I should silence
this troublesome whispering
inside my heart

I've already considered
the plain facts
of absence

Falling headlong
into its gorge
too soon

Not knowing who might
drown in their own eyes
night after night

It's not my wish to punish
or pain another soul
beyond my own.

Her words will light a fire
underneath deniers, eye-to-
eye, take on the liars, I, too
have too long uttered silence
while our children quietly
despised us, we, even me
who knew, choked it down
the unclean smoke unspoken
yes, how dare we leave this life
behind for generations to bare
our crimes, and yet they rise
above to breathe fresh air
the clean O2 of burning desire
searing, shouting utter truth
to wake the world, to sing
and single out, to recognize
a lie when it is a lie, FIERCE
like fire, beautifully reactionary
aflame, to inflame, now is here
your time, rebel, my rebel child
fight for your very life, your future
children, species, for all mankind.

There was always a great darkness

moving out
like a forest of arrows

So many ships in the past

their bows bearing women
as stalks bear eyes

The burning ships

that drove their bowsprits
between the thighs of dreams

With my ear to the ground
I hear the black prows coming

plowing the night
into water

and when the wind comes up
I can smell the rotting wood

leaving a wake I want to be
left alone with

Night after night

like a sleeping knife
that runs deep through the belly

the tomb ships come.

Looking out my Mother's back door window
Green pasture shining in wet dew
Forest of the Cherokee National
Surrounding my emerald view

Mom and brother still sleeping soundly
A little quiet time to enjoy and remember
Red Tailed Hawk circling sky roundly
Dad's century old barn with leaning oak timber

Dreaming of my future small cabin
Back in the corner of the high pasture
A picture of morning's shiny green satin
The view out Mom's window I capture

r

I remember how the blood
on the tip of each blade
of grass in the sun
where it had splashed
made them look
like tiny swords you see
in picture books
when my friend placed
his hand on a stone
and took a knife to his finger
right through the bone
for pointing out the faults
of his father to his face
who later hung himself
in disgrace and the son
with the stump
by his right thumb
felt the pain
one thousand times
as he flung his father's shame
all around praying for
a cleansing rain to come
water the flowers by the grave
and wash the sheen of his sin
away to make everything
all clean and green once again.

I've seen too many quiet nights;
no conversation,
no wine to drink to us,
no explanations.
I compete with the Game of Thrones
for your attention.
I lose. The king still dies.
Dragons fly. Same old story.
I lie here reading Pablo
till I weep.
I want to say I love you. But I don't.
Say it, I mean. I want to think
you love me, too.
But you don't. Say it.
Let's have that conversation.
Dragons don't fly.
It's true.

r ~ 5/23/14

Until December
Will you remember
Will you remember me
Now September
Still a spark left in me
Stoke that spark
Spark as stark
As cold December
Keep me in your memory
Come new year
Don't know where...
Don't really care
Where I will be
Chasing embers
Once remembered
I'll remember
The spark
That stokes my ember
Come December

r  17Sept13

I awoke this morning before the dawn.
You were gone.
You forgot to turn the coffee-maker on.
Ai.

r ~ 4/30/14

You were everything I wanted
And nothing that I need

r  14 Mar 13

Captain Jesus
smile on me
the battle is over
I'm finally free
now I can rest
in the sweet Mother's arms
and dream of emerald meadows
on your father's farm.

r 20 Feb 2013

Sun hid his smile away
on a cloudy day
o'er Carolina

Moon she cried
thought he had died
for a love he left behind
across the line from Carolina

At night he dwells
in her emotion
an ocean of the bluest tears
that ever fell on Carolina
on a cloudy day
when the sun forgot to shine.

r ~ 8/9/14

It is almost summer
and the hot night
seems so quiet
as the wind on the water
lifts the sails on that ship
sailing west like smoke
from the fire I lit
to burn the driftwood
of my dreams and desires
until morning comes like
that sad-eyed Moriah
I've admired from afar.

I once painted a dartboard in the corner of a room.
Half on one wall, half on the other; hit bullseye every time.
I thought I had found an answer.

I once jumped out of an airplane.
Nowhere to go but down.
That wasn't the answer, either.

I once walked a trail bordered by a swift river and a sheer cliff.
I could go where I had already been, or someplace else.
I found the answer.

r ~ 4/27/14

Still night broken by call of soul owl
watching over the lodge of my father's brother.
The next world awaits my uncle.

His walking clothes prepared.
His feather oiled to a brave sheen.
Knife freshly sharpened in beaded sheath.

He calls to owl. I'm ready.
The women begin the journey chant.
My father dances with joy tears.

3/30/14

Yesterday I headed west
I left the sea      gulls behind me
they cried    so did I
something strong was calling
me home   where sacred stones
are planted strong
with words carved deep
inside my heart
I'll plant lillies   lay a rose
tell my Mother   I am home
and my brother  and Dad too
I'm glad to see    they aren't alone  
as I turned away
I heard a bluebird say
Son, don't you come to stay
too long     for this earth is cold
when the winter comes 
the ocean's now your home
go breathe that warm breeze
until the sun no longer shines
and the eagle flies   the gulls
no longer cry    then you'll know
the time has come   for you
to climb aboard and sail away.

There is an actress
who always plays the dark parts
in my dreams handcuffed
to the moon with black seams
in her stockings asking me
to paint her behind
the scenes in the fifty-est
shades of red
you've ever seen.

The Moon is like lovers -
some so full of themselves
you can't break your gaze
away, while others
are half-lovers -
here tonight, gone
tomorrow - and then
there are those -
the quarter-lovers
- you know, the kind
who shine and pass by -
slow in the short nights
- not stopping long
enough to even whisper
- goodbye, my love.

In deepest wood
  A home once stood
Roses bloom by chimney fall
       An old stone wall
Lines remnant trail
Gives heed to open well
                     Where lilacs trace
                           An empty space
                       And fills the air
              With scent to wear
                 An apple tree
       And mulberries
           An old home site
                 In morning light

r  ~  9Mar14

Do not look sadly
at days gone by
days below days
like a river
running under stars

do not listen to priests, the blues
or that bitter veteran fool
of some past war claiming to miss
a piece of his soul, his only disease
is the rotting of an *******

the poet that forgets
in remembrance of you
is a lunatic's left hand man
a gun in the hands of a fool

on Sundays he is the acolyte
of the moon, night following
other nights, the eyes of the blind
the stranger who  lusts after wives

his tool the bitter root of a persimmon tree
and every time he draws his pen
like a knife and drawls his soliloquy
I say forget him, let us drink again

for poets do not cut their fingers
at cheap joints like ******
toasting one another's death

they do not eat the cheese or hoard
the rich black bread of their poetry;
the true poet gives it kindly to the poor.

The words between
leave not a trace
on page or screen
or time or space.

The cursive script
or font filled line
serve to encrypt
this life of mine.

Some days I'm hot,
and some days cold.
Some days I'm young,
and some days old.

I have known love,
and I've known pain.
I've been a dove,
and I've been Cain.

I have been high,
and I've been low.
I've cast the die
where few will go.

I'm hidden here
somewhere between
the far and near
and never seen.

r ~ 7Feb14

In my dreams
there is a bird
and it sings
all night long
there is a fish
in a river
who's lost
it's memory
a worn work shirt
that smells strongly
of love
there is a man
and a woman
clocking out at dusk
there is someone
I can never remember
and in the Inn
of night
there's a dead man
a stranger
at the window.

If I were a watch man
I'd grab the moon and
put it in my pocket, man
take it out every now and then
and ask him O moon
is it time yet to give up
the ghost of my past loves
whose paths I've long crossed
lost and missed my chance
since the crows have danced
and left tracks with their feet
cut deep into my cheekbones
but I've never owned a watch
it's true (believe it or not)
or cared to know the time
and the moon looks just fine
shining up there in the sky
such a scene to be seen
instead of stuck in a pocket
of my old gray faded jeans.

What do you say to a child in pain
when nothing can ease the burn,
          the hole,
the enveloping wave
          of darkness?

Words are not a chain
to fastly anchor
          one's soul,
to cling, to save,
          to harness.

Time is the only healing rain
to calm the churn,
          make whole,
to fill the vase,
          drown the sharpness.

And love. Mountains and oceans of love.
This is all I have to give.
My words are not enough.

5/15/14

The willow weeps
While widows sleep
All alone in their dreams

A baby's cry
A lover's sigh
In the dark of the night

A tear that's wept
Promise not kept
Memories forgotten

A picture framed
A sorrow named
For years or forever...

r ~ 21Jan14

I could write a poem about you.
It's true.

But a poem would only make you love me
more than you know how to.

I could write a poem about your eyes.
They're blue.

I could tell the world you make my day all day long.
Nights, too.

I could tell the world all about you.
The world would share my view.

I could say that your days live inside
my heart. They do.

I could write a poem about you.
It would be true. Would you?

r ~ 4/28/14

So long, love,
say gnite honey,
I'll go pull a stump,
so here I am, the field
of night all around me,
crazy, sad and lonely,
what love there was,
like a bee on a rose
buried in the year book
of past attics, you never lost
my shadow because I
never had one beside you,
though you did lose a ring
once, or twice,
you were like a woman
holding mirrors
over the spring, there
are screws
in the window sill
never sunken to hold
a pane, you don't listen
for me in the rain
anymore, you lie yourself
back into the one
you think you love, cruelty,
cruelty, cruelty, that's all
you've ever known, my love.

A heart of stone
Not cold, hard, uncaring
But forged by the heat of the earth
To be strong, unyielding, forever...
Like my love for you

r

Somewhere just to the right
of that second star
in the sky

there's a black hole
******* the joy
out of life

Maybe I'll wave at the moon
as I fly by sometime soon

I'm tired of life's knife
skinning and carving,
notching it's time
on my bones

I'll decide the when
and the how, the hour
of flight

somewhere just to the right
of that second star
in the sky

where morning hides
like a thief in the night
biding her time

slowly waiting for the light
to leave these tired dark eyes

But not tonight, for tomorrow
there's still much to do.

Silence
I know her
like the back
of my hand
an eyebrow
under a cross
of ashes
the cloud
I followed
for so long
now I listen
on lone walks
for the song
of stones
beneath the creek
I once called
home sometime
so long ago
I can't remember
why I ever listened
to her at all.

Shiloh
In Hebrew " place of peace"
Didn't work out so
For brother Johnny or Uncle Reece
Nor many of Grant's Boy's in blue
Though now many a man
Does rest there in peace
On the field at Shiloh

r
Jun 9

There's a storm
rolling in
from the east
off of the sea,
salty rain on
my skin,
if you could only
taste me,
darling, take
and shake me
until you hear
the thunder
under the wind,
and we both see
the lightning
out on the horizon
lighting a fire
all through
the night hours,
until our tired eyes
ride out the tide,
and we wake
on the waves
of a new day.

Many bridges I have burned
Hard lessons I've unlearned
Rocky trails where I have turned
The path that lead astray

If you look into my eyes
You'll see there no disguise
My dark browns hold no lies
I'll hold on to your gaze

My heart still holds a fire
My soul you can inspire
Help my legs to not tire
As I go alone my way

Another mile another day

r  14 Nov 2013

Rain large and steady
Wind fierce and heavy
Waves crashing ready
To turn the boat
Into confetti
Seas can be mean
As the devil
At the turn of
The hat I don't wear

Mostly for working lunch
Though we have large break room table
But learned quickly that I don't enjoy
Tea Parities amongst my colleagues
r

There are the dead
and the dead and
the dead and the dead
floating down stream
towards the Ferry, and
there are the things
my brother, Barry, never
thought about telling me;
I am dead asleep, I am alive
and you are gone south
my brother, tell me I am that
which I am, I am dreaming
that you are not death yet,
we are  one person
getting up and going
outside naked as the day
we were born, one April
and one May, we are still
rolling down hill in the hay,
and you say we should be
shaking our fists at the moon
O, brother tell me you
miss me and I’ll tell you, too.

Hello ****, some water?
You're looking well for
Such an old stone.
Wish I could say the same
For Keith, but then, he's
Aging real, isn't he? :)
He ain't fading away too soon.
Well, I'd like to say that time is on my side
But I'm all out of time and I have
Yesterday's papers to read before
Dinner at Ruby Tuesdays. Let's spend
The night together and paint it black next time.


Ah, John John. There you are.
Why, you don't look any older
Than the day you metamorphosed.
Pardon me while I flick that lady bug
Off your back. Always were popular with the gals, weren't you. Speaking of, Eleanor Rigby stopped by yesterday to help me with some chores and offered to take you to her strawberry fields forever if I would give you up. I told her that she was in line behind Abbey up the road and Penny down the lane. You hound dog, you.

Eric, you old derrick. Seen a domino
'Round here. I seem to have misplaced one.
Watch it, I see some snake eyes in those
Weeds. Need to get that old *** Layla out.
What, lazy?  Your faith in me is blind, old son.
You are in the presence of the lord of the stones.

Mr Fogerty, how ya been?  Nice day today, eh?  
Have you ever seen the rain like last week?  Coming down like water out of Niagara. I was beginning to wonder who'll stop the rain. We were fortunate, son. Coulda flooded.

There you are, big as a dirigible and heavy as lead. Large enough to be a cornerstone to that stairway to heaven.  Ought to have named
You Zeppelin.  We could use you to build a dam for when the levee breaks. By the way, seen a black dog around here lately?  Neighbor Bill's been going through some good times and bad times. He's feeling dazed and confused since his old lady said babe, I'm leavin' you and now his dog has run off. Man sure could use a whole lotta love. Well, best be movin' on.

There he is!  My main man, Neil. Bud, you are showing your age, but still rockin' in the free world, I see. I remember the day I found you down by the river some time back after the gold rush. I was feeling helpless till that pretty cowgirl in the sand with a heart of gold took pity on this old man and gave me a hand loading you up into the back of my VW.  It was like threading a needle, and the damage done to my back without her help would have been something awful. She was a real cinnamon, that girl. From Ohio, if I recall. Well, I see the sky about to rain, looks like a hurricane may be coming. Could be a real thrasher. Tonight's the night that we shoulda been having a harvest moon. Well hey hey my my old friend. Time for this southern man to head on in. You hang loose, and I'll be seeing you in the by and by.

r ~ 14Mar14.

Love, I've forgotten
how to spell your name,
forgotten the taste,
the smell, the feelings,
all those things you
used to bring to mind;
no, not you, not her,
nor lovers now blurred
I've known in my life,
but you, Love, the meaning
and joy, the sweet pain
of one simple word that
I've not heard in so long
a time I can't remember.

I learned the blues
too soon
and the pain
I gained
singing on dark nights
to the rain our plight
those who know loss
is just another cross
to bear for the dark guitar
strings piercing hearts
the cross spreading her legs
like a pair of pliers to make us beg
plucking nails from ****** fingers
picking scabs that seem to linger
through the calloused evil seasons
of high cotton and boll weevils.

I take off my boots
and throw one at the moon
tonight, the starlight is mute
after listening to the news
watching politicians kissing
the President's *** like it
was a ruby on the Pope's ring
while the people weep
in the streets, crying out about
all the orders from above,
no more doves or butterflies,
no gardens, no dreaming, no
poets, no brooms, no hope
for the sick and weary, only
last straws, executive actions,
anti-immigrant policies.