I don’t think you know what              it is you want with me
                                                   exactly
I don’t think you want me
                                                   exactly

Do I even want you?    
"Yes. Of course you do."          comes the answer unbidden and unwelcome

If maybe we don’t want one another, why                are we both still hanging onto this
                                                            ­               exactly
If maybe we don't want another then why                isn't it easier to hang onto this
                                                            ­               exactly

old habits die hard
isn’t this where she always runs
straight into the arms of a man

“little miss independent” she acts
in a way maybe she is...
&& they all think they’re using her

each one serves a purpose
a place for her to hide
somewhere to weather the storm

they’re just a quick escape
shelter from the empty
a way to get away from the shambles

each one ends a bit differently
takes a little more out of her
**each shambles paves the way for the next

Hey, It's me
You know who I am

I'm here for the long hall
I'm stuck fast, going nowhere soon

don't know how to quit
don't know how to bail

Wouldn't even if I could
It's not my nature

Give yourself (and me) a break
try not to make me wish I could get away

you're constantly split
between trying to protect me from yourself
and letting me in

You can call me kid, but
I promise I'm a big girl.
I know what I'm risking being here

I knew you were a risk
from the first conversation
but your arms feel like where I should be

Maybe it's you
who should find some
safety from yourself

                                          Just maybe that safety
                                                should be me

every time
you ask the same questions
sometimes twice

                     Why on earth are you here with me?
                     You look at me like you genuinely care.
                     Why?

my answers are mangled messes
there's no absolute truth
only many components of why

tonight I am quiet
I contemplate how to say
exactly what I mean for once
  
                            I thought you were adorable, and interesting
                            at that ridiculous icebreaker the very first day.        
                            I do care. You're a genuinely good guy.
                          
Maybe eventually
I'll be able to finish what I mean.
Maybe someday I'll answer:

                            **You're everything I've ever waited for...

Every person that comes through the door
I hope is you
I'm hopelessly strung out
reel me back in