I wait
even a glimpse of you
would be plenty sometimes

                   You used to hug me when you saw me
                   even if it was only a 30 second meaning

You didn't
yesterday instead
you said 'hey dude'

                    You're frazzled. I get it. Honestly, I do
                    but a little encouragement wouldn't hurt

I want
you to just tell me
what you want

                    Don't be afraid to hurt me.
                    I'm not as fragile as I look.

I knew what I was getting into from the start.

I'm the kind of girl
who doesn't need much
to stick around for awhile

I'm the kind of girl
who would simply be there
every night if you'd let me

I'm the kind of girl
who doesn't mind
that you get busy sometimes

I'm the kind of girl
who sometimes only
wants to be an extra pillow in your bed

Love of Wisdom
You don’t seem so wise to me
You spend all day questioning
Searching

I’ve noticed this double standard
you don’t like to be searched
you don’t like to be questioned
you object to my endless curiosity

I’m curious
I’m headstrong
I speak my mind
I act

You told me not to try to change you
I ask that you extend me the same courtesy

I just trust you
My gut says it's okay
This all feels....
genuinely okay

I'm still in a state of shock
you're such a conundrum
all at once gentlemanly and crass
lovely and dangerous

Everything you do
leaves me in a state of amazement
You're everything I've ever looked for
trite I know

Your reputation
should leave me terrified
quaking in my shearling boots
It doesn't

You calm me down
Leave me bubbly like champagne
Your body curled around mine
Feels safe

You feel like safety

Is it possible
that you meant
everything you said?

an inquiring,
lonely mind
needs to know

I'd never tell you this
...
I'd never tell anyone this
...
here, in the dark of night
I miss you.
It's not that I haven't replaced you
and replaced you
over and over again

I shiver
...
I can't stop
...
Perhaps it's the time of year; the cold
You were the only love I'd ever had around the holidays
Perhaps it's just the stability I missed; strong arms
You were always my rock
Perhaps it's how my parents loved you; too much really
You were so, so good to me


Maybe I'm just lonely.