Before my brother died
I trusted man and medicine,
science and doctors,
maybe even God.
But now that he's gone,
I can't even trust myself
to write words that mean
a thing at the end of the day.

Sky bleeds thin red line__
    Obsidian blade cuts deep
    hinterland of time.

r ~ 8Mar14

I won't deny
October brings me 'round
September flies
October settles me down
Pumpkins and Halloween
I love to discover
New visions and carvings
Of jack-o-lanter
Handing candy to smiles awonder
Wish my young childhood days
Of October I remembered
But still miss sweet Septembers

r

Today the sun stared down around me. The light I saw through wasn't of the yellowish warm kind, or the blue tinted light that speaks of summer coming, nor was it gray like those days that make me long for something else.

Today the light that I looked through was clear like mountain water. I saw the tree for what it is. A tree with hands that reach out to be touched. With leaves the air needs for breathing. A tree for perching.

Today I saw a snow-white butterfly upon a yellow daylili. The butterfly had no markings. The lili stood in the shade of my porch. I remembered that in the fall when butterflies chase each other, it will be time for the fishermen to gather their nets repaired during hot summer months and return to the sea. The white butterfly reminded me.

Today I saw a hummingbird with a ruby necklace darting around my empty feeder. The one hanging out front. I took it down and refilled it with cold sugar-water from my fridge that I keep in an old milk bottle. I refilled the one out back, too.

Today I watched a blue grosbeak splashing in a clear pyrex baking dish that I keep water for the birds in next to my feeders. The grosbeak bathed while a male cardinal watched, spitting sunflower seed hulls onto my wooden deck. A housefinch waited patiently for water and a turn at the mixed-seed feeder.

Today I saw ants crawling on the dried dead body of a wasp. This made me like the ants. They like their wasps dead. So do I. Eat up, guys, I thought.

Today I saw that the breeze had scattered petals from my rose bush across my porch. My dog dozed on the petals. That made me smile.  Reddish pink petals clinging to a black dog when she walked onto the grass. The breeze smelled of roses.

Today I saw clearly what the sun was staring down upon. Things that need watching. Remembering. Today, I saw through a light clearly.

5/25/14

I said
Baby, I've run out of words
All the old writers took the good ones

She said
I'm sorry, suga
They're such big selfish turds...

Why don't you post that one I like
You know, of cloudless climes and starry skies..

I said,
Baby, I can't plagiarize
Especially Lord Byron
He's a famous poet

She said,
*I know it, honeybun
But your old stuff's gittin' tirin'.

Searching for a book of matches,
I came across one of your poems
from 1993. It wasn't written on a
matchbook; no.  It was written on
a page torn right from my heart.

The line about how a blind man
helped you to see that words hold
more love than truth still burns my
eyes.  Seems you were right; and
you were wrong, too. The ink was
no longer as blue as your eyes
that day when we last held hands.
That day you penned these words
to my heart. That very day; our last.

Your poetry used to make me smile,
or laugh, or curse your soul for writing
words that I could never seem to find.
This poem was your best; your last.

The ink has faded and ran  in places
from all these years of tears shed and
long dried. More tears would do no good. 
I can hardly read these faded lines. You still
would not be here to kiss them away,
to tell me that everything is going to be
alright; no.

r ~ 5/8/14

Neil Young singing now-
  you are like a hurricane
  there's calm in your eyes

r ~ 7/3/14

In fallow field
   Where corn once grew
I chanced upon
   An old mule shoe
I pondered on
   The many miles
The shoe had plod
   In mulish style

In river bed
   Now dry as bone
I came upon
   A worn millstone
Wondered aloud
   The wagons full
Of new milled corn
   The mule had pulled

In old grey barn
   Within a stall
I found these words
   Carved on the wall
George Washington
   Once slept here
Best **** mule
   From far and near
;)

r ~ 20Mar14

I could write a poem about myself.
I could write a poem.
I could write.
I could.
I.

r ~ 4/28/14

"...a black woman
in a white house
built by slaves..."

Seven billion strong
and each one of us
alone in our thoughts.

r ~ 3Mar14

Maybe we all need to donate more. HePo now.  Eliot has been running this excellent site mostly out of his own pocket. I try to donate yearly, but could do better. These format changes could be a downgraded server, an April Fools joke a week late, or PUTIN/TRUMP Team doesn't like some of the content we've posted and they have gucifer ******' with us. Could be it's got a bad case of HePo, too. Whatever it is, I hope these changes are just a temporary glitch.

Her onyx eyes
burn in my mind.
Black alibis
hide hidden heat.
Forbidden nights
in darkened rooms
on darkened streets.

She stills my screams
with silken thighs
in wanton dreams
on twisted sheets.
She leaves me spent
in unknown rooms
on unknown streets.

Her hunger fills.
our emptiness.
Stiletto thrills,
crescendo beat.
Two bodies move.
In hungry rooms.
On hungry streets.

r ~ 5/11/14

'Was built a wall of loneliness
The blocks were made of hopelessness
No door, no gate, no openings
A moat within the inner ring
The sides sloped down to emptiness

'Was kept away the happiness
With salty tears so copious
The songbirds cried and took to wing
'Was built a wall of loneliness

The sky lay down in weariness
Grey clouds did tire of dreariness
So steep the walls no vine could cling
So cold the wall kept out the spring
All hearts cried out in brokenness
'Was built a wall of loneliness.

r ~ 26Mar14

Whitewashed fences mark
the division of shallow lines
of demarcation marring a bitter plain

Truth that too can be seen
as a balance with bruised knees
whispering prayers of bent supplication

Looking for a smile seen in clouds
of judgment and blurred hazes

The drum beats of life and echoes still,
in cracked addicted alleys of fairness
gone awry with a broken wheel
spinning on a loom of time

Native pains and naive indiscretions inexcusable, earth telling a compelling
tale if you can dig your hand in the dirt

Seeking through the mire for truth
and tales long since buried in the sands
of time, which whisk away history,
books burned with lies full of distaste

Imprinted on impressionable minds
like miscreant clones sprung
from fanatical factories

Indoctrinated with false education
and breeding still more hate, echoing,
listening to the heartstrings playing
a concerto of truth, an aria of sad realism

A beating of a drum
that has long since been silenced
by an oppressive, regressive hand

These times give me fear when courage
is what is needed most, post haste

Hate seems to be in such a fury
hurrying at a madman's pace.

Sing me a song of rain.

Strike lightning in my eyes.

Blow a warm breeze through my hair.

I'll dance a happy Wood Stork dance for you, my flower child.

Pretending all the while that we're at Yasgur's Farm.

r ~ 4/25/14

The night carried you away
like a river
it wasn't a dream
it was a flood
even the buzzards were sad
as I walked along the evening
I wanted you
to come out of the dark
into the dark
I kept my eyes open
for the port of your neck
it was so easy to bruise
with its vessels
blue as the earth
and then the dam broke
like my voice
but not your spell
and when the moon came up
they took you away in a hearse
I double-crossed myself
with the holy water of your eyes.

Rains come
Rains go
The wind blows
And so do Mondays.

r ~ 7/21/14

She came to us on wings of Spring
Of Marian the birds did sing
Her cat-nipped tails tells tales
Do make hearts swell
And to her a sweet refrain
Happy Birthday, Marian

r ~ 20Apr14

So precise
the lines
yet not
this painting
done for you
Wisps of joy
and sorrow
in their passing
I see you watching
as they trail
across a sky of blue.

r ~ 7/23/14

Our good books tell us
Christ walked on the water
but that God was brought
to the New World on galleons,
so I ask you, wise ones, teachers
and preachers of History,
how it came to be that the Son
didn't require a boat like the Father,
and how the hell you managed
afterall to get things so backwards
when the soldiers and priests
kissed the the ground and walked
on God's children around them.

You said I love you.
I say I love you more.
But love is a prime number,
and zero squared is still zero.

r ~ 5/10/14

Another letter today
Just one more step along my way
Check that box and forget about
Whatever tomorrow brings
Even if it's only for a little while
Close my eyes and try to smile
Close my eyes
To the light.

4/3/14

Hey, Leon
Let's go outside and play\
No, Ramon
It's too cold outside
We'll freeze\
Don't worry, Leon
I've got my ice pick!
:)

r  7Jan14

I feel fine, now
that stoical ice
grows within me
like a tangled vine
wrapping around
inside, and outside
I'm a laughing smiling
clown upside down
on my house, and
my life, you see
this frown painted
by Courbet, realistic
as Pushkin's finest
piece of poetry.

I used to keep a bell jar
full of old fine fishing line
arrowheads, gold coins
and stuff not easy to find

like cherry cured shine from
my mountains of Tennessee

buried in a lunch bucket
twelve paces from the coop
waiting for the moon
who took his own sweet time

slower than a long night
listening to the same hoot
of the same old hoot owl
in the same old dying tree

knowing it was the end
of my days on the Creek
me, I could see it coming
like a dead star's light

from so long ago
I couldn’t possibly know
which old road I’d follow

so holler at me my
friends, my loves
from time to time
wherever you be

whenever your heart strings
are feeling a need
to tell this spirit of mine
your sorrows, your joys
or wishes for
better tomorrows

and I will from somewhere
be there with open arms
and ears and a heart

sewn tight with that jar
of invisible string
that binds our lives together
forever and longer than that
light from a dead star still
burning on shining so bright.

Desert pool shimmers/
   Drinking water from cupped hands
   Cool sweetness of life

r ~ 5Mar14

O, Traveller
They were glorious
Our boys in gray
Tho the blue carry this day
We shan't forget
No, never.

O, Traveller
Did you see them march
To beating drum
To smoke and fire
Our boys in gray
We shan't forget
No, never.

O, Traveller
This rain and mud
Virginia awaits in sorrow
The day is gray
For our boys
We shan't forget
No, never.

r ~ 5/26/14

To live a life in perspective
I’m told you need to define a horizon
line eye level to the viewer.

From my hill of years the view is fluid
as in watery, but also as in unpredictable.

On the sea’s face a wall of fog moves in
and out like histories remembered
and forgotten.

Sometimes silver striates the sea
with such a glitter of insight
I am bedazzled and cannot look.

Sometimes fogbank and ocean merge
with such blue-gray unity it seems
the horizon rises so that I stand on
the shore, dwarfed by a surf of knowledge
that pounds at my ignorance.

Sometimes the sea becomes invisible,
the white air a questioning emptiness,
a finger-touch of damp against the cheek.

Now tethered to a lonely space

A place without a warm embrace

T’is hard to break the ties that bind

The rope that hope could ne’er unwind

To want that love once unconfined

Could sail to Rome, or Greece, or Thrace.


Was want that placed within this vase

The scent of rose so to efface

The mournful song of nightingale

A blushed cheek song behind red veil

Now tethered to a lonely space


Where thorn once pricked now left no trace

Wrapped now in sails by lover’s grace

For stars aligned and wind behind

To break the tether in my mind

Dreams not tethered to lonely space.

r ~ 4/4/14

I kneel in a field of wheat grass
catching grasshoppers.

I scoop underhand into my jar, another
at the height of its jump, a third.

I put my jar by the stream, pull one
out and I grab it, force my barbed steel
hook through the belly still trembling.

I cast long loops of line into the drift
below rocks where current
froths and whirls.

I stand mechanically slightly ashamed, uncomfortable on that shaded bank
where trout strike hard.

I let them swim, then hold fast, reeling one, exhausting him, wrenching him
into air, his tail drumming against the sky.

Hanging  from the line
his fat belly flinches.

All his life of riding rapids, hiding
in flats embraced by waters’ fast flow,
by red rainbows in his scales.

I didn’t expect that open mouth,
that whiteness, the gills stop twitching,
the eyes caught in that open stare.

A wrinkle in time
       born with hair gray
  and fragile bones
       jutting against feathered skin.
Black eyes cry
           for joy that day brings.
  Child of ages sings
         to Mother Earth.

r ~ 13Mar14

It’s cold outside tonight
but I had to get out of the house
so I went walking about without
any particular thought in mind
as to where I was heading, you see
I was feeling kind of pine-boxed in
and couldn’t sleep, I needed a 2 a.m.
cigarette, so I put on my clothes, my boots
a coat, grabbed my smokes and slipped
on out the sliding glass door, it’s quieter
than the front one that has a bad habit of slamming, not laying blame, but ****
if it wasn’t darker than the inside of my
eyelids, darker than  the catacombs where
dead stars go when they die, and the moon hides away when it’s all out of shine, just
like where my thoughts sometimes seem
to go, you know, when my mind just won’t
put things behind me, and I’m feeling all
kinds of silence, it’s like listening to moss
growing on stones and wondering things
like why bees don’t die in their own honey
and a white stone in a field full of field-
stone is a pretty nice rock, but still, a rock
all the same, so I walk to the dock down
the road in the dark where a man can go to wash his troubles away before day breaks.

Big Bear swims tonight-
    Stars reflecting on water
    Painted by van Gogh
    
r ~ 1Mar14

Someone I once knew

and cared for long ago

took the slow ****** train home


a friend arrived alive

home from Iraq

broken, full of static


my father's trail

of caring drew the pancreatic

hound from hell


sadly, but

for the life of me,

I can’t load all that ****


into a broken boat

to shove away

out onto a moonlit sea.

Joy.
That temporary high.
Fleeting feelings
in a short-lived life.
The rush that makes it
seem worthwhile.
A one way street.
Joy.
Intermittant peaks,
highs then lows.
All things in between
till you run out of road.
A dead end street
on a one way trip.
Joy.

r ~ 5/23/14

When I was thirteen
and still seeing daylight
between my ****** feet
I went to spend the night
with my best friend;
we watched Gunsmoke
on the TV and raided
the refrigerator;
I remember his sister
coming home later
and leaving a crack
in her door and taking
off her clothes before
turning the radio
of my childhood on
leaving it playing
all the hot night long
and I sill hum every one
of those sweet songs.

Life provides the contours.
Poets provide the shading and colors.

r ~ 23Mar14

Tonight Hunraqan
roams the night
lifting the shroud
of dark clouds
so the moon can peek
down  on my long dreams
of water, and the mystery
of sleep; I am tranquil
one eye open, thankful
for the respite of brief light
while somewhere a plank
floats east to the Atlantic
carrying a forgotten book
of the K'iche' Maya language
with my name inscribed
just inside, I sigh, oh why
heart of my sky, why?

I asked the bone colored moon
Why
He didn't know
And doesn't care
He's just a hunk of bone
Up in the sky
And me
I'm just a bag of bones
Down here
Looking up at the sky
Asking why
Waiting around to die.

r ~ 7/7/14

It rains
and I think of bales
of wet hay
crushing the wind
out of children
riderless ponies
with frayed rope
tied to the pommels
I find it hard to explain
eyeshadow and dead weight
tied to the other end
and girls who would like to
go on in this world
***** by their mother's
stepsons and husbands
the men and women
of learning have left us
so much, I prefer
to look at the moon.

I should silence
this troublesome whispering
inside my heart

I've already considered
the plain facts
of absence

Falling headlong
into its gorge
too soon

Not knowing who might
drown in their own eyes
night after night

It's not my wish to punish
or pain another soul
beyond my own.