winked at Donkey Ears
and ******* said to Double Chin:
You’re getting old!
and Pretty Face said:
I hate talking about age!

and Nose said: Life stinks!
and Mouth said:Life *****!
and Tongue said: Life’s stale!
and Teeth said:
No, life’s like curry meat –
you want to sink your teeth into it!
and said Air Head:
never have so few
in one small region
contributed so much
to the Universal Body of Philosophy!

And Hot Head burst out:
If you guys don’t shut up
I’ll get Razor Teeth to bite Red Tongue
and Brain will be pierced with pain
and Eyes will tear and Nose will run -
and so shut up, everyone!

Then – sssshh! - there was poker face silence…

1
Tom learned a trick
at the playground:
Just say to any adult
"I know your secret"
with a knowing air
and they'll pay you
to keep your mouth shut

2
so Tom said to Dad:
"Dad, I know your secret"
and Dad said: "Oh God!
Son,  don't tell your mom!"
And Dad gave Tom $10

then Tom said to Mom:
"Mom, I know your secret"
and Mom said: "Oh God!
Son, don't tell your Dad!"
And  Mom gave Tom $10

that evening when the priest visited
Tom said to him:
"I know your secret!"
And the priest answered:
"Goodness me, my son -
I never thought your mom would tell!
Whatever you do, my dear son,
don't tell your Dad!"
And the priest gave Tom $100
and promised more

Z is useless
Like an appendix
It's not like English'd collapse
if you threw Z to the dogs
(you couldn't call it a sacrifice):
we'd still communicate
we'd still fornicate

it's like if your doctor cut
your appendix and threw it out
you'd still eat and ****

so, useless Z -
like many parts in the human enterprise
like your religion, your ideology, your prejudices:
it's there,
in the human system
but each a Z;
part of a strange assembly

and now, most dignified Gentlemen
and most cultured Ladies -
it is time to turn our attention
to loftier matters, to speak of the spirit
rather than of mundane concerns and
to be stuck in unimaginative and non-inspiring
habits;
and so we turn our attention to the spirits
to the spiritual
to such high matters
to things that lift us above time and our bodies
and such points in reality and frail flesh
that binds us and make little of us;
but the spirit, most sane Sirs,
elevates us;
the spirit, most elegant Ladies,
liberates us;
and so we begin
with bottle in hand, in deed
(look, every religion has its symbols);
and  through several drops of this holy water
(several gulps will hasten the magic and miracle)
we are  indeed hand in hand with
the Spirit of all spirits
for what matters it if you hold or invoke
gin, ***, tequila, ***** or whisky
whatever it is that one lifts
one is lifted by
and that One one lifts is the Grand Spirit…
and you see transformations occur,
the mind is released from the mundane and the pedestrian
and the ordinary;
and one may see light, there is a sense of lightness
and those who may be touched by the Grand Spirit
may actually levitate
and one has visions and ecstasies
all through the spirit,
most Spiritual Sirs
most Lofty Ladies…
and mock not this religion of spirits
for have not masses of humanity all through History
done the same in the name of religion?
Does not humanity do all of the same with
the Great Spirit they call God and
do not they too have visions and ecstasies
and feel the spirit move them and
are always aiming High?
Their senses and wits dulled
but their spirits going on high?
Drunk on high
with words, words, words...
And are they not in their true religion
moved by God and have such grand visions?
and will you then -
O ye vipers!
Ye hypocrites! -
mock the spirit
when you will  
sanction and approve and dance
in the midst of those who drink religion?
will you denigrate your brothers  
and sisters
in the spirit?
Oh, you who are drunk and revel in the name of God
and holy books and repeated words
will you judge those drunk in the name of the spirit
and radiant revelations  that come to them
when they are moved by the spirit?
Judge not, ye hypocrites!
Judge not, lest ye be judged!
And so we end this sermon in amicable spirit,
in unity, in spiritual oneness
between
those who drink of the high of religion
and those who drink of the spirit we have spoken of
Go ye forth hand in hand then
as siblings
for ye that worship in the name of religion
and ye that have ecstasy in your own holy bottled spirit
ye are but brothers and sisters
moved by the One Spirit…
Go ye forth together, go in ecstasy, go high…

today’s theme
dearest love, O unknowing love
is the gentleness that is you;
it is the quiet
like the yin in the Dao
unformed, not fixed and forming
in constant flow;
and gentle and open and soft
and its softness its strength;
and so today I saw that, I felt that in you
in your word, in your gesture
in your walk across the aisle;
and your softness follows me home to my quiet dreams
like the shadows below the trees

they could you know
put my face on currencies of the world;
I mean it’s so simple an idea and ingenious
and so original, I’d think -
though you may beg to differ
or disagree most violently
depending on your humor
but still
I wonder no one or nation has thought of it
this simple act of having my visage
on the national currency

It’d lighten up things you know
and people all over the world
might have a lively conversation point
as when they see my Alfred E. Neuman image
and they’d say to one another:
Who’s this ****** idiot?
Or someone else might say:
Anybody knows this clown?
And then they’ll really have lots to talk about
as they wait for their planes to fly again
anytime after nature decides
to send smoke signals in the skies

So really
I don’t understand what these nations
of the world are waiting for,
do you?
OK, I mean they might have inhibitions
like copyright and privacy issues
(like how’d you put a living man’s
face on a national currency?
but really, if they want to put
my face up on world currencies
that are legal tender and linked to real sovereign
states recognized by the United Nations
(banana republics need not apply)
maybe this poem will resolve the issue




Look, my face could go
on the American dollar
and they could say:
Honorary Citizen
Or, OK:
Alien – not the movie, but the person
The British could
put my face on the pound
and have the words below:
Raj for King of the UK
And my own fair and beloved land down under
could put me on a hundred dollar note
with the words:
Cuckoo! Cuckoo! Cuckoo!
Yeah, my destiny in life is to provide mirth;
as long as others are happy, that’s good enough.
Or Australia
could dump British Royalty
from the five-dollar note
and put my face on it instead –
I don’t mind going cheap, you know…


And imagine what good might happen
if they decided to put my face on the Renminbi:
Hey, the Chinese yuan may just appreciate
and what luck that’d be for America –
which brings me to another reason
why the Americans should put me on their notes:
surely it’ll have a downside effect
and their currency value will go down naturally
and give them a competitive edge over the nation behind the Great Wall;
and the Indians, yes, they could ask dear old Gandhi to take a rest
and use my face instead, with the words:
return of the prodigal son
after being a swineherd…


Look, the Euro Currency could have my face
on a Michelangelo David (naked)
(and they could change Euro to Eros?)
and it’d draw a lot of attention away from
the financial woes of Greece and Italy and Spain;
and surely the United Nations could do well
to teach humanity a lesson by negative example
by minting UN money and having my face in its first issue
with words of gold clearly below my visage:
Not the way we want to go…


But look, whatever the countries
of the world may decide
they’d better decide fast
for I might just change my mind
overnight
or even change my face
(you know plastic surgery and the lot)
and quite frankly
they’ll have greater copyright issues after I’m dead
with a garrulous widow whom I’ll leave behind
and my poor desperate progeny
who are still trying to save some money for a deposit
for their first home in the lucky country…
So government leaders and Presidents
and Prime Ministers take note
you don’t need to queue
there’s no bureaucracy
and no forms to fill up
even though you are world governments
I know I’m dealing with –
just do it
but do the have the decency to send me a note….
just so I know…
and you might, if the notes are legal tender
and completely revolting to the citizenry
on seeing my visage and countenance
on their national currencies
(which wouldn’t surprise me
cos I’d just be quiet disgusted
to see their faces on my currency)
you might send me all the money
so long as they are all legal tender…

grow little girl
grow like a flower
grow into fullness
charm and grace;
grow, my little darling
grow into strength
and wit and wisdom

may you take your place
take what is yours
in this wide world of ours;
may all good things
and all blessings
and choice possessions be yours

may you grow
to bring joy to all who see you;
may you always be filled with energy
and may all who meet you
feel the happiness in your presence
may you live long and well

may all beings feel the warmth
just in hearing your name;
may all beings benefit
through your life

grow little girl
grow like a flower
grow into fullness
charm and grace;
grow, my little darling
grow into strength
and wit and wisdom

Well, I was in this grand city
and was at this vast public park
the size, they said, of Versailles;
and I sat there having my sandwich
when I noticed these two men -
the one in front digging a hole
and moving on;
and the other behind filling up the hole
and moving up

and so they worked
(this energetic pair) -
one digging a hole and moving on
and the other filling it in and moving up
and round and round in the park
they went
and on and on

I could not stand it any longer
and I asked the men:
"What are you guys doing - digging
and filling? And digging and filling?"

"Oh, tell us about it!" said the men, spitting
*"The guy who puts in the plants
is on sick leave today
But surely you will agree -
the job's got to be done!"

let there be no bitterness in my heart
no regrets, no judgement that berates
let me walk on my path,
let there be birds that shall sing
let there be joy in my heart
and may that be shared by those that I
might meet on my way

let me not value, nor pass sentence
let me not frown, or smirk
let me have my path that is radiant
with no system, nor ownership
free of labels
and may I walk that way, my own
let there be the sun, the moon and space
all things that exist, in their nature
and let those Mighty Here and Above
know I will not follow nor will be followed
and if it need be, may others be pleased
when they shall see me pass by

For sure the woman
killed her husband -
she served him hot soup
mixed well with poison

But her defense lawyer wanted
to give her a chance
so maybe she could get
a few years instead of life

And so he asked her as
she stood in the box:
“Mrs Tile, did you feel any remorse,
considering you killed your husband?”

“Sure, I did,” said Mrs Tile
*“when he asked for second helpings”

What? What’s up with you guys?
can’t a cat have peace in one’s own home, yeah?
never seen a cat eat before?
can’t you just mind your own business
and let a cat do a cat’s business of eating, ha?
HA! - what’s that laugh for?
and for goodness sake put away that camera
You think I’m cute, ha?
wait till I get my paws on you
and a flick of my tail while I’m in mid-air
will take care of your camera
What, you some kind of paparazzi or what?
OK, let a cat eat and you mind own business, yeah?
Oh, I’m really suspicious about you guys
Maybe you’re hungry, yeah?
go get your own food guys;
stop looking at cat food
or at cat as food – I’m really not sure about you guys
You’ll eat anything!
OK, jokes aside
I’ve worked hard my day entertaining you morons
and purring so you can squirm with delight
and curling up in your laps
so you’ll be happy and live longer at my expense
No, I’ve done my work so let me eat in peace
Do your work and go get your own food
That’s better...
Ah, now for some cat food, a catnap after
and some cat peace for a while at least
without adoring humans who think
they’ve got a circus just because they’ve got a cat at home

you know
it’s not like anything is forever
nothing lasts till the end of days
so you must go
one day or night in hill or in bed
while fighting the enemy
or having *** in bed;
conditioned beings all of us
coming of stars and space and dimensions
particular to our space-time continuum
and set of conditions that ***** us into being;
you must go and I must go
and the saint must go and the powerful must go
and the holy and the unholy
and the clever and the stupid-
everyone, they must in their turn go;
and it doesn’t matter how weak or strong or power-packed you are
we must all each have a go;
but really think about it before you nod in agreement
for callous as it may sound
child and young and old
and wife and beloved and mom and dad;
think about that before you readily nod heads;
and so you’re God, and You think You are Forever?
Sorry brother,
Time’ll knock the d out of you
sooner or later…
for really -
no matter who you are -
everyone must go…
But I’m God, you may protest -
but really, you’ve had your centuries
and Time will not permit eternity
(you may choose to go with thunder and lightning)
but you too, Dear God,
sorry brother,
conditioned beings all of us
coming of stars and space and dimensions
particular to our space-time continuum
and set of conditions that bring us into being;
the time comes when each, creator and created, weak
and Omnipotent (Ouch! So Powerful!) -
each must go…
Time, you see, does not permit eternity…

WARNING*:  *Horror...you might find this series offensive or distressing if you are not used to horror.
_________________­_


1)
I know
once I was just like you
I was young and furious too
the world was too much
everyone made you feel
so hopeless, you think you could ****
I know exactly
how you feel

Like the time
my parents kept on and on
about responsibility
I had to look after my things,
that made me mad

And then I decided
I must assure them
I would grow up to be responsible
make them feel confident
I must put them at ease
so I did

And the police asked me
if I knew where they'd gone
and I showed the cops my perplexity:
“They were always
responsible in everything -
how could they just go away
and leave me like this?”

The police and lawyers searched the house
and they found the will -
my parents had left everything to me
and had put my siblings
neat in order
stretched out on the dining table
in the basement kitchen

Diogenes is in his tub
in the street corner
and a servant of
The House of Vines
comes to him

'My Master,' says the servant
'bids you, Diogenes, dine with him
this Saturday night'

'I will not dine with him,'
says Diogenes
'Tell your Master so'

'And why is that?'
asks the servant
'My Master will want to know'

'Tell him,' says Diogenes
crawling back into his tub
*'The last time I dined with him
in his house
he did not express proper gratitude'

you’ve been nice
you’ve heard me sing
and you’ve offered praise
for what you like
(and ignored me for what you don't)
But you mustn’t think
you’ve heard me deep
or you’ve known me now
For it’s always
someone else singing
depending whose voice was last heard
whose blade keenest, whose skills superior
who has fingers extending from the murky past
You’ve been nice
you’ve heard me sing
but you mustn’t let me convince you
no matter how hard I try
it’s me you hear
for I’m just a valley of echoes
(are we not all?)
and a scarecrow over which linger
vultures and such scavengers
never a thought of mine
not an emotion of mine
is the subject of my song
but the words generations have spun
to make myths and radiant lies
that I can sing, and you can acquiesce
I’m just the voice of conditioning
And you too, as you listen and concur
we are but
our conditionings singing
it’s the past singing
it’s not me
it’s not you
though you put a face to it
and we put our names to it
you’ve been nice
you’ve heard me sing
and you’ve offered praise
for what you like
(and ignored me when you don't)
but you mustn’t think
you’ve heard me deep
or you’ve known me now
for it’s always
someone else singing

O have you heard? -
the standards at the
Faculty of HISStory and Catssics
are slipping;
and its esteem
in the public eye declining
Have you heard?

Why?

Well,
that Faculty’s
got too many cheetahs
That’s why

Mom told us Dad had been
a spoiled brat, dependent and
his parents never let him
do any work at home

so about a year after
they were married
Mom managed to send him off
to the shops with a shopping list
(yes, it took Mom a year
to persuade him to go alone to the shops)

And dad came back home
pleased with himself,
carrying:
1 bag of flour
2 bottles of sauce
3 boxes of corn flakes
4 bottles of milk
5 bags of sugar
6 bottles of olive oil
7 bottles of vinegar
and
8 bags of salt

Emperor So-and-So
with his Ten Thousand Beauties
in his Blue Pearl Harem
pulls at the sleeve
of his Human Resources Manager
while they are watching a Military Parade
and he whispers:
See that beauteous woman
sitting there in the third row…
Get her to my chamber tonight
for I want to have a go, go


and that night
as part of foreplay
Emperor So-and-So whispers
to the girl plucked
out from the third row:
Hey, beautiful -
Where have you been all the while?
Never seen such a beauty before, you know.


And the girl from third row
looks with surprise
and with her mouth wide open, she says:
*But Sire, I am one of your
Ten Thousand Beauties
in your Blue Pearl Harem

I walked in to the University
I said, "Show me the library;
that's what I always want to see"
And they brought me into
The Hemingway Library -
and that had me drooling, that
they'd think of naming the place after
that famous writer, and a favourite

"That's amazing," I told my guide
"that so far away from the USA
you'd think of naming it after Ernest Hemingway"

"Oh no," said the guide, puzzled
"It's named after Andrews Hemingway"

"Is he a writer?" I asked

"Oh, sort of," my guide explained,
*"he wrote us a cheque for 2 million"

sleep gentle love
mum will watch over you;
a few drops of water
will slake your throat
and fill your little tummy
and get you used to hunger


milk for our sweetheart
and some rice and bread
perhaps a ripe banana
and some meat for our darling
dad may bring soon


warm clothes for our sweetheart
and a little rattle
and a colorful doll
perhaps with these
older brother may come soon

sleep gentle love
mum will watch over you;
a few drops of water
will slake your throat
and fill your little tummy
and get you used to hunger

so this neutron walks
into the local convenience store
and grabs 3 cans of beer
and says to the girl at the counter;
“So how much do I owe you?”
The girl smiles:
*“For you, no charge”